2 more days to almost a month, I stopped writting. Why? I guess cox, I just couldn't find the right time to write bout my happenings.
As days gone by, time flies by. Many were in my thoughts, many that I have seen and heard, many that I have learned, many that I've cried over bout. I wonder again, what is life all about? Many things happened in my life at recent, I've been trying very hard coping it all. And at the end, have I really coped them? Or most of the time, I ended up crying in the room?
Looking back at all that I have gone through. Some kind of hardship for me. This and that. Struggle here and there. Financially down, emotionally down, physically down as well. But, only one that I could turn to. My Almighty Father in HEAVEN! HE may not throw me cash from the sky. Again, I need to tell myself all these happens for a whole good reason.
Sometimes, being too happy or I shall say to be extremely happy ain't something good tho. Cox once when you feel emotionally down, its really deeply down. Agree? *Well, you can choose not to agree. :p*
Time really passes me by so so quickly. Its been 3 months that we were together. How is it getting along? Hurmp. I do not know how to answer this question anymore. :) I surrender this to God. If this is meant to be, it will go on. :) If not then, why cling on it? Right?
Its been 5 years in CSS. Yesday was the AGM. Very few juniors attended. Many seniors in fact. We know and have thought this over. Whoever turns up are God's chosen ones to be in Committee. We will not question much. Somehow, the outcome of the AGM was really something we wanted. :) Amen! Praise the LORD!
At times, not all bad stuff that happens are bad. You know why? Cox, when you have gone through the struggle, you turn back and see. Its such a struggle and I'm able to get thru it all! That showed the Greatness in you!
At times, when you're not loved by someone. You'll somehow find someone that love you very very much more than anyone else. That is God and yourself!
Its been a tough year for me. Sadness. Feeling hopeless. Feeling frustrated. Feeling tired. Struggles.
Kick some ass! Cox its 2 more weeks to 2012! Leave all this behind. Cox, all these are just enough! I do not deserve all this. I deserve a happier, more wonderful and meaningful life! ^^
Friday, December 16, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Xmas Miracles?
Quintal Gretel said this in a meeting yesterday, "Who knows if there will be a Xmas Miracle?"
Same thing goes to me, can also I expect for miracles to happen?
Work have been fine these few days. I supposed is because am starting to know more on my job. :)
Mangga Busuk will be getting married next year in January. Mummy have not been well these days. Supposed to be meeting Dad this weekend but I think the plan needs to be cancelled off.
The Xmas Miracle that I hope to have is, may the peace be back to my family, may the health be with my family members, may happiness visits us at our door.
What Xmas Miracle do you expect? :)
Same thing goes to me, can also I expect for miracles to happen?
Work have been fine these few days. I supposed is because am starting to know more on my job. :)
Mangga Busuk will be getting married next year in January. Mummy have not been well these days. Supposed to be meeting Dad this weekend but I think the plan needs to be cancelled off.
The Xmas Miracle that I hope to have is, may the peace be back to my family, may the health be with my family members, may happiness visits us at our door.
What Xmas Miracle do you expect? :)
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Life
Ya. I can't believe that my friend had departed for a week already. Plus I could not believe how time flies. How time change people. How time make everything nice and bad. So much to write again, till I do not know where to start. Life have got its ups and downs again at recent. I think this is how my life is.
Was kinda down last week, my friend departed to God. After reading his news and stories told by his mom, it saddens me more. Why do God want to take such good person off so soon? I went back to Seremban, looked at the pictures we took together. Maybe its real that God takes people off because HE love that person so much more than anyone of us do. What say you?
Incidents after incidents. Lives after lives, Leaving. I tend to seriously appreciate those around me. I seriously do not know what will happen next. Life is so fragile. Its really fragile that it can be just gone in a second. Last week's CSS gathering was a good one. The theme was, "Listening to God's Voice". I always have this problem in identifying, is it God that have spoken to me or was it my own imagination? Dr Cecilia came as the speaker that day. And its been a while ever since she came to CSS to join us in this Family. But somehow, what she said really make alot of senses to me. We were asked to share and no one really did because, I supposed cox they have not met Dr Cecilia before so they may feel stranger towards her. Anyway, I took the opportunity to share my experience.
And, till then I got to know. The month of June was the moment that God stirred my life like "Chao Kuey Teow" just to make me close to HIM. Which I personally felt so too. Cox, that was the very moment that I speak to God every night. Even when I was in my shower. I cried and scolded HIM like a real person. Dr Cecilia then said, "It is not wrong to be angry at God sometimes."
She then added, "God uses different ways to attract or catch people's attention." So, God decided to use the "Stir Fry Method" on me. Don't you think God also have a sense of humor? That was quoted by Sophia Ngiaw in one of my post.
I broke down in tears again on Sunday. I do not know why but I also cried during the sharing in Discipleship Class. I felt, I'm no longer me. I used to be caring, understanding. But now, I felt like I've lost the sense of myself. When I reached home. I felt so heavy once more. I have worries again that time. I wished the bible could talk to me again that time but it did not. I thought God hinted me on the GrapeVineyard story but nothing. Or was it me that do not understand what was written in the scripture?
I misses home so much that time. Funny thing was, I just got back from Seremban that noon. Yaikx. Weird right? Anyway, plus maybe cox Mummy was sick and am kinda worried of her health. I was supposed to attend Vanessa's convo and also to help out in the CSS Flower Sale. But I'll be going back this weekend. Its been 3 years joining the convo flower sale. But this time around, am not able to join them. However, I have full faith on my juniors that they are so gonna fine in handling the sale. They are experts in fundraisings already. :)
We visited the orphanage last Sunday. Looking at their rooms, their home. Just one word came across my mind, Appreciate. The kids were all well trained. They are all well mannered. Its my 3rd time to them orphanage. But this is the one time that I got to know so much bout the Home. How they were funded? What are their activities? Where are they from? Why are they here?
I called Han Ping again yesterday. I think this will be the last time of me calling him before he goes to his grandma's house on Friday. I asked him if he knows who was on the line. He said "Emily Jie Jie" The way he spoke to me is like, he is my brother. Those kinda feeling. He heard me coughing, he asked "You still not well? Take medicine." Well, thoughtful of him. He kept asking me to go visit him. And, I've made my promises to go after their school holidays. One more thing, I asked him if he have done packing all his things to his grandma's house. He said "Yup, you guess how many pieces of clothes do I have?" I said "15?". He answered, "Nope, not so many. 5 shirts and 5 pants. So I've finish packing all into one bag." Deep down in my heart, I felt bad. But all I said was "Okay ar, can fit all into one bag. Somemore can finish packing so fast!" :) I did not want him to know what I felt. :)
Bout work? We have switch workstation already. Now sitting very near to my seniors. Good in a way that, I can ask things easily, I can clarify things easily. Most important thing is, I got to understand better. Either on their job or my job. Maybe God is helping me out with this. I began to understand their stress once more when their threw their frustration at me again. Learning to leave work behind. Not bringing that kinda work emotions back to my home. After work, after 5.15pm, no more work-thinking. Unless if there is OT then tak sama story already lor. :)
Bout him, Preslly. Things have been very good with him. In fact, we are more into each other. :) Its been 2 months that we were together. Can you imagine how time flies? Yes? I can't imagine. LOL! He is now working at Lahad Datu. Hurmp. Working on something not everyone else will do. But, I seriously salute him. He sleeps early these days. Knowing that he is tired. And if its me, I could not afford to work like that. He have always being him. Jokes with me, makes me laugh.
10/11/11 was the day that he could remember so much. Simply because, I was angry at him. Threw him my temper pulak. And he have been telling me that the past days, "10/11/11, hari tu arrr. Ada orang marah dgn saya eh~ Tak tahu siapa eh??" I know I felt bad that time. Because, I have got my headache, thinking of my financial status, worst still brought my work worries back. See how this hurts when I bring my stress along with me? Hahaha! Anyway, thank goodness that he understands much bout me.
Just to say, am glad to be who I am now. I'm glad with the situation that am in now. Although I do cry as much. But, thank God! I am who I am today!
Was kinda down last week, my friend departed to God. After reading his news and stories told by his mom, it saddens me more. Why do God want to take such good person off so soon? I went back to Seremban, looked at the pictures we took together. Maybe its real that God takes people off because HE love that person so much more than anyone of us do. What say you?
Incidents after incidents. Lives after lives, Leaving. I tend to seriously appreciate those around me. I seriously do not know what will happen next. Life is so fragile. Its really fragile that it can be just gone in a second. Last week's CSS gathering was a good one. The theme was, "Listening to God's Voice". I always have this problem in identifying, is it God that have spoken to me or was it my own imagination? Dr Cecilia came as the speaker that day. And its been a while ever since she came to CSS to join us in this Family. But somehow, what she said really make alot of senses to me. We were asked to share and no one really did because, I supposed cox they have not met Dr Cecilia before so they may feel stranger towards her. Anyway, I took the opportunity to share my experience.
And, till then I got to know. The month of June was the moment that God stirred my life like "Chao Kuey Teow" just to make me close to HIM. Which I personally felt so too. Cox, that was the very moment that I speak to God every night. Even when I was in my shower. I cried and scolded HIM like a real person. Dr Cecilia then said, "It is not wrong to be angry at God sometimes."
She then added, "God uses different ways to attract or catch people's attention." So, God decided to use the "Stir Fry Method" on me. Don't you think God also have a sense of humor? That was quoted by Sophia Ngiaw in one of my post.
I broke down in tears again on Sunday. I do not know why but I also cried during the sharing in Discipleship Class. I felt, I'm no longer me. I used to be caring, understanding. But now, I felt like I've lost the sense of myself. When I reached home. I felt so heavy once more. I have worries again that time. I wished the bible could talk to me again that time but it did not. I thought God hinted me on the GrapeVineyard story but nothing. Or was it me that do not understand what was written in the scripture?
I misses home so much that time. Funny thing was, I just got back from Seremban that noon. Yaikx. Weird right? Anyway, plus maybe cox Mummy was sick and am kinda worried of her health. I was supposed to attend Vanessa's convo and also to help out in the CSS Flower Sale. But I'll be going back this weekend. Its been 3 years joining the convo flower sale. But this time around, am not able to join them. However, I have full faith on my juniors that they are so gonna fine in handling the sale. They are experts in fundraisings already. :)
We visited the orphanage last Sunday. Looking at their rooms, their home. Just one word came across my mind, Appreciate. The kids were all well trained. They are all well mannered. Its my 3rd time to them orphanage. But this is the one time that I got to know so much bout the Home. How they were funded? What are their activities? Where are they from? Why are they here?
I called Han Ping again yesterday. I think this will be the last time of me calling him before he goes to his grandma's house on Friday. I asked him if he knows who was on the line. He said "Emily Jie Jie" The way he spoke to me is like, he is my brother. Those kinda feeling. He heard me coughing, he asked "You still not well? Take medicine." Well, thoughtful of him. He kept asking me to go visit him. And, I've made my promises to go after their school holidays. One more thing, I asked him if he have done packing all his things to his grandma's house. He said "Yup, you guess how many pieces of clothes do I have?" I said "15?". He answered, "Nope, not so many. 5 shirts and 5 pants. So I've finish packing all into one bag." Deep down in my heart, I felt bad. But all I said was "Okay ar, can fit all into one bag. Somemore can finish packing so fast!" :) I did not want him to know what I felt. :)
Bout work? We have switch workstation already. Now sitting very near to my seniors. Good in a way that, I can ask things easily, I can clarify things easily. Most important thing is, I got to understand better. Either on their job or my job. Maybe God is helping me out with this. I began to understand their stress once more when their threw their frustration at me again. Learning to leave work behind. Not bringing that kinda work emotions back to my home. After work, after 5.15pm, no more work-thinking. Unless if there is OT then tak sama story already lor. :)
Bout him, Preslly. Things have been very good with him. In fact, we are more into each other. :) Its been 2 months that we were together. Can you imagine how time flies? Yes? I can't imagine. LOL! He is now working at Lahad Datu. Hurmp. Working on something not everyone else will do. But, I seriously salute him. He sleeps early these days. Knowing that he is tired. And if its me, I could not afford to work like that. He have always being him. Jokes with me, makes me laugh.
10/11/11 was the day that he could remember so much. Simply because, I was angry at him. Threw him my temper pulak. And he have been telling me that the past days, "10/11/11, hari tu arrr. Ada orang marah dgn saya eh~ Tak tahu siapa eh??" I know I felt bad that time. Because, I have got my headache, thinking of my financial status, worst still brought my work worries back. See how this hurts when I bring my stress along with me? Hahaha! Anyway, thank goodness that he understands much bout me.
Just to say, am glad to be who I am now. I'm glad with the situation that am in now. Although I do cry as much. But, thank God! I am who I am today!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
RIP, Adrian.
I was suddenly awaken in the middle of the night at 3am. Went on Fb for awhile. I saw Merlinda's post saying that Adrian Jay Pereira have been murdered. This is a so super shocking news. Adrian is our Catechism friend. I could still remember liking him so much when we were in the Confirmation Class together.
He was murdered because of defensing from the guy who wants to steal his bike. I had sleepless night till 4am. Thinking and remembering how he looked. Remembering how we worked together cleaning the church for our Confirmation activity.
Although its been a while that we meet each other. But he is a good friend indeed.
May his soul rest in peace. God Bless, Adrian.
He was murdered because of defensing from the guy who wants to steal his bike. I had sleepless night till 4am. Thinking and remembering how he looked. Remembering how we worked together cleaning the church for our Confirmation activity.
Although its been a while that we meet each other. But he is a good friend indeed.
May his soul rest in peace. God Bless, Adrian.
Being Alone.
Of a sudden, I felt so much like blogging but I do not have internet access now. So I decided to type it in the Microsoft Word 1st then post it up in my blogspot when I have the chance to do so. I do not know why but these days, I kinda enjoy being alone. Kinda enjoy the time, eating alone, listening to songs alone, walking here and there alone.
I do not know what this is due to but, I needed time for myself. Many things made me ponder about life. Especially when am alone, especially when am alone looking back at the pictures taken years ago.
Life has not been like a bed of roses lately. Have been frustrated over some stuff. Which also made me think whether to carry on or not. Ok, to make things clear again. Nothing to do with my relationship, ok? Well, I guess this is what life is all about. When something in life tend to be happy, sadness comes by. You agree?
My convocation is on the 17th of December 2011. This may be the last time of me wearing the mortar board and the last time taking pictures with my convocation gown. Am thinking whether or not to ask my dad to attend as well. Mum may not be happy if I ask him to attend. But then again, he did contribute to my education as well. Don’t you think he should attend? :)
Time flies, I was going thru the photo albums in my laptop just now. My previous convocation was in year 2009. Mummy was looking so young back then. Now, that I could see so much wrinkle on her face. Dad was looking so young back then too. Now that I can see the differences on his face. When will the time come that I can contribute back to them? I need to give myself a timeline. It cannot take too long for me to give my parents what they want. But what are the ways to it?
I was supposed to be at The Salvatorian Home last weekend. But my kid, Han Ping and I were sick. So, Sister Jane told me not to go this time but maybe the next round when they are back from their holidays. I knew I needed to talk to Han Ping so that he wouldn’t think that I lied to him saying that I will go but at the end I did not turn up.
I was worried that he will be upset with me saying that am not able to attend. But at the end, it was the other way round. He was just so understanding. I felt so nice talking to the kid over the phone. I somehow felt enlighten with this very special kid. He knew that am sick too. He asked me if I have a paper and pen. He wanted to spell something out for me. He says that, “I said this every morning when am awake from my bed. And I got well.” At the end, he spelled me “MARANATHA”. It meant, “Jesus, please come to me.”
He added saying, “No matter what religion you are, you can say this. You will get well very soon.” Maybe this seemed something usual to you, readers. But, I do not know how to describe the feeling again that he is such a special kid. He asked me, “I have a friend that ask me whether you’re my God Sister?” Then I asked, “Who is your friend?” He replied, “Next time when you come here, I will show him to you. So are you agreeing it?” I replied, “I will answer you some other time, alright?” He then said “Okay!”.
I did not know how should I answer, to be a Yes or No? So, I answered him that way. I know where my limitations are. I do not have financial ability to be his God Sister for the time being. I’m worry that I cannot commit myself to him for this time. I do not want to hurt him at the end of the day. Let things go on slowly. If there is a calling from God for me to take care of this kid, Han Ping. Yes, I will go according to HIS will. All I want to do now is that am able to contribute some to the society. Maybe, financially I can’t but, emotionally and physically, I can!
God, please prepare me the path to move on in life! Let me know what is best for me. And I will go according to Your will. Life is never an easy route to walk. But, with the help of God, my family, my sincere friends, soul mate and buddies, Life is not gonna be as hard. God, bring me close to you. I do not want to lose you again. Hold me close to you, God! Amen!
Written : 07/11/11 at 3.15pm
I do not know what this is due to but, I needed time for myself. Many things made me ponder about life. Especially when am alone, especially when am alone looking back at the pictures taken years ago.
Life has not been like a bed of roses lately. Have been frustrated over some stuff. Which also made me think whether to carry on or not. Ok, to make things clear again. Nothing to do with my relationship, ok? Well, I guess this is what life is all about. When something in life tend to be happy, sadness comes by. You agree?
My convocation is on the 17th of December 2011. This may be the last time of me wearing the mortar board and the last time taking pictures with my convocation gown. Am thinking whether or not to ask my dad to attend as well. Mum may not be happy if I ask him to attend. But then again, he did contribute to my education as well. Don’t you think he should attend? :)
Time flies, I was going thru the photo albums in my laptop just now. My previous convocation was in year 2009. Mummy was looking so young back then. Now, that I could see so much wrinkle on her face. Dad was looking so young back then too. Now that I can see the differences on his face. When will the time come that I can contribute back to them? I need to give myself a timeline. It cannot take too long for me to give my parents what they want. But what are the ways to it?
I was supposed to be at The Salvatorian Home last weekend. But my kid, Han Ping and I were sick. So, Sister Jane told me not to go this time but maybe the next round when they are back from their holidays. I knew I needed to talk to Han Ping so that he wouldn’t think that I lied to him saying that I will go but at the end I did not turn up.
I was worried that he will be upset with me saying that am not able to attend. But at the end, it was the other way round. He was just so understanding. I felt so nice talking to the kid over the phone. I somehow felt enlighten with this very special kid. He knew that am sick too. He asked me if I have a paper and pen. He wanted to spell something out for me. He says that, “I said this every morning when am awake from my bed. And I got well.” At the end, he spelled me “MARANATHA”. It meant, “Jesus, please come to me.”
He added saying, “No matter what religion you are, you can say this. You will get well very soon.” Maybe this seemed something usual to you, readers. But, I do not know how to describe the feeling again that he is such a special kid. He asked me, “I have a friend that ask me whether you’re my God Sister?” Then I asked, “Who is your friend?” He replied, “Next time when you come here, I will show him to you. So are you agreeing it?” I replied, “I will answer you some other time, alright?” He then said “Okay!”.
I did not know how should I answer, to be a Yes or No? So, I answered him that way. I know where my limitations are. I do not have financial ability to be his God Sister for the time being. I’m worry that I cannot commit myself to him for this time. I do not want to hurt him at the end of the day. Let things go on slowly. If there is a calling from God for me to take care of this kid, Han Ping. Yes, I will go according to HIS will. All I want to do now is that am able to contribute some to the society. Maybe, financially I can’t but, emotionally and physically, I can!
God, please prepare me the path to move on in life! Let me know what is best for me. And I will go according to Your will. Life is never an easy route to walk. But, with the help of God, my family, my sincere friends, soul mate and buddies, Life is not gonna be as hard. God, bring me close to you. I do not want to lose you again. Hold me close to you, God! Amen!
Written : 07/11/11 at 3.15pm
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Contradiction, again?
It is today that I posted here again. I find life kinda unhappy these days. Now, ask me why? I do not know the answer either. Having him in my life somehow made me loved, cared and touched. The morning calls that he gave, makes my day. He encourages me early in the morning for a great day. Although, most of the time on phone calls, for the time being I could still bear with it.
I don't know if things happened too fast but that was what Julius told me yesterday.
Times that I tend to be unhappy at would be in the early noon. When am stuck at doing now or doing something but nothing. Wow! Contradicting right? I felt so. I found a web that could actually let me share my experiences. Which is the experienceproject.com .
I found this page quite interesting where, I may probably find people who have the same thinking with talking on their stuff. People can comment there. Its some sort like a blog page and people have the same topic to speak at.
For now, I'm feeling kinda uneasy. Not sure with what but, I'm still awaiting for.....
I don't know if things happened too fast but that was what Julius told me yesterday.
Times that I tend to be unhappy at would be in the early noon. When am stuck at doing now or doing something but nothing. Wow! Contradicting right? I felt so. I found a web that could actually let me share my experiences. Which is the experienceproject.com .
I found this page quite interesting where, I may probably find people who have the same thinking with talking on their stuff. People can comment there. Its some sort like a blog page and people have the same topic to speak at.
For now, I'm feeling kinda uneasy. Not sure with what but, I'm still awaiting for.....
Friday, October 21, 2011
Awaiting.
Its been a week again that am away from my blog. I do not know how to start bout writing. I have a lot of thinkings these days. Are these thinkings even necessary? I somehow felt Life is not an easy word anymore. There is so much, so much to bear with. I wonder if others have the same thoughts as me or is it just me thinking too much?
Tummy have not been too well these days. Slight diarrhea here and there. I feel weak of a sudden. I feel like vomiting. Is it due to the food consumed? Is it due to the emotions that I have now? Its got nothing to do with the relationship that am in. Things seemed to be fine with the relationship. :) Thank God!
I have been questioning myself, do I deserve to be happy? What's with chasing after something but we all know all are not permanent? What do I have such thoughts? I sounded so unhappy here in this post right? Which I do feel the unhappiness now. And, I do not know why I felt so. Contradicting right?
I'm waiting for the 4 months to pass, its gonna be the end of my contract after 4 months, we'll be meeting up again after 4 months. I'm waiting for the 4th of November to come. Cox I'll be going to the Salvatorian Home. I'm looking for ways to make myself happy with Life.
I hate it when this happens, I do things without a reason. I do not like to do things blindly. When I do things blindly, I do things heartlessly.
Till then, please pray for me. Amen!
Tummy have not been too well these days. Slight diarrhea here and there. I feel weak of a sudden. I feel like vomiting. Is it due to the food consumed? Is it due to the emotions that I have now? Its got nothing to do with the relationship that am in. Things seemed to be fine with the relationship. :) Thank God!
I have been questioning myself, do I deserve to be happy? What's with chasing after something but we all know all are not permanent? What do I have such thoughts? I sounded so unhappy here in this post right? Which I do feel the unhappiness now. And, I do not know why I felt so. Contradicting right?
I'm waiting for the 4 months to pass, its gonna be the end of my contract after 4 months, we'll be meeting up again after 4 months. I'm waiting for the 4th of November to come. Cox I'll be going to the Salvatorian Home. I'm looking for ways to make myself happy with Life.
I hate it when this happens, I do things without a reason. I do not like to do things blindly. When I do things blindly, I do things heartlessly.
Till then, please pray for me. Amen!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
BreakAway~
It was another break away.
Life have been hectic. And, the meet up with Pipi was a good one. :) Got to know him a little bit more. Got to understand him a little bit more.
During the days, Kath and I didn't really chatted much but somehow. She enligthened me with some thoughts. At my age, I should dare to try out things. As in, work larrr~ LOL! Don't think wrongly k? :D Looking back at what am doing daily. Looking forward in the future. How is my future gonna be like? I wonder. We need to be happy in life right? :) How to be happy?
What I have in mind to be happy is to spread more love to others. I will be going to Malacca in November to meet the kid. :) Plan to spend some time off there with the kids. Till then.
Life have been hectic. And, the meet up with Pipi was a good one. :) Got to know him a little bit more. Got to understand him a little bit more.
During the days, Kath and I didn't really chatted much but somehow. She enligthened me with some thoughts. At my age, I should dare to try out things. As in, work larrr~ LOL! Don't think wrongly k? :D Looking back at what am doing daily. Looking forward in the future. How is my future gonna be like? I wonder. We need to be happy in life right? :) How to be happy?
What I have in mind to be happy is to spread more love to others. I will be going to Malacca in November to meet the kid. :) Plan to spend some time off there with the kids. Till then.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thoughts These Days...
Its been awhile again where I blogged here. I have been busy with work most of the time. Work load have added. Working overtime the past days. Have been tired.
But, somehow again, there so much things to ponder on life again. I've working hard. I've been getting scolding here and there. For not remembering what I have done. Yes, I cried in the office again. But all these are just the process of growing. I'm trying to be as positive as I could to get thru all that am struggling with.
But the soulmate of mine. I do not know what perception others will have unto him. But, for the time being, I'm just knowing where my limits are. Maybe to many this really do not make sense. Such a short period of time knowing each other. And, we're together. Looking back at the past. Many were in love, many were out of love. What is the definition of love actually? I really do not know. He even asked me that question "Apa itu Cinta?"
I din know how to answer. Maybe it was me that needed extra cares? Its a selfish way to think that way. Right? I do not know. But somehow, he is a caring person. He remembers every single thing that were said. I could still remember how he spoke to me on the phone when I told him I had gastric that time. I do not know if these could be used to evaluate but, am praying to GOD everything falls into place.
Last week, I attended the CSS Annual Camp for the 4th time. Was my second time as a participant. I was so touched, so glad to see the results! I am so proud of my juniors, the Excos that made the CSS dream came true! Praise the LORD! Its been 4 years, wanting to make things happen. Thanks to all seniors also that was hard to us in building the foundation of CSS! CSS is how it is today, not because of me, but ALL!
I seriously love this camp because it was a whole different experience from the past. We were brought to the beach to play with the kids. They are not really orphans but they were kids that were lacking much on love. I was waiting so excitedly to know who will be the kid that am gonna be taking care of. I was hoping that the kid will be at younger aged. You know smaller kids are more fun to play with. But, I was assigned to a kid named Han Ping.
He is a kid with only one eye sight, he do not have 100% vision on the other eye. He ran out from home at the age of 10 because he was tortured so badly by his parents. I was worried while walking to the beach. Who will this kid turn out to be? How will he look like? Is he a rebellious kid? Many were in my thoughts but, somehow was a bit relaxed when Andrew and I started singing along the way. :)
At first, he stick to Mervin very much. He din wanna talk to me much. I assume he was shy that time. I kept disturbing him in the water. Kept tickling him. He ended up calling me "Sha Yu", that meant, Shark! LOL! I didn't know that was love towards the kid until during reflection that I cried. The image of him smilling kept appearing in my mind. He is a role model to me as, he is strong, he is courages, he is optimistic. Although, his parents never came to see him eversince he ran out from home. But he never blames.
I called him just now at the home, Sister Jane told him that I called, when he answered the call. He called me Sha Yu, Emily Jie Jie. That was the so so touching moment that I felt. I eventually cried. Then made Sister Jane and Han Ping cried too. I will go there again to meet him. Cox I really hope that I can give him love. Amen!
But, somehow again, there so much things to ponder on life again. I've working hard. I've been getting scolding here and there. For not remembering what I have done. Yes, I cried in the office again. But all these are just the process of growing. I'm trying to be as positive as I could to get thru all that am struggling with.
But the soulmate of mine. I do not know what perception others will have unto him. But, for the time being, I'm just knowing where my limits are. Maybe to many this really do not make sense. Such a short period of time knowing each other. And, we're together. Looking back at the past. Many were in love, many were out of love. What is the definition of love actually? I really do not know. He even asked me that question "Apa itu Cinta?"
I din know how to answer. Maybe it was me that needed extra cares? Its a selfish way to think that way. Right? I do not know. But somehow, he is a caring person. He remembers every single thing that were said. I could still remember how he spoke to me on the phone when I told him I had gastric that time. I do not know if these could be used to evaluate but, am praying to GOD everything falls into place.
Last week, I attended the CSS Annual Camp for the 4th time. Was my second time as a participant. I was so touched, so glad to see the results! I am so proud of my juniors, the Excos that made the CSS dream came true! Praise the LORD! Its been 4 years, wanting to make things happen. Thanks to all seniors also that was hard to us in building the foundation of CSS! CSS is how it is today, not because of me, but ALL!
I seriously love this camp because it was a whole different experience from the past. We were brought to the beach to play with the kids. They are not really orphans but they were kids that were lacking much on love. I was waiting so excitedly to know who will be the kid that am gonna be taking care of. I was hoping that the kid will be at younger aged. You know smaller kids are more fun to play with. But, I was assigned to a kid named Han Ping.
He is a kid with only one eye sight, he do not have 100% vision on the other eye. He ran out from home at the age of 10 because he was tortured so badly by his parents. I was worried while walking to the beach. Who will this kid turn out to be? How will he look like? Is he a rebellious kid? Many were in my thoughts but, somehow was a bit relaxed when Andrew and I started singing along the way. :)
At first, he stick to Mervin very much. He din wanna talk to me much. I assume he was shy that time. I kept disturbing him in the water. Kept tickling him. He ended up calling me "Sha Yu", that meant, Shark! LOL! I didn't know that was love towards the kid until during reflection that I cried. The image of him smilling kept appearing in my mind. He is a role model to me as, he is strong, he is courages, he is optimistic. Although, his parents never came to see him eversince he ran out from home. But he never blames.
I called him just now at the home, Sister Jane told him that I called, when he answered the call. He called me Sha Yu, Emily Jie Jie. That was the so so touching moment that I felt. I eventually cried. Then made Sister Jane and Han Ping cried too. I will go there again to meet him. Cox I really hope that I can give him love. Amen!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thinking the Thoughts of Life~
How have your life been recently? Yup. You need to answer my question. LOL! Anyway, many things came across my mind, my life. Things that I never really thought of previously, actually happens now. :)
Well, let's speak about my family 1st. Matters at home home have not been very chaotic tho. Just slight quarrel here and there. But, after that all was fine. :) But somehow, you know me right? I cried again lar. Somemore what? And, now Mangga Busuk and Kathleen calls me Emoly. But one thing, if only mum knows why was I crying that time, so that she won't think of other stuff as ''Why is she crying again?"
Know what? Sometimes, I really I hope that things will be better off after some quarrel tho. :) And somehow, it did alittle.
Work? Work is getting more and more challenging. Not bout more or lesser work but more to responsibilities. Sometimes, kinda pissed with myself when things are not done as others expects. How to say this? Nevermind, I do not know how to describe but I will hang on with what am going thru now with a smile. :)
Love? Ya, am in a relationship with him. Hopefully everything will go on fine. He understands me although we only speaks thru the phone these while. But, he is also an emo person which I need to take off things that I say. :) Another thing is to learn to trust. Trust somehow is a very big word for me as, maybe I see many happenings around me. Love is not always a bed of roses too. :) Anyway, learn to trust and learn to love.
Bout myself at recent, have been saving alot on spending. Monitoring my spending very carefully. Salary is really cukup-cukup. Cannot spend a bit extra pun. :) Well, looking at the very bright side, I'm learning a Financial Control myself without needing to go to the Financial Consultant. :) Cool right?
Well, let's speak about my family 1st. Matters at home home have not been very chaotic tho. Just slight quarrel here and there. But, after that all was fine. :) But somehow, you know me right? I cried again lar. Somemore what? And, now Mangga Busuk and Kathleen calls me Emoly. But one thing, if only mum knows why was I crying that time, so that she won't think of other stuff as ''Why is she crying again?"
Know what? Sometimes, I really I hope that things will be better off after some quarrel tho. :) And somehow, it did alittle.
Work? Work is getting more and more challenging. Not bout more or lesser work but more to responsibilities. Sometimes, kinda pissed with myself when things are not done as others expects. How to say this? Nevermind, I do not know how to describe but I will hang on with what am going thru now with a smile. :)
Love? Ya, am in a relationship with him. Hopefully everything will go on fine. He understands me although we only speaks thru the phone these while. But, he is also an emo person which I need to take off things that I say. :) Another thing is to learn to trust. Trust somehow is a very big word for me as, maybe I see many happenings around me. Love is not always a bed of roses too. :) Anyway, learn to trust and learn to love.
Bout myself at recent, have been saving alot on spending. Monitoring my spending very carefully. Salary is really cukup-cukup. Cannot spend a bit extra pun. :) Well, looking at the very bright side, I'm learning a Financial Control myself without needing to go to the Financial Consultant. :) Cool right?
Friday, September 16, 2011
My Thoughts For Now...~
Its really been a long time ever since I blogged here. Normally, its like a week to abandon my blog then I will be back here to post again. But somehow, I didn't even have the time to blog about my experience in Redang with Kathleen and Rachel, what more to upload the pictures as I have promised?
Well, for now, I do not have much mood to blog bout Redang but in fact my feelings for the past weeks when am back from the island.
Here is how it goes. Life button have been reset when we were at the island. I was kinda happy or to be exact, very happy when I was back cox, I made kinda lotsa frens there. Somehow, have admirers pulak. Funny right? Well simply because this never happened to me before so it was kinda hard to believe that actually got people like me ar? LOL! I wonder if you understand that kind of feelings. :)
Then somemore got 2 person admire pulak. That is like more funny right? But somehow, one was a indian-muslim and the other one is a Sabahan Catholic. So guess what? LOL! Dunno how to tell but religion is now my priority.
I have accepted him. Would not wanna say more on the stages on how things fell into place but, he is somehow a caring person. Although we are like far apart but we still feel near. Well, am not judging anything for the time being bcox all these are just the start. :) Not many knew bout this yet. Not even Css nor buddies but Kath and Rachel, yup they knew bout it already.
Final word, I still couldn't get over the past although its like 6 yrs back. The ever back bad experience is still hunting me down. I know if I don't get this over, it will nt be fair to him. No matter how he is or how he will be, I will still put my trust in him. :) I know GOD planned this. :D
Better said is that am accepting what is given, am appreciating those around me as am given the chance now. Till then readers. Will be uploading the picx in Redang soon.
Chiaox! ^^
Well, for now, I do not have much mood to blog bout Redang but in fact my feelings for the past weeks when am back from the island.
Here is how it goes. Life button have been reset when we were at the island. I was kinda happy or to be exact, very happy when I was back cox, I made kinda lotsa frens there. Somehow, have admirers pulak. Funny right? Well simply because this never happened to me before so it was kinda hard to believe that actually got people like me ar? LOL! I wonder if you understand that kind of feelings. :)
Then somemore got 2 person admire pulak. That is like more funny right? But somehow, one was a indian-muslim and the other one is a Sabahan Catholic. So guess what? LOL! Dunno how to tell but religion is now my priority.
I have accepted him. Would not wanna say more on the stages on how things fell into place but, he is somehow a caring person. Although we are like far apart but we still feel near. Well, am not judging anything for the time being bcox all these are just the start. :) Not many knew bout this yet. Not even Css nor buddies but Kath and Rachel, yup they knew bout it already.
Final word, I still couldn't get over the past although its like 6 yrs back. The ever back bad experience is still hunting me down. I know if I don't get this over, it will nt be fair to him. No matter how he is or how he will be, I will still put my trust in him. :) I know GOD planned this. :D
Better said is that am accepting what is given, am appreciating those around me as am given the chance now. Till then readers. Will be uploading the picx in Redang soon.
Chiaox! ^^
Monday, August 29, 2011
A Few Teaser.
Its been awhile since I upload pictures here in my bloggy blog. A few teaser before I upload the picx when am back from Redang. :)
This is the current me. Check it out.
Top 10 Agent Dinner @ Arthur's Bar with My Superiors
M3*Rachel*Mr David(Regional Manager)*Kathleen(Travel Manager)
Her name is Aurora, one of the Choir Singer from Indonesia.
Don't we look alike? ^^
Bryan & His Red Eggs (Fah Family's Tradition-Red Egg on Birthdays) :)
His dad made him-Cream Nose! XD
Cake cutting with his Dad~
I wonder what is he wishing for? More Toy Story Toys? :P
Ladies~
Xiao Heng & I
She wore my Fav Pooh!
Caught her to picx with me! LOL!
My Birthday Cakies from Kathleen, Rachel & Amelia. ^^
Yummy yum right? :D
Monday-Again. :D
Its Monday again.
At times, days passes by fast, days passes by slow. Have been hanging out with frens, buddies quite often these days. To avoid myself thinking too much.
Life is a serious journey that I'm learning how to walk the way. Frankly, its been a struggle for me ever since I started working? I felt that am on my own already. Of course there's always my family, friends, buddies there to count on.
I realise, all these are just the process of growing up. Once I again, if am able to get thru this all. Am gonna be cool after that. I believe all these are just gonna be for half a year. After paying off the debts, am gonna be a little not too struggling anymore. :)
Well, well. I went to the book fair with Stacey. And, it was our 1st girls' day out, just the both of us. We spent 6 hours there at the fair. And, we didn't know till that day, we like so many things in common. Cool isn't it? We love craft stuffs, fancy scissors, colour pens, colourful files, fancy punchers etc. And, I never expect that she love reading John Grisham's books. Those Detective, Crime books.
We sat down reading books. I caught one photography book and I ended up flipping thru the whole book from front till the back. And, I've got some ideas on ISO, Settings and stuff like that. Although mine is a basic camera, but its a much functions too. ^^
There's a book that I so wanna own, titled "Awaken Your Strongest Self". Knowing that sometimes, its not all books that you'll wanna pick. But this, when I picked it up. Read a few pages, its really speaking to me. :)
But somehow, my salary wasn't out yet that time so, no no money to buy the book. Aikx! Anyhow, maybe its still not time yet for me to own the book. Let's see if I have time to go there on Friday again. :) I'll pick the book up again. Probably own it? :D
Till then, will be heading over to Redang tonight. Gotta enjoy the days there and errrr. Take a break from the busy-ness and emo-ness. LOL! Alright. Awaits for the photos to be up here ya! Chiaox! ^^
At times, days passes by fast, days passes by slow. Have been hanging out with frens, buddies quite often these days. To avoid myself thinking too much.
Life is a serious journey that I'm learning how to walk the way. Frankly, its been a struggle for me ever since I started working? I felt that am on my own already. Of course there's always my family, friends, buddies there to count on.
I realise, all these are just the process of growing up. Once I again, if am able to get thru this all. Am gonna be cool after that. I believe all these are just gonna be for half a year. After paying off the debts, am gonna be a little not too struggling anymore. :)
Well, well. I went to the book fair with Stacey. And, it was our 1st girls' day out, just the both of us. We spent 6 hours there at the fair. And, we didn't know till that day, we like so many things in common. Cool isn't it? We love craft stuffs, fancy scissors, colour pens, colourful files, fancy punchers etc. And, I never expect that she love reading John Grisham's books. Those Detective, Crime books.
We sat down reading books. I caught one photography book and I ended up flipping thru the whole book from front till the back. And, I've got some ideas on ISO, Settings and stuff like that. Although mine is a basic camera, but its a much functions too. ^^
There's a book that I so wanna own, titled "Awaken Your Strongest Self". Knowing that sometimes, its not all books that you'll wanna pick. But this, when I picked it up. Read a few pages, its really speaking to me. :)
But somehow, my salary wasn't out yet that time so, no no money to buy the book. Aikx! Anyhow, maybe its still not time yet for me to own the book. Let's see if I have time to go there on Friday again. :) I'll pick the book up again. Probably own it? :D
Till then, will be heading over to Redang tonight. Gotta enjoy the days there and errrr. Take a break from the busy-ness and emo-ness. LOL! Alright. Awaits for the photos to be up here ya! Chiaox! ^^
Monday, August 22, 2011
Ya, Its Monday.
Had another short weekend over in Seremban. I was kinda reluctant to go back Seremban actually. Somehow, I do not wish to hear my mum speak on those things anymore. Went to meet up with Mangga Busuk and Jie. He said that he will be going back to Seremban. How cool is that?
Went back to Seremban. Mum did not speak anything bout it. Somehow, she told Mangga Busuk bout it. I heard the conversation but I did not join in nor go near them thru out the conversation. I heard mum cried alittle. But, I supposed she is much better now after Mangga Busuk spoke to her.
Well, life at work is getting a little bit more tougher. That's how life will be. :) First time attending the Direct Marketing Dept meeting today. And the figures are huge. I cannot lost count on the number of numbers. LOL!
Anyway, salary is still not out yet. Hurmp. Shall wait for it then. Erm. Till then!
Cheers all! ^^
Went back to Seremban. Mum did not speak anything bout it. Somehow, she told Mangga Busuk bout it. I heard the conversation but I did not join in nor go near them thru out the conversation. I heard mum cried alittle. But, I supposed she is much better now after Mangga Busuk spoke to her.
Well, life at work is getting a little bit more tougher. That's how life will be. :) First time attending the Direct Marketing Dept meeting today. And the figures are huge. I cannot lost count on the number of numbers. LOL!
Anyway, salary is still not out yet. Hurmp. Shall wait for it then. Erm. Till then!
Cheers all! ^^
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Lesser Time.
It was last night, where God really put me in test. Its been quite awhile I went STP-ing. I got an appointment yesday at PJ. And once I walked out from the office. The sky was as grey. The rain was as heavy. Thank God I have the red umbrella with me. Appointment is at 7.30pm. No choice but to continue walking to KLCC under the rain. It wasn't so bad to get wet because of the rain but the worst thing is, the rain and wind spoilt my headset. LOL!
I reached home around 10.30pm. Was a wholesome tiring night but, I know its gonna be a worth. All these were done for just one reason.
Somehow, I was sadden with Mom's conversation on the phone last night. I called her when I've reached home. She was asleep. But she still chatted with me awhile. Was all fine fine but till, of a sudden, she spoke bout Dad. Of a sudden scolding, saying bad stuff bout Dad. Now, I know that she does not feel good bout it. He is not taking care of the family. Although everyone are struggling at home taking care of the family. But we are still able to hold on to it for now.
Please give us some time to patch things up again. There's alot of things that are making her worry. I understand. And I know what am going thru and I remember what I have gone thru. Just some time.
Please do not worry of losing us because we will always be with you.
We LOVE YOU, Mummy!
I reached home around 10.30pm. Was a wholesome tiring night but, I know its gonna be a worth. All these were done for just one reason.
Somehow, I was sadden with Mom's conversation on the phone last night. I called her when I've reached home. She was asleep. But she still chatted with me awhile. Was all fine fine but till, of a sudden, she spoke bout Dad. Of a sudden scolding, saying bad stuff bout Dad. Now, I know that she does not feel good bout it. He is not taking care of the family. Although everyone are struggling at home taking care of the family. But we are still able to hold on to it for now.
Please give us some time to patch things up again. There's alot of things that are making her worry. I understand. And I know what am going thru and I remember what I have gone thru. Just some time.
Please do not worry of losing us because we will always be with you.
We LOVE YOU, Mummy!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Friends~
My friend called me last 2 days. Asking me if I wanna go to Bali next year. Well, maybe those who knows my story would know what will my answer would be. I admit, I do not join them much for trips.
I find it hard for them to understand why am I acting this way. Maybe, my priority now, is my family? How many would take that in as theirs? Fare to Bali is RM333 which I find it affordable BUT. For my situation now, I would rather bring my mum to PD or even just Malacca if I have the money.
I smsed ZS yesday, telling him why is it that am now going. He did not reply. Rachel and Mangga Busuk told me the same thing. If friends are friends, they will not let you go simply because you dun join them for trips. I do not wanna get him wrong. And I hope that am not wrong in guessing why he did not reply.
I'll be meeting Keng Looi later at PJ. I'll need to work harder for my future, family. Many of my friends are earning more than me now. Well, nothing to be unhappy with cox, I know where what it takes to bring me to where I wanna be/go. :)
Thank God that I'm in the business. Cox, I've learned and appreciate more about my family! All the best to me! ^^
I find it hard for them to understand why am I acting this way. Maybe, my priority now, is my family? How many would take that in as theirs? Fare to Bali is RM333 which I find it affordable BUT. For my situation now, I would rather bring my mum to PD or even just Malacca if I have the money.
I smsed ZS yesday, telling him why is it that am now going. He did not reply. Rachel and Mangga Busuk told me the same thing. If friends are friends, they will not let you go simply because you dun join them for trips. I do not wanna get him wrong. And I hope that am not wrong in guessing why he did not reply.
I'll be meeting Keng Looi later at PJ. I'll need to work harder for my future, family. Many of my friends are earning more than me now. Well, nothing to be unhappy with cox, I know where what it takes to bring me to where I wanna be/go. :)
Thank God that I'm in the business. Cox, I've learned and appreciate more about my family! All the best to me! ^^
Friday, August 12, 2011
Friday~
Know what? I'm truly excited when it comes to Friday. Meaning, its time to go back to my FA-MA-LY! ^^
I have been busy these days at work. Have moved over to Direct Marketing already. Hurmp. How's life over there? I would say still fine. Cox, I need to deal with figures. Opppsieee. I do not like dealing with figures. But, well. I will slowly fall in love with it. HA!
I've finally got my hair cut. I know its short. And, SHE said it doesn't suits me. Who cares? LOL! Right? At times, its not that I cannot take criticism but not so early in the morning. Right? Haiyo. Hair will grow larrr~ Even I am not use to it after the cut. But, eventually it will be fine larrr~ Haix! ^^
And, what else? YA! We are taking turns to be the Receptionist at 26th Floor each day for 2 weeks. Oh boy! Cox, the Recept' cabut ady. Dunno why but she resigned. To tell you, being a recept' is not an easy task! Its so stressful that I feel like Bang-Bang-Bang the Phone! LOL! People called, and they somehow thought that the person that answers knows every single thing in the company! HA!
Worst thing is that. There's no one to answer when I transfer the call. And. . . . The call bounce back to me again! Haix! 1 hour 15 mins passed like its 30 mins. Cox there's too many calls! Yaikx! Okay. . . So, hopefully I will turn out to be a multipurpose/multitask human at the end of the day! :D
I have been busy these days at work. Have moved over to Direct Marketing already. Hurmp. How's life over there? I would say still fine. Cox, I need to deal with figures. Opppsieee. I do not like dealing with figures. But, well. I will slowly fall in love with it. HA!
I've finally got my hair cut. I know its short. And, SHE said it doesn't suits me. Who cares? LOL! Right? At times, its not that I cannot take criticism but not so early in the morning. Right? Haiyo. Hair will grow larrr~ Even I am not use to it after the cut. But, eventually it will be fine larrr~ Haix! ^^
And, what else? YA! We are taking turns to be the Receptionist at 26th Floor each day for 2 weeks. Oh boy! Cox, the Recept' cabut ady. Dunno why but she resigned. To tell you, being a recept' is not an easy task! Its so stressful that I feel like Bang-Bang-Bang the Phone! LOL! People called, and they somehow thought that the person that answers knows every single thing in the company! HA!
Worst thing is that. There's no one to answer when I transfer the call. And. . . . The call bounce back to me again! Haix! 1 hour 15 mins passed like its 30 mins. Cox there's too many calls! Yaikx! Okay. . . So, hopefully I will turn out to be a multipurpose/multitask human at the end of the day! :D
Monday, August 8, 2011
UpdatesSSS...
Wanna say that. . . . . . . . . . . .
Life have gone better. Not sure what was the cause that I'm better now. But. . . . . .
I spent much much time at home. And, I managed to meet my buddies in Seremban! That's a BIG YAY~~!!
Although, we didn't go out lepak but most of the time were at home. We had fun talking much! That's what we are! PO-PEK-PO-PEK NON-STOP! :D Hahaha!
Hurmp. I ate so much in Seremban like I never ate before! LOL! Cox, its Mummy's cooking. Dad called on Friday night but somehow, I did not answer his call. Called him back on Saturday. I supposed, he wanted to meet up but. Then said, Wai Ko is busy then no meet up already.
He is sick. Due to the weather. Anyhow, hope he will get well soon! ^^
Another wake up call from April last night. Another restart button. :)
Till then! ^^
Life have gone better. Not sure what was the cause that I'm better now. But. . . . . .
I spent much much time at home. And, I managed to meet my buddies in Seremban! That's a BIG YAY~~!!
Although, we didn't go out lepak but most of the time were at home. We had fun talking much! That's what we are! PO-PEK-PO-PEK NON-STOP! :D Hahaha!
Hurmp. I ate so much in Seremban like I never ate before! LOL! Cox, its Mummy's cooking. Dad called on Friday night but somehow, I did not answer his call. Called him back on Saturday. I supposed, he wanted to meet up but. Then said, Wai Ko is busy then no meet up already.
He is sick. Due to the weather. Anyhow, hope he will get well soon! ^^
Another wake up call from April last night. Another restart button. :)
Till then! ^^
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Its a Yay! ^^
Its Thursday. Super fast time flies.
Fortunately, I'm feeling much more better now cox probably. Spoken to Father Michael, I felt better. He did not speak much to me but, somehow I felt some blessings from him? LOL!
I'm planning to go back tomoro. :) Hoping to spend more time at home. And. . . . . . .
The little red camera have arrived. Now, what Camera? Why Camera? Its actually, a customer bought a Water Filter from me in March and this camera is a promotional item which only cost RM49.90. So, my customer din want it. Dad says he wanna buy it! HA!
Now, I've got a basic camera to play with! Yay!
Fortunately, I'm feeling much more better now cox probably. Spoken to Father Michael, I felt better. He did not speak much to me but, somehow I felt some blessings from him? LOL!
I'm planning to go back tomoro. :) Hoping to spend more time at home. And. . . . . . .
The little red camera have arrived. Now, what Camera? Why Camera? Its actually, a customer bought a Water Filter from me in March and this camera is a promotional item which only cost RM49.90. So, my customer din want it. Dad says he wanna buy it! HA!
Now, I've got a basic camera to play with! Yay!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Miss~
Time flew extremely fast. Its been 3 months here at ACE Synergy. How's life here? Comsidered to be ups and downs tho. Ups are the hipe when everyone are so happy laughing here and there. Downs are when everyone are so tensed up doing their work, so stress over work. That's the nature of life, I suppose. Besides, of cause getting scolding. :) Well, I'm a person that can be easily hurt. Its time to learn to be tougher. Work is work, play is play. So do not mix things up. This is what Mangga Busuk told me also.
I'm considered to be a fortunate one cox, I'm well taken care of here. :) I made many friends here. And, gotta learn and understand people's character here.
Like said, 'Life will not be a bed of roses'. Human will not grow if they did not gone thru struggles and hardship. I used to be the very fortunate one at home. And now, I'm more fortunate simply because, I get to learn some very valuable lessons that others may not have the chance to learn. :) Fortunate me! Don't you think so?
I miss home more often these days. I misses alot of people at home. So are my Seremban frens that am also missing. Things happened so rapidly in lives these past months that I do not have the chance to hang out or even meet up with my buddies.
But once more, I'm the fortunate one again to own such understanding friends. They know and understand my condition. Thanks Friends!
Missing Mummy, Daddy, Bryan, Mangga Busuk, Wai Ko, Lissa Mama...
I'm considered to be a fortunate one cox, I'm well taken care of here. :) I made many friends here. And, gotta learn and understand people's character here.
Like said, 'Life will not be a bed of roses'. Human will not grow if they did not gone thru struggles and hardship. I used to be the very fortunate one at home. And now, I'm more fortunate simply because, I get to learn some very valuable lessons that others may not have the chance to learn. :) Fortunate me! Don't you think so?
I miss home more often these days. I misses alot of people at home. So are my Seremban frens that am also missing. Things happened so rapidly in lives these past months that I do not have the chance to hang out or even meet up with my buddies.
But once more, I'm the fortunate one again to own such understanding friends. They know and understand my condition. Thanks Friends!
Missing Mummy, Daddy, Bryan, Mangga Busuk, Wai Ko, Lissa Mama...
Friday, July 29, 2011
Discovering HIM!
I don't know why but I somehow feel that, there's something I couldn't get over. I'm not as happy or cheerful as how I was previously. Each time I smile, is that a fake one on my face? Each time when I laugh like crazy, am I really happy with am laughing over?
I'm given alot of chances, I'm just given alot. But why is it deep in me still hurt?
On Wednesday, I cried alone in the room. Its some sort of depression scene where lights were off, I could not see myself but I cried like a baby once more. I was feeling bad, truly bad. But, what was I feeling bad at? Of a sudden, I felt so alone. I smsed many but none replied. Not to blame but everyone have their own things to accomplish and do.
I msged Sophia, she is the one that I wanna meet. I walked to meet her. I cried, I laughed. We find that God do have the sense of humour too. We spoke alot about Jesus, about God, about faith, about CSS. And, I find this is the 1st time am talking so much about God!
Know what? At this point of the time, I could really feel his presence. But, the road that HE provided, is just too narrow to get thru. I have been crying out alot unto Him! I guess, he would also wanna say am a super cry baby!
Kathleen called, asked me how was I? Opps. But she heard me cry over the phone again. Got to know on my performance at work. Its dropping much. Its a good thing that she told me that day, or probably it wouldn't be a time to find out my mistakes.
Kath then sms me telling things that touched me much. Its really a blessing to have her and Rachel as my friend. These days, we did not converse much. I supposed its due to the busy-ness, stress, tension. Hopefully, things will be better off as time goes. Everyone in the office seemed to be all tensed. :)
I will be going for mass later with Sophia. Will be meeting Father Michael. There's some questions that I want to ask him. Is this a calling from God? Cox, at this moment I feel that he is holding me so close to Him.
Another thing, there's a friend. A friend that used to find me often the past days. But now, we are just cold to each other. What happened? No more finding for dinner. No more finding each other to talk. Hopefully, its another God's plan. And, if it is. I believe, He will patch things up again into a beautiful picture! :)
Till then. God Bless You, Me and Everybody! ^^
I'm given alot of chances, I'm just given alot. But why is it deep in me still hurt?
On Wednesday, I cried alone in the room. Its some sort of depression scene where lights were off, I could not see myself but I cried like a baby once more. I was feeling bad, truly bad. But, what was I feeling bad at? Of a sudden, I felt so alone. I smsed many but none replied. Not to blame but everyone have their own things to accomplish and do.
I msged Sophia, she is the one that I wanna meet. I walked to meet her. I cried, I laughed. We find that God do have the sense of humour too. We spoke alot about Jesus, about God, about faith, about CSS. And, I find this is the 1st time am talking so much about God!
Know what? At this point of the time, I could really feel his presence. But, the road that HE provided, is just too narrow to get thru. I have been crying out alot unto Him! I guess, he would also wanna say am a super cry baby!
Kathleen called, asked me how was I? Opps. But she heard me cry over the phone again. Got to know on my performance at work. Its dropping much. Its a good thing that she told me that day, or probably it wouldn't be a time to find out my mistakes.
Kath then sms me telling things that touched me much. Its really a blessing to have her and Rachel as my friend. These days, we did not converse much. I supposed its due to the busy-ness, stress, tension. Hopefully, things will be better off as time goes. Everyone in the office seemed to be all tensed. :)
I will be going for mass later with Sophia. Will be meeting Father Michael. There's some questions that I want to ask him. Is this a calling from God? Cox, at this moment I feel that he is holding me so close to Him.
Another thing, there's a friend. A friend that used to find me often the past days. But now, we are just cold to each other. What happened? No more finding for dinner. No more finding each other to talk. Hopefully, its another God's plan. And, if it is. I believe, He will patch things up again into a beautiful picture! :)
Till then. God Bless You, Me and Everybody! ^^
Monday, July 25, 2011
One after Another?
You know the saying, when bad stuff happens, somehow, it all happens one after another.
And all these incurs money! Hurmp. I've gotta fix my pressure cooker as it had fallen down to the ground due to 'gan cheong-ness'. I needa fix my phone. Oh no.
How could all these be handled?
And all these incurs money! Hurmp. I've gotta fix my pressure cooker as it had fallen down to the ground due to 'gan cheong-ness'. I needa fix my phone. Oh no.
How could all these be handled?
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Jonah~
You may wanna ask me, how have life been lately? You may not wanna beleive me if I say its awesome! Right?
I went back last Saturday, my colleague (Rachel) send me back to Seremban. Dad wanted to meet us all. But, I just do not know how to react when he said, he wanna see us.
Met him on Saturday, it was just not too cool controlling my tears. I did not want him to see me worry. He kept telling me that he will be fine staying outside. He will be able to take care of himself. Till then, I really feel, its really a good time for both to be separated for a moment. :)
No point forcing them to stay together when they have so much anger towards each other. Right? I was sad, I was angry with everyone including myself and God for all that happened. But now, I came to realised that all this happens for good. God is the creator and maker of heaven and earth. I have no surprise if HE is the one that created all this, even problems for me and my family. :)
We have completed the Old Testament last week's Discipleship Class. Although I did not complete my homework but, Jonah's story gave me a huge impact. I was so much like Jonah (besides, getting swallow by the Monster Fish lar~LOL!) In fact, Sophia and I have the same feelings and thoughts towards things that happened unto us.
Yesday, Sophia emailed me the Gospel of the day. And know what? God is just awesome! The Gospel is about Jonah again! Cool right? By all means, this cannot be a co-incident! LOL! She even sent me the reflection for the reading as well! The reflection is seriously good! ^^
This phrase caught my attention much "If God gave us everything we asked for at the same moment we ask for it, how would we become more mature in our faith?"
Many things happened lately, it was like a drama. I'm awaiting for the next episode. I have faith that its gonna be a happy ending!
*And, I wanna say. I appreciate those who lend me their shoulders to cry on, those who with me when I was so super down, thanks for all advises and opinions!*
I went back last Saturday, my colleague (Rachel) send me back to Seremban. Dad wanted to meet us all. But, I just do not know how to react when he said, he wanna see us.
Met him on Saturday, it was just not too cool controlling my tears. I did not want him to see me worry. He kept telling me that he will be fine staying outside. He will be able to take care of himself. Till then, I really feel, its really a good time for both to be separated for a moment. :)
No point forcing them to stay together when they have so much anger towards each other. Right? I was sad, I was angry with everyone including myself and God for all that happened. But now, I came to realised that all this happens for good. God is the creator and maker of heaven and earth. I have no surprise if HE is the one that created all this, even problems for me and my family. :)
We have completed the Old Testament last week's Discipleship Class. Although I did not complete my homework but, Jonah's story gave me a huge impact. I was so much like Jonah (besides, getting swallow by the Monster Fish lar~LOL!) In fact, Sophia and I have the same feelings and thoughts towards things that happened unto us.
Yesday, Sophia emailed me the Gospel of the day. And know what? God is just awesome! The Gospel is about Jonah again! Cool right? By all means, this cannot be a co-incident! LOL! She even sent me the reflection for the reading as well! The reflection is seriously good! ^^
This phrase caught my attention much "If God gave us everything we asked for at the same moment we ask for it, how would we become more mature in our faith?"
Many things happened lately, it was like a drama. I'm awaiting for the next episode. I have faith that its gonna be a happy ending!
*And, I wanna say. I appreciate those who lend me their shoulders to cry on, those who with me when I was so super down, thanks for all advises and opinions!*
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Hi World!
Hi World!
Life have not gone any better until last night. A big huge cry! And, today is just another to live. :)
I have so much negative thoughts again when I see my brother crying on the phone. And, Mum cried due to this matter. And everyone at home are just so disturbed. Lawrence went to meet Dad. Dad has gone thinner. Well, maybe everyone at home are just losing weight. :) Free Diet! :p
I just really hope things will be better off when time goes. I kept asking GOD, "Why again? I'm tired!". I didn't managed to share on the meditation during Disciple Class last night. It was just painful! I did not want to cry in front of them anymore.
I went back home! Cried like I never cried before. Listening to "We were the reason". The more I cried! Till, Big Papa(Julius) called. He knew I was in pain. Reached after15mins. Cried lagi~
Threw out all my sadness, my pain. All was fine after that. He started telling me his problems at home, CSS, and life. Eventually, I felt much better off. Chatted for more than 3 hours.
I prayed to Jesus at night. I asked him again "Why?" But he did not answer me tho. Maybe time will tell.
My life still goes on! No more pondering back at the past. Yes, I might cry! But, I told myself, "GO ON AFTER THE CRY! KICK SOME ASS!" . I've got more to accomplish! Cheers!
Life have not gone any better until last night. A big huge cry! And, today is just another to live. :)
I have so much negative thoughts again when I see my brother crying on the phone. And, Mum cried due to this matter. And everyone at home are just so disturbed. Lawrence went to meet Dad. Dad has gone thinner. Well, maybe everyone at home are just losing weight. :) Free Diet! :p
I just really hope things will be better off when time goes. I kept asking GOD, "Why again? I'm tired!". I didn't managed to share on the meditation during Disciple Class last night. It was just painful! I did not want to cry in front of them anymore.
I went back home! Cried like I never cried before. Listening to "We were the reason". The more I cried! Till, Big Papa(Julius) called. He knew I was in pain. Reached after15mins. Cried lagi~
Threw out all my sadness, my pain. All was fine after that. He started telling me his problems at home, CSS, and life. Eventually, I felt much better off. Chatted for more than 3 hours.
I prayed to Jesus at night. I asked him again "Why?" But he did not answer me tho. Maybe time will tell.
My life still goes on! No more pondering back at the past. Yes, I might cry! But, I told myself, "GO ON AFTER THE CRY! KICK SOME ASS!" . I've got more to accomplish! Cheers!
Monday, July 4, 2011
Its The Climb.
Considered to have a good weekend. The seminar was awesome! Many spoken were on family. Being around with my coach and leader is just great! April and Wee Chien were helping me out with my financial planning. And, answer is, there will be no savings. In fact, my account will be a negative every month.
I finally cut my hair yesterday. Patrick didn't want to cut it becos he said "I thought you want to let it grow and do rebonding?". Yes, that is what I really wanted but. I cannot use that money to do rebonding because I need the money for other things. Better of to just cut it first then let it grow when I have the ability to take care of it. Right? I do not know if this is a sacrifice. But, I know I'm learning to prioritize.
I could feel that Mom is not like how is used to be anymore. She don't sound happy when I call. Her reaction is not the same anymore. But anyhow, I know I need to stand up again after the Fall!
I finally cut my hair yesterday. Patrick didn't want to cut it becos he said "I thought you want to let it grow and do rebonding?". Yes, that is what I really wanted but. I cannot use that money to do rebonding because I need the money for other things. Better of to just cut it first then let it grow when I have the ability to take care of it. Right? I do not know if this is a sacrifice. But, I know I'm learning to prioritize.
I could feel that Mom is not like how is used to be anymore. She don't sound happy when I call. Her reaction is not the same anymore. But anyhow, I know I need to stand up again after the Fall!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Life.
Its been almost a month that I'm away from blogging. Curious of how my life was these days? I didn't even blogged bout my birthday. Lol!
Days have not been very pleasant. Many things happened. Birthday was celebrated. Kathleen celebrated my birthday for me. Jeremiah they all celebrated my birthday. Which is something I never thought of. On my birthday, I burst out in tears because of the problems faced and encountered. Then, I tend to think. Birthday is just another day of life. No big deal on that tho.
The next day, 22nd June 2011, Mr Amir came to tell me that am gonna continue working at ACE! Well, after all worries of job and unhappiness. Finally, there's a good news for me!
Till then, Mum told me that Dad is shifting all his things out. And he is really moving out from home. I kept thinking if it was because of me that he leaves home. While walking to KLCC, I kept thinking if I could sacrifice anything to bring my family back, I will! Even my life!
Till one wake up call from April, saying "Why so quiet these days?" I told her my problem. She said "Don't keep guessing! Call your brother and ask what happened!" Till then, I called. I found out the reason why is he leaving. Seriously, no one is right or wrong in the family. If to be judged, everyone is not right at their role. Everyone is right too. So how is it to be judged? Conclusion, nothing to be judged. :)
I've got many many advises from many many people. I ever tot of giving up on my life. Wei Quan said "If you ever give up in life, You will lose more than you lose now!" This is something, I did not thought of!
No matter what, I still need to carry on in life! Simply because, I have a big goal to accomplish is to bring my dad back home!
I have spoken to dad this noon. All that he said in phone is something I never heard of when he is in front of us. There are alot of things that he knows but all these while, I thought he will not know.
Again, I questioned GOD the past days, why are all these happening to me? One after another? I'm just human being which I can break down easily!
All these happens for a reason! Things that does not kill me makes me stronger! I need to go thru all these hardship to get to where I want to go! I cannot waste anymore time because, I want my Dad to be back to the Family!
Days have not been very pleasant. Many things happened. Birthday was celebrated. Kathleen celebrated my birthday for me. Jeremiah they all celebrated my birthday. Which is something I never thought of. On my birthday, I burst out in tears because of the problems faced and encountered. Then, I tend to think. Birthday is just another day of life. No big deal on that tho.
The next day, 22nd June 2011, Mr Amir came to tell me that am gonna continue working at ACE! Well, after all worries of job and unhappiness. Finally, there's a good news for me!
Till then, Mum told me that Dad is shifting all his things out. And he is really moving out from home. I kept thinking if it was because of me that he leaves home. While walking to KLCC, I kept thinking if I could sacrifice anything to bring my family back, I will! Even my life!
Till one wake up call from April, saying "Why so quiet these days?" I told her my problem. She said "Don't keep guessing! Call your brother and ask what happened!" Till then, I called. I found out the reason why is he leaving. Seriously, no one is right or wrong in the family. If to be judged, everyone is not right at their role. Everyone is right too. So how is it to be judged? Conclusion, nothing to be judged. :)
I've got many many advises from many many people. I ever tot of giving up on my life. Wei Quan said "If you ever give up in life, You will lose more than you lose now!" This is something, I did not thought of!
No matter what, I still need to carry on in life! Simply because, I have a big goal to accomplish is to bring my dad back home!
I have spoken to dad this noon. All that he said in phone is something I never heard of when he is in front of us. There are alot of things that he knows but all these while, I thought he will not know.
Again, I questioned GOD the past days, why are all these happening to me? One after another? I'm just human being which I can break down easily!
All these happens for a reason! Things that does not kill me makes me stronger! I need to go thru all these hardship to get to where I want to go! I cannot waste anymore time because, I want my Dad to be back to the Family!
Monday, June 6, 2011
New?
Finally shift room last night. Was a whole not so difficult but not too easy thing to do. Mummy's car is full of my stuff. We CANNOT take in more passengers. Thank GOD that I have a bunch of lovely juniors that were there to help me out.
The room wasn't a room that I really loved but, somehow, I dunno what attracted me towards the little hse and room. It is dirty. But, I want the room. Anyway, nvm. That are all the past tho. I have 2 new hsemates. 2 of them are guys and am the only girl there. :) Nothing to be proud about. But, how to make guys clean the hse, is something I need to be proud of! Tahaha!
Jane was kinda sad that I gotta leave their home. But, I felt, its time for me to have my own life back. I wanna be back living alone for a moment. Have my proper room and hse to stay. Well, things looked kinda good. I mean, my room looks nice, my work is bored!
Do not know what will happen if it continues like this. Let's hope for something good to happen tho. Moved in to the new house. There is a little issue on it. But, I chose to see than to just listen and hear. :)
Dunno but I hope its not a cursed that each time I rent a room or hse, there must be issues larr~ LOL!
Know what? Doing Amway is just not as hard as many people think. But of cox not as easy. Why? Cox, just now, my colleague (Lydia) and I walked to buy lunch. We suddenly chat bout oily food and there I go, managed to close her Artistry (Polishing Scrub and Cleansing Masque). LOL! All we gotta do is just share! :D
The room wasn't a room that I really loved but, somehow, I dunno what attracted me towards the little hse and room. It is dirty. But, I want the room. Anyway, nvm. That are all the past tho. I have 2 new hsemates. 2 of them are guys and am the only girl there. :) Nothing to be proud about. But, how to make guys clean the hse, is something I need to be proud of! Tahaha!
Jane was kinda sad that I gotta leave their home. But, I felt, its time for me to have my own life back. I wanna be back living alone for a moment. Have my proper room and hse to stay. Well, things looked kinda good. I mean, my room looks nice, my work is bored!
Do not know what will happen if it continues like this. Let's hope for something good to happen tho. Moved in to the new house. There is a little issue on it. But, I chose to see than to just listen and hear. :)
Dunno but I hope its not a cursed that each time I rent a room or hse, there must be issues larr~ LOL!
Know what? Doing Amway is just not as hard as many people think. But of cox not as easy. Why? Cox, just now, my colleague (Lydia) and I walked to buy lunch. We suddenly chat bout oily food and there I go, managed to close her Artistry (Polishing Scrub and Cleansing Masque). LOL! All we gotta do is just share! :D
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Thought!
I'm back in the office today. I'm starting to find difficulties attending, work.
I arrived at 8.10 this morning. Chewed 2 breads. Made a cup of Milo. Kathleen called my ext. Saying, "Emily, can you come over?". "Yokay!" I said. Then, she asked how am I. What happened? Are you feeling better now? She was caring tho. Went and helped her cut the Marble Swiss Role Cakie.
Sat down awhile. Surfing the net. Read Sophia's blog.
I could find someone that have the same common character as me. I have been pondering much these days. I'm angry, but I cannot be angry! I'm sad but I'm finding ways to look happy.
I always question GOD. Why do you want to let such things happen to me, us, my family and CSS?
I'm happy and glad with CSS' growth. GOD is just fair. HE gave CSS another test! Now, the members are just fine. But the committees' turn.
This does not affect others much but to Julius, its a HUGE! Could see his worries. Could see his disappointment. Every year, without fail, there are things that stop CSS from moving forward. But, when we put GOD larger than anything else. HE will guide us thru!
All these while, I have not learned to prioritize. All these while, I have cared so much for others till I've hurt myself. Maybe this is the time, Jesus and All Saints in Heaven says "Emily!LOVE YOURSELF!" LOL!
Seriously, I was kinda pissed off yesday when Mervin told me he needs to rush back. I knew its all cox, of Li Ean. But, then a thought. Its not wrong. Everyone have their ways of living. :)
I was brought to church to attend Daily Mass (how cool?lol!). During prayer, I asked GOD many many many questions. I told him, I'm TIRED! I'm SAD! But, what Fr. Rudy said during sermon really struck my heart! Who am I? What do I have in thought? Do I have a split personality?
People around me said that I think too much. But, what is too much? I do not know. :)
I love to ponder on alot of things. I love to think positively. I hope to live positively. I need to understand that life dun always be the way we want it to be.
By the way, am effing bored at work! HA! My Head of Department, Mr Amir Ghaffar is not in a good mood today. HA! I supposed is cox of the stress at work? Hurmp. Anyway, will be meeting the Loveliess tomoro! PP! Here we COMEEEE!! Yayyy!
I arrived at 8.10 this morning. Chewed 2 breads. Made a cup of Milo. Kathleen called my ext. Saying, "Emily, can you come over?". "Yokay!" I said. Then, she asked how am I. What happened? Are you feeling better now? She was caring tho. Went and helped her cut the Marble Swiss Role Cakie.
Sat down awhile. Surfing the net. Read Sophia's blog.
I could find someone that have the same common character as me. I have been pondering much these days. I'm angry, but I cannot be angry! I'm sad but I'm finding ways to look happy.
I always question GOD. Why do you want to let such things happen to me, us, my family and CSS?
I'm happy and glad with CSS' growth. GOD is just fair. HE gave CSS another test! Now, the members are just fine. But the committees' turn.
This does not affect others much but to Julius, its a HUGE! Could see his worries. Could see his disappointment. Every year, without fail, there are things that stop CSS from moving forward. But, when we put GOD larger than anything else. HE will guide us thru!
All these while, I have not learned to prioritize. All these while, I have cared so much for others till I've hurt myself. Maybe this is the time, Jesus and All Saints in Heaven says "Emily!LOVE YOURSELF!" LOL!
Seriously, I was kinda pissed off yesday when Mervin told me he needs to rush back. I knew its all cox, of Li Ean. But, then a thought. Its not wrong. Everyone have their ways of living. :)
I was brought to church to attend Daily Mass (how cool?lol!). During prayer, I asked GOD many many many questions. I told him, I'm TIRED! I'm SAD! But, what Fr. Rudy said during sermon really struck my heart! Who am I? What do I have in thought? Do I have a split personality?
People around me said that I think too much. But, what is too much? I do not know. :)
I love to ponder on alot of things. I love to think positively. I hope to live positively. I need to understand that life dun always be the way we want it to be.
By the way, am effing bored at work! HA! My Head of Department, Mr Amir Ghaffar is not in a good mood today. HA! I supposed is cox of the stress at work? Hurmp. Anyway, will be meeting the Loveliess tomoro! PP! Here we COMEEEE!! Yayyy!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Day~
I skipped work today~ Dunno why, but my whole body was aching plus blisters are all over my feet. I find it hard to get up from bed!
I ended up sleeping till 4pm. Thought of going lunch with Vanessa but, I ended up in bed.
I dunno what happened to myself these days. But, I somehow feel I'm not me? I have not been in good mood, I have been having bad tempered, I have been having jealousy.
Looking at people's UK picture. Nvm. There's just too many things that am worried with.
I will be shifting house this Sunday~ I have mixed feelings towards this. Maybe cox am getting used to being alone, like, going to work alone in the morning, coming back from work alone. I just needed more time to be alone these days.
I cannot really stand the noise. Anyway, just hope that things will be good and better once I moved in to the new room of mine!
A human being have many many roles to play. I thought of this before but now I'm realising it cox, its happening to me! :)
A role as a Daughter.
A role as a Niece.
A role as a Sister.
A role as a Senior.
A role as a Friend.
A role as an Employee.
A role as a Student.
A role as a Catholic.
A role as a Disciple.
I need to learn coping well with these roles in life~! Cheers!
I ended up sleeping till 4pm. Thought of going lunch with Vanessa but, I ended up in bed.
I dunno what happened to myself these days. But, I somehow feel I'm not me? I have not been in good mood, I have been having bad tempered, I have been having jealousy.
Looking at people's UK picture. Nvm. There's just too many things that am worried with.
I will be shifting house this Sunday~ I have mixed feelings towards this. Maybe cox am getting used to being alone, like, going to work alone in the morning, coming back from work alone. I just needed more time to be alone these days.
I cannot really stand the noise. Anyway, just hope that things will be good and better once I moved in to the new room of mine!
A human being have many many roles to play. I thought of this before but now I'm realising it cox, its happening to me! :)
A role as a Daughter.
A role as a Niece.
A role as a Sister.
A role as a Senior.
A role as a Friend.
A role as an Employee.
A role as a Student.
A role as a Catholic.
A role as a Disciple.
I need to learn coping well with these roles in life~! Cheers!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Frust!
What the furtttt~ I forgot my heels today~ I left it at home. I reached office. WTF? Where are my heels??
What was I thinking these days? Have not been having a clear mind. Dad wants me to pay him back. Situation at home supposed to be better already but Dad is gossiping to my aunty! They are just making my family up-side-down again! WTH??!!
I don't understand this. I thought all these are coming to an end already but, why are all these still happening? Maybe like what Julius said, "For others to be happy, you're willing to do anything. You do not care much bout yourself!" Well, what he said is not wrong.
Many things happened in life. This and that. After that happened, solved, another one comes again! I'm starting to get tired over life at times. But, I know I have the responsible to carry on living, I have the responsible for my family. No matter what, LIFE STILL GOES ON!
To many, this are like peanut problems faced. :) I just need time to get thru what am going thru.
I need to learn to do Financial Planning. All these while, I do time management but not Money Management. Was kinda hurt with what Dad wanted me to do, paying him back every month. I know cox, I've started working, I need to pay on my own. But the way of him dealing with this is like, "I do not have the responsibilities on you anymore!" What would you feel if you were treated this way? He wanted me to pay him back RM250 per month! Whatttttttttttt?? I can only afford to pay RM100 plus the alarm installment, RM50. Now, eat or don't eat, I'll need to pay him RM150! I'm left with RM 600 to survive! All the best to me!
This is the path that I have chosen. I know! These are the consequences that I need to bear! I know! But, pls dun hurt me like this! I know he dun wanna let me go UK and I did not insist to go! Sometimes, it just hurt so badly! If anyone could understand me?
What was I thinking these days? Have not been having a clear mind. Dad wants me to pay him back. Situation at home supposed to be better already but Dad is gossiping to my aunty! They are just making my family up-side-down again! WTH??!!
I don't understand this. I thought all these are coming to an end already but, why are all these still happening? Maybe like what Julius said, "For others to be happy, you're willing to do anything. You do not care much bout yourself!" Well, what he said is not wrong.
Many things happened in life. This and that. After that happened, solved, another one comes again! I'm starting to get tired over life at times. But, I know I have the responsible to carry on living, I have the responsible for my family. No matter what, LIFE STILL GOES ON!
To many, this are like peanut problems faced. :) I just need time to get thru what am going thru.
I need to learn to do Financial Planning. All these while, I do time management but not Money Management. Was kinda hurt with what Dad wanted me to do, paying him back every month. I know cox, I've started working, I need to pay on my own. But the way of him dealing with this is like, "I do not have the responsibilities on you anymore!" What would you feel if you were treated this way? He wanted me to pay him back RM250 per month! Whatttttttttttt?? I can only afford to pay RM100 plus the alarm installment, RM50. Now, eat or don't eat, I'll need to pay him RM150! I'm left with RM 600 to survive! All the best to me!
This is the path that I have chosen. I know! These are the consequences that I need to bear! I know! But, pls dun hurt me like this! I know he dun wanna let me go UK and I did not insist to go! Sometimes, it just hurt so badly! If anyone could understand me?
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Leader Leaving To UK~
No more SOS call to make when he is not around. Aikx! He is the one that I always call when I needed help in what-so-ever things~
He will be away for 3 months. Wuwu~
Right now, am at the office waiting for the time to pass cox there is nothing to be done here now. Sienx weiii~
Just wanna say, I'm gonna be missing Chong V while he is away although just for the 3 months~ :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Is it or is it not?
Hey People~ How's life?
I'm here again. I'm like, now you see, now you don't! LOL!
Anyway, was kinda busy these days. Hurmp. Sorry but the word BUSY always appears in my blog. I was hunting for room. I almost got cheated by the bloody errie smelly owner! HAHA!
As my previous post, I was desperate for a room simply because, there are alot of things that I wanna do for this moment. I then found one room. With air-con. But the rental is kinda expensive for me.Somehow, I'm made the house leader already. My Landlord sounded to be a good person tho but, I really hope my 1st impression towards him is right.
Was calculating my salary-expenses=little money? LOL! This is the way/road/path that I have chosen. It may be a struggle for me but, if am able to go thru this, I'm so so super cool! :)
Have been kinda 'pek chek' due to some stuff at my Wangsa home but, this is life eh? Give and take is very important tho. Till then I realised that, Julius said I've given too much. I then discover something scary in me. I need inner healing? Due to past hurts?
Had dinner with Mangga Busuk and Jie yesday. Had Shabu Shabu for the 1st time. The waitress was kinda funny when she talk. LOL! I've got a little cakie. And, I brought it to office for my tea-break later. :)
Rosary last night. 3 excos were at my home. Off a sudden, during the bible sharing. Jennifer and Xiao Heng threw out their frustration towards CSS. The meetings and the activity. I did not feel extremely bad cox I know this is just another challenge by GOD. They do not find it meaningful anymore being the excos. Well, I know I shouldn't be interefering this but, I may wanna help to motivate them and make them find the meaning again.
CSS cannot just fall like that. Julius have been working hard to keep everything in place. But, why? Why are they thinking that what Julius is doing is just too much?
I still stick to my principle, "To make others to change, first, change yourself!"
I'm here again. I'm like, now you see, now you don't! LOL!
Anyway, was kinda busy these days. Hurmp. Sorry but the word BUSY always appears in my blog. I was hunting for room. I almost got cheated by the bloody errie smelly owner! HAHA!
As my previous post, I was desperate for a room simply because, there are alot of things that I wanna do for this moment. I then found one room. With air-con. But the rental is kinda expensive for me.Somehow, I'm made the house leader already. My Landlord sounded to be a good person tho but, I really hope my 1st impression towards him is right.
Was calculating my salary-expenses=little money? LOL! This is the way/road/path that I have chosen. It may be a struggle for me but, if am able to go thru this, I'm so so super cool! :)
Have been kinda 'pek chek' due to some stuff at my Wangsa home but, this is life eh? Give and take is very important tho. Till then I realised that, Julius said I've given too much. I then discover something scary in me. I need inner healing? Due to past hurts?
Had dinner with Mangga Busuk and Jie yesday. Had Shabu Shabu for the 1st time. The waitress was kinda funny when she talk. LOL! I've got a little cakie. And, I brought it to office for my tea-break later. :)
Rosary last night. 3 excos were at my home. Off a sudden, during the bible sharing. Jennifer and Xiao Heng threw out their frustration towards CSS. The meetings and the activity. I did not feel extremely bad cox I know this is just another challenge by GOD. They do not find it meaningful anymore being the excos. Well, I know I shouldn't be interefering this but, I may wanna help to motivate them and make them find the meaning again.
CSS cannot just fall like that. Julius have been working hard to keep everything in place. But, why? Why are they thinking that what Julius is doing is just too much?
I still stick to my principle, "To make others to change, first, change yourself!"
Saturday, May 21, 2011
#Desperado?#
Days keep passing. Each time when I go to work, when I uses the Touch & Go Card. Looking at the days left. That is like a countdown for me. Salary will be out soon.
Kinda lot of things to think about. Am desperate for a room. Am desperate for money. Am I gonna be taken as permanent staff? But Kathleen seemed to be telling me alot of stuff. She is kinda involving me into the new projects. So what is it trying to tell me?
Have been searching for rooms like crazy! LOL! The very 1st thing I do before work starts. Browse the net, check if there is new notices on room for rent. Know what? Is like looking if the share is up or down! Kinda fun tho!
Wasn't really feeling good the past days. I need to seriously budget my money. Rental is seriously not cheap here for a room! Aikx! But,I still wanna stick back at Wangsa. April asked me 'Why always Wangsa?' . Maybe not many could understand why but this is where I grow. Its been 4 years here. I dunno if you understand the feeling. Nvm if you don't. LOL! XD Anyway, life still goes on tho.
Challenges have coming to me. Never stopped! I sometimes feel, OUT_OF_BREATH! Everything happens for a reason tho.
Like what Vanessa said, "God will not build mountain that you cannot climb."
Kinda lot of things to think about. Am desperate for a room. Am desperate for money. Am I gonna be taken as permanent staff? But Kathleen seemed to be telling me alot of stuff. She is kinda involving me into the new projects. So what is it trying to tell me?
Have been searching for rooms like crazy! LOL! The very 1st thing I do before work starts. Browse the net, check if there is new notices on room for rent. Know what? Is like looking if the share is up or down! Kinda fun tho!
Wasn't really feeling good the past days. I need to seriously budget my money. Rental is seriously not cheap here for a room! Aikx! But,I still wanna stick back at Wangsa. April asked me 'Why always Wangsa?' . Maybe not many could understand why but this is where I grow. Its been 4 years here. I dunno if you understand the feeling. Nvm if you don't. LOL! XD Anyway, life still goes on tho.
Challenges have coming to me. Never stopped! I sometimes feel, OUT_OF_BREATH! Everything happens for a reason tho.
Like what Vanessa said, "God will not build mountain that you cannot climb."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Decided!
I have already made up my mind to move out of the home. I'll start searching for home and will want to move out end of this month. This may be kinda rush for me but, I need to get things settled before they sign their contract end of this month.
The soul at my home have gone back to Jesus. She is now back to where she belongs. I will not wanna question anymore if this is true or not. Although, at times this may sound drama but this is really happening. If there's no story to tell then there won't be horror films on TV. This is just what am thinking tho.
I've got a mixed feeling and decision just now. I can hardly decide, something was just holding me back from things that am doing.
I broke down in tears because, I felt this life of mine. I felt there are like many challenges that am facing. Another part of me says, this is just the beginning of my real life! And so soon that you're complaining already? I'm a person that love to seek for advices. But the bad thing is, at the end, I ended up not knowing what to do and decide because I tend to get too much and many opinions.
I stopped crying for a moment, did some counsel with my Jeremiah and Chong V. Chong V will be flying off to U.K next Thursday. That is like so soon right? When he told me that just now, I kinda "bu she de" also larrr. But no choice tho. He needs to further his studies tho. Need to head to Klang for team briefing tonight.
After another round of crying. I realised that I have not been crying like that since, a month ago. So no harm crying tho! Ha!
Just now then I realised, many a times that I do not know how to decide. Maybe just like what Chong V says, I like to search for problems and not solutions. I like to "what if this, what if that?" Just now that I really believe, everything, EVERYTHING has got its solutions.
This situation at home, really made me see many many things! In fact, it brought many things to my life. All these while, Jesus let me see Divine Mercy but this time, I got the chance to pray the Divine Mercy. We all got a get together at home. And, I'm blessed to have CSS as one of my HOME! Thanks to the Big Papa, he had never fail in supporting me and give me ideas and suggestions to me.
I could feel so deeply on family love. The care for me. The worries they had on me. And, I feel so so so wrong bringing them worries.
Mangga Busuk, I know you'll be reading this. As a brother, I know you had maximum worries to me cox I am your sister. Even if this happens to Wai Ko, I know you'll definitely do the same. Cox you have always been there to love us much! As the youngest in the family, I know I have given much worries to You, Mum, Dad and everyone at home. Thanks for having a firm decision and advise to me this time. I have made up my mind. And, I'll seek a better condition to live and spend my life on! I was afraid with the situation when you came by just now. But I know you've got your reasons and I understand your reasons. I'm truly blessed and gifted to have you as my brother!
I'm trully blessed to be ME! Because, I'm surrounded with people that care and love me! Thank God that I'm me! Amen! :)
The soul at my home have gone back to Jesus. She is now back to where she belongs. I will not wanna question anymore if this is true or not. Although, at times this may sound drama but this is really happening. If there's no story to tell then there won't be horror films on TV. This is just what am thinking tho.
I've got a mixed feeling and decision just now. I can hardly decide, something was just holding me back from things that am doing.
I broke down in tears because, I felt this life of mine. I felt there are like many challenges that am facing. Another part of me says, this is just the beginning of my real life! And so soon that you're complaining already? I'm a person that love to seek for advices. But the bad thing is, at the end, I ended up not knowing what to do and decide because I tend to get too much and many opinions.
I stopped crying for a moment, did some counsel with my Jeremiah and Chong V. Chong V will be flying off to U.K next Thursday. That is like so soon right? When he told me that just now, I kinda "bu she de" also larrr. But no choice tho. He needs to further his studies tho. Need to head to Klang for team briefing tonight.
After another round of crying. I realised that I have not been crying like that since, a month ago. So no harm crying tho! Ha!
Just now then I realised, many a times that I do not know how to decide. Maybe just like what Chong V says, I like to search for problems and not solutions. I like to "what if this, what if that?" Just now that I really believe, everything, EVERYTHING has got its solutions.
This situation at home, really made me see many many things! In fact, it brought many things to my life. All these while, Jesus let me see Divine Mercy but this time, I got the chance to pray the Divine Mercy. We all got a get together at home. And, I'm blessed to have CSS as one of my HOME! Thanks to the Big Papa, he had never fail in supporting me and give me ideas and suggestions to me.
I could feel so deeply on family love. The care for me. The worries they had on me. And, I feel so so so wrong bringing them worries.
Mangga Busuk, I know you'll be reading this. As a brother, I know you had maximum worries to me cox I am your sister. Even if this happens to Wai Ko, I know you'll definitely do the same. Cox you have always been there to love us much! As the youngest in the family, I know I have given much worries to You, Mum, Dad and everyone at home. Thanks for having a firm decision and advise to me this time. I have made up my mind. And, I'll seek a better condition to live and spend my life on! I was afraid with the situation when you came by just now. But I know you've got your reasons and I understand your reasons. I'm truly blessed and gifted to have you as my brother!
I'm trully blessed to be ME! Because, I'm surrounded with people that care and love me! Thank God that I'm me! Amen! :)
Monday, May 16, 2011
How I Was~
I have been having erm, imsomnia for almost a month. I could sleep for 2 hours then, awake for 1 hour then off to bed again. So average, I only get 4 hours sleep per day~ Is this called imsomnia? Omg! I feel very very tired at work! I bought myself Double X. Some supplements for my body cox I simply know my situation now is seriously hurting my body. I don't know how long more I could hang on to this. Its simply tiring-mentally and also emotionally. Dang!
I hope I won't get crazy one day! LOL! I need to keep my work man!
This is basically how I was during the night! LOL! Haha!
But am no Orang Putih larr~
But am no Orang Putih larr~
So not 100% same situation~ XD
This is how I was at work! Walao~!
Tell you!
Simply no no no good ar! Darn!
Its Like A Drama~
Hurmp. I did not want to post the whole story last night cox I kinda feel the eriee-ness. :)
Just some updates, there is a soul at my Wangsa home. And, Julius' friend managed to identify her. Her name is Janet Chua Chui Leng. I know this might sound dramatic. And, even I myself, find it hard to believe at this point of time.
According to Julius' friend named, Amy, the soul have no evil purpose for she just needed alot of prayer and, there are things that she couldn't let go, that made her wonder around and can't rest in peace. I wonder is it cox we have been prayful and so it chose our home? There's shift everyday where, 2 person will come overnight at our house to accompany us. I somehow do feel scared tho. But, I can't be leaving things behind and run away right?
I have been having sleepless nights again. And I simply hate this word called "SLEEPLESS" night! Dang! Its just making me feel like zombie!
We are now searching for houses to move out. Found 2 houses but, I don't know. I'm the eldest in that house. I know I need to try to sort things out. Julius did spoke to us last night. Telling us to talk our heart out if there's any problem arises. And, I did it all last night.
We offer Divine Mercy prayer to the little soul almost everyday. We offer her a mass this coming Saturday. I dreamt of her last night. I couldn't see her face clearly but she told me that she do not harm. All she needs is just prayer.
Stacey and Sophia will be coming over tonight for a stay. Erm. I think that's bout it for now. Stay tune for more updates!
Have a great weekday people! No Monday's Blue! Cheers!
Just some updates, there is a soul at my Wangsa home. And, Julius' friend managed to identify her. Her name is Janet Chua Chui Leng. I know this might sound dramatic. And, even I myself, find it hard to believe at this point of time.
According to Julius' friend named, Amy, the soul have no evil purpose for she just needed alot of prayer and, there are things that she couldn't let go, that made her wonder around and can't rest in peace. I wonder is it cox we have been prayful and so it chose our home? There's shift everyday where, 2 person will come overnight at our house to accompany us. I somehow do feel scared tho. But, I can't be leaving things behind and run away right?
I have been having sleepless nights again. And I simply hate this word called "SLEEPLESS" night! Dang! Its just making me feel like zombie!
We are now searching for houses to move out. Found 2 houses but, I don't know. I'm the eldest in that house. I know I need to try to sort things out. Julius did spoke to us last night. Telling us to talk our heart out if there's any problem arises. And, I did it all last night.
We offer Divine Mercy prayer to the little soul almost everyday. We offer her a mass this coming Saturday. I dreamt of her last night. I couldn't see her face clearly but she told me that she do not harm. All she needs is just prayer.
Stacey and Sophia will be coming over tonight for a stay. Erm. I think that's bout it for now. Stay tune for more updates!
Have a great weekday people! No Monday's Blue! Cheers!
Is real~
For real. This is really happening at my home.
Just to post out my frustrations for a moment. Sometimes, I feel, we just need to have a little bit more of sense of responsibilities.
Anyhow, I just wish to get things settled as soon cox am kinda pissed out with things.
Just to post out my frustrations for a moment. Sometimes, I feel, we just need to have a little bit more of sense of responsibilities.
Anyhow, I just wish to get things settled as soon cox am kinda pissed out with things.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Somethin' bout ME.
Well, life have been tiring again these days. Just came back from the ECOBA celebrating Sunny's birthday. Tired-ness is simply due to my lack of sleep plus rest. I bought a pair of heels and they are freaking breaking my legs! LOL! Job have been fine tho. Infact, its becoming more and more interesting!
I was having sleepless nights for weeks. And, know what? I only thought its like, sleepless nights = insomnia only mer. No big deal! But only till yesterday, after Rosary. We went Yum Cha. Julius was asking me bout it. Damn thing! I cried again! I did not realised that there were so many things stuck in me that brought me sleepless nights!
Julius and Mervin have been kinda forceful asking me to think, think and think. They are like so worry that I might jump down from my hse or what~! LOL! Na la. Joking! XD
They maybe cruel! HA! But that kinda helped me tho! To think and analyse! Thanks people! ^^
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
My So Recent Life~
I found out something that, I have ran out of ideas to what to name my post! LOL! So, what I do is just to insert some other words (so that they don't sound the same) Tahaha! This is what you call creativity. Ha!
Today is already the 4th day of work and the best thing is that, its Friday! Cool! I can't wait to go back moro to eat Mama's cooking. I somehow did not really have good meals here in KL. Probably, ermmmmm, nvm, cox I dunno why! HA!
Was kinda hard for me the 1st few days of work cox, its been a long long long time ever since I wake up at 6 in the morning! I tend to fish so much at work the 1st day! Talk bout 1st day of work. My manager's name is Kathleen~ She is just super cool! Her character looks like a friend of mine and I kept figuring. Then I found out, its KELLYN! The way she talk is so so effing same as KELLYN! HA!
And, I was brought to lunch that 1st day. Thought maybe, we are gonna have something not so expensive? LOL! Guess what? We went to the Brussel Beer Cafe?!
Today is already the 4th day of work and the best thing is that, its Friday! Cool! I can't wait to go back moro to eat Mama's cooking. I somehow did not really have good meals here in KL. Probably, ermmmmm, nvm, cox I dunno why! HA!
Was kinda hard for me the 1st few days of work cox, its been a long long long time ever since I wake up at 6 in the morning! I tend to fish so much at work the 1st day! Talk bout 1st day of work. My manager's name is Kathleen~ She is just super cool! Her character looks like a friend of mine and I kept figuring. Then I found out, its KELLYN! The way she talk is so so effing same as KELLYN! HA!
And, I was brought to lunch that 1st day. Thought maybe, we are gonna have something not so expensive? LOL! Guess what? We went to the Brussel Beer Cafe?!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Moody but Why?
Counting down~ Few more days am gonna start work already. Am kinda happy, kick some ass! Cox, am gonna have the ability! I'm gonna fully utilize what I have so that I do waste resources. :)
But somehow, am not in the right mood now. Don't ask me why cox I really do not know why. This is the worst part when you do not why you're unhappy for.
Why? Why? Why? I memang dunno why~ Haix!
But somehow, am not in the right mood now. Don't ask me why cox I really do not know why. This is the worst part when you do not why you're unhappy for.
Why? Why? Why? I memang dunno why~ Haix!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Temporary?
Looking back at my previous post. I realized, there's just too many tired-ness around me. And, for real Life Have Been Tiring these days. My fren said "Cool lar you, can always travel here and there." LOL! You should try this man! No joke! HAHA!
Am getting nearer to kick start the new life of mine. Not a reborn or anything. But, a brand new environment and place am gonna be in. Once again, I've got to learn how to cope living with people. How to deal with problems. Its not gonna be something super hard nor super easy. But, look at the bright side! ^^
People tend to ask when they know that I'm gonna start work in KL "Where are you gonna be working at? As what ar?" Then I would reply "Will be working at ACE Synergy, as a Temporary Staff". Erm. I somehow do not have a good feeling telling people "Temporary Staff" tho.
Anyhow, I wish these will all be temporary cox I want a permanent job! ^^
All I could do now is to perform the best that I could and work on well to get another better offer, perhaps!
Till then! I really need to get a good sleep tonight cox, I've not been sleeping well these days! :)
Am getting nearer to kick start the new life of mine. Not a reborn or anything. But, a brand new environment and place am gonna be in. Once again, I've got to learn how to cope living with people. How to deal with problems. Its not gonna be something super hard nor super easy. But, look at the bright side! ^^
People tend to ask when they know that I'm gonna start work in KL "Where are you gonna be working at? As what ar?" Then I would reply "Will be working at ACE Synergy, as a Temporary Staff". Erm. I somehow do not have a good feeling telling people "Temporary Staff" tho.
Anyhow, I wish these will all be temporary cox I want a permanent job! ^^
All I could do now is to perform the best that I could and work on well to get another better offer, perhaps!
Till then! I really need to get a good sleep tonight cox, I've not been sleeping well these days! :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Tired~
Tiredness is there waiting at my door. Am having headache now. My dad said wanna buy the Home Alarm. But now, he want me and my brother to share out the payment. Well, its not that I dun want to do it. but, am still planning on my financial condition. As am only starting to work next month. Walao~ i've already got debts to pay? How cool? I need to pay for my PTPTN Loan, pressure cooker, Home Alarm and soon, we'll need to get the cartridge filter.
When I thought of all this. Only thing that came to my mind is AMWAY~! I can only use this method to help me earn more living! ^^
Life isn't that easy anymore. Unlike in college. No worries for financial. Thank God that I did not want to go UK.
Sometimes, talking to my own dad i just as tiring man! I've trained to the maximum level of PATIENCE at home! ^^
When I thought of all this. Only thing that came to my mind is AMWAY~! I can only use this method to help me earn more living! ^^
Life isn't that easy anymore. Unlike in college. No worries for financial. Thank God that I did not want to go UK.
Sometimes, talking to my own dad i just as tiring man! I've trained to the maximum level of PATIENCE at home! ^^
Stories to Tell~
Well, its been like a week off from my bloggy blog again. What happened the past days? Lotsa things to blog about. Lotsa things to describe about. Wait~ Let me list them out :
Well, the above were the things that I wanna roughly blog them out. Mind to go thru it?
Hurmp. Before I went up to KL on Wednesday morning. I got a call from the company called LB Aluminium which I kinda dislike the company. LOL! And, Amirah told me that "Emily~ You're hired!". Tahaha! Boo! So sorry but I've already promised my ex-colleague named Estee on attending the interview in KL. So? I've declined the offer! Yayy!
Bout my Facebook friend~ Hurmp. The both of them are 3 years younger than me. Well, maybe am just treating them as little brother of mine. :D I did went out with them. Kinda know their characteristics. But, somehow I do not have the right to judge them, you think so? Although, they do not really portray the character that I like. But, they are just my friends! :) Aren't my boyfriends~LOL!
Went watch Justin Bieber with Kevin Thomas. And, "GREAT LARRR~ I suka sama Justin Bieber la! Macam mana nie?" HA! Erm, one thing bout hanging out with them. Its just cool and nice cox, my mentality somehow goes to their level and I can act like a kid once again! This is something I wanted tho. Cox, I felt I've got too much stressed over my life! Hurmp. Maybe, these are good stress?
Interview~ It of cox went of super fine! And, I got the job the next day! Tahaha! Hurmp. I have good feelings for the company and I seriously hope this is a true feeling! Erm. Well, rushing for the interview wasn't something good but, I managed to get there on time! Cheers!
Things at home~ Well, family have always been happy these days. Mom and Dad weren't really happy with me going to work in KL! Frankly, who will not want to stay at their own home where they can save on their expenses? Actually, am given a choice to do so. But, erm, this is not what I wanted for this moment. I want learn to stand up again if I falls. Sounded weird right? But that's me! :) I don't want to lead a happy go lucky life NOW and at the end, I end up SOUR! Get me?
Things bout me? Dad had a talk with me just now. All these while, I have been thinking of things that he thought. But, he do not know bout it! He struggles. I know! That is why, I did not wanna go UK! He is tired! I know too! But, what are the things that I could do to help? All I could think of, is the business that am doing! Once again I would say, what am doing is no easy! I can choose to do what I love doing! But, these will not help me in my 5 years to come!
Dad does not encourage me in doing what am doing! But, he supports me indirectly, I know! ^^ Thanks Dad! There's no who is right or who is wrong in the family. Because everybody plays a role. So have I played my role at home? :)
3rd of May will be the day. A new start from me. Leaving myself of from the college mindset! Life will not be easy when I start work! But, at least, I go thru this struggle and I know how to handle when the next one comes! ^^ Cool?
1) JOB!
2) FB Friend (Kevin & Eriz)
3) Justin Bieber
4) Interview
5) Things at home
6) Finally, bout me!
Well, the above were the things that I wanna roughly blog them out. Mind to go thru it?
Hurmp. Before I went up to KL on Wednesday morning. I got a call from the company called LB Aluminium which I kinda dislike the company. LOL! And, Amirah told me that "Emily~ You're hired!". Tahaha! Boo! So sorry but I've already promised my ex-colleague named Estee on attending the interview in KL. So? I've declined the offer! Yayy!
Bout my Facebook friend~ Hurmp. The both of them are 3 years younger than me. Well, maybe am just treating them as little brother of mine. :D I did went out with them. Kinda know their characteristics. But, somehow I do not have the right to judge them, you think so? Although, they do not really portray the character that I like. But, they are just my friends! :) Aren't my boyfriends~LOL!
Went watch Justin Bieber with Kevin Thomas. And, "GREAT LARRR~ I suka sama Justin Bieber la! Macam mana nie?" HA! Erm, one thing bout hanging out with them. Its just cool and nice cox, my mentality somehow goes to their level and I can act like a kid once again! This is something I wanted tho. Cox, I felt I've got too much stressed over my life! Hurmp. Maybe, these are good stress?
Interview~ It of cox went of super fine! And, I got the job the next day! Tahaha! Hurmp. I have good feelings for the company and I seriously hope this is a true feeling! Erm. Well, rushing for the interview wasn't something good but, I managed to get there on time! Cheers!
Things at home~ Well, family have always been happy these days. Mom and Dad weren't really happy with me going to work in KL! Frankly, who will not want to stay at their own home where they can save on their expenses? Actually, am given a choice to do so. But, erm, this is not what I wanted for this moment. I want learn to stand up again if I falls. Sounded weird right? But that's me! :) I don't want to lead a happy go lucky life NOW and at the end, I end up SOUR! Get me?
Things bout me? Dad had a talk with me just now. All these while, I have been thinking of things that he thought. But, he do not know bout it! He struggles. I know! That is why, I did not wanna go UK! He is tired! I know too! But, what are the things that I could do to help? All I could think of, is the business that am doing! Once again I would say, what am doing is no easy! I can choose to do what I love doing! But, these will not help me in my 5 years to come!
Dad does not encourage me in doing what am doing! But, he supports me indirectly, I know! ^^ Thanks Dad! There's no who is right or who is wrong in the family. Because everybody plays a role. So have I played my role at home? :)
3rd of May will be the day. A new start from me. Leaving myself of from the college mindset! Life will not be easy when I start work! But, at least, I go thru this struggle and I know how to handle when the next one comes! ^^ Cool?
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Updates!
Interview is supposed to be tomoro but. Its on Thursday now. Know what? Sometimes, plans will not always go according to plans! Shitty right? Aikx.
Thought of getting my interview done tomoro then I can bring my people to the HQ tomoro. Now, I need to do that tomoro.
Well, really hope that this Thursday's interview will be a successful one! I really wanna start working! I cannot stay jobless at home anymore cox, my aunty is like one kind dy now. I dunno why but she seemed to act differently. Maybe it was me being too sensitive.
Anyhow, I've not been so cheerful these days. And, I hope this will end soon! I want my cheerful expression back again! ^^
Monday, April 18, 2011
Done?
Hurmp... Thoughts and wonders. The one of going to Q-dees had come to an end. Everyone seemed to be disagree-ing with it. So, fine then. I put it a NO!
LB called me again this morning. Bla bla bla. Have this job. Wants me to go for interview this that. Didn't even ask me if I'm still available for job. LOL! I finally declined!
Anyhow, I'll be going for an interview this Wednesday. And KL is like my second home. Travels here more than once a week! Woooo~ This is simply tiring!
But anyhow, another thing for me to settle 1st then get on to another. This may not be the job I would really want but, I will try it 1st. Get some experience and get moving! ^^
No doubt, I didn't feel good the past days. Thinking and pondering bout it. But, now I think I'm getting it settled down already! ^^ Thank GOD for answering my prayer! AMEN!
LB called me again this morning. Bla bla bla. Have this job. Wants me to go for interview this that. Didn't even ask me if I'm still available for job. LOL! I finally declined!
Anyhow, I'll be going for an interview this Wednesday. And KL is like my second home. Travels here more than once a week! Woooo~ This is simply tiring!
But anyhow, another thing for me to settle 1st then get on to another. This may not be the job I would really want but, I will try it 1st. Get some experience and get moving! ^^
No doubt, I didn't feel good the past days. Thinking and pondering bout it. But, now I think I'm getting it settled down already! ^^ Thank GOD for answering my prayer! AMEN!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Cracking My Head!
I'm back to TQG last night. A whole brand new place to be in. It took me 3 hours to reach PJ. Was kinda tiring tho. But, being there was just so energetic again.
I managed to speak to April last night. And she really want me to go work there at her kindergarten. Salary is kinda low there. That somehow made me think, how to survive with the amount? But, I cannot be too selfish asking for too much as, that is the max amount that Q-dees can give.
Another part of me, said 'Why think so much,just get on to it and try! As, just thinking will not give you any solution!'. Which, I've decided the second thought of mine.
April found a room that charges RM200. She will help me look at it moro. But problem is here, who will be paying for the room? :) Edward did spoke to me in the car in the noon. What he said is true! All decisions depends on me. I need to be honest to my parents. I know they somehow wanted me much to be in their team but, they still want the best for me that is to follow my parents if they really disagree.
Dear readers, I do not know how and what I show decide when it comes to this. This is really the time I need to decide for my future.Why is it that people only work and do not think on so many things but yet, I need to? Others can just 'Oh, work? Okay ar. Salary ok ar? Okay lo! Start work!'. But why do I need to crack my head so so much?
I managed to speak to April last night. And she really want me to go work there at her kindergarten. Salary is kinda low there. That somehow made me think, how to survive with the amount? But, I cannot be too selfish asking for too much as, that is the max amount that Q-dees can give.
Another part of me, said 'Why think so much,just get on to it and try! As, just thinking will not give you any solution!'. Which, I've decided the second thought of mine.
April found a room that charges RM200. She will help me look at it moro. But problem is here, who will be paying for the room? :) Edward did spoke to me in the car in the noon. What he said is true! All decisions depends on me. I need to be honest to my parents. I know they somehow wanted me much to be in their team but, they still want the best for me that is to follow my parents if they really disagree.
Dear readers, I do not know how and what I show decide when it comes to this. This is really the time I need to decide for my future.Why is it that people only work and do not think on so many things but yet, I need to? Others can just 'Oh, work? Okay ar. Salary ok ar? Okay lo! Start work!'. But why do I need to crack my head so so much?
Friday, April 15, 2011
No Doubt! ^^
Have been wondering if the decision I made will be the right one? But, this just came thru my mind just now. As I have decided, I should doubt over it anymore. This is my decision. If anything does not go according to place. I have to be responsible for it. :)
April wants me to start work on Monday. But that is kinda rush for me tho. Plus I have appointments on Monday and Tuesday. So, gotta make sure that I get all my things done then get it started! ^^
April wants me to start work on Monday. But that is kinda rush for me tho. Plus I have appointments on Monday and Tuesday. So, gotta make sure that I get all my things done then get it started! ^^
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Current Life~
Life have always been busy ever since I'm back here in Seremban~ Life have been tiring too. Have been running up and down KL. Have been preparing for exams. Have been staying up till late night just to get my revisions done. I immediately rushed for the DAS right after my exam. And, I almost got out of breath.
I'm kinda confused again these days. I've learned alot during the DAS. I managed to see alot of things about my future up the hill. And, I managed to get top 15 among the 70+ participants there. LOL! But, I did not get any prize. BUT, our team managed to get the 1st prize! How cool is that?!
Anyway, there is a one thing that bothers me kinda much these few days. To work at Klang or NOT to work at Klang? Looks like, April's family kinda want me to go work for them. They even said that, they search me a room so that I do not need to live alone at the kindergarten.
Yesterday, I finally made up my mind. I want to give it a try! Well, there are people that agreed and disagreed with my decision. The biggest objection that is from my family. I know of the good and bad consequences.
And then, this morning I got a call from Estee telling me that there's jobs available. I know GOD have been answering my prayers. As I did ask him to tell me and prepare me the way. But 2 things arrived at the same time. Which is which now? I got lost myself.
I'm kinda confused again these days. I've learned alot during the DAS. I managed to see alot of things about my future up the hill. And, I managed to get top 15 among the 70+ participants there. LOL! But, I did not get any prize. BUT, our team managed to get the 1st prize! How cool is that?!
Anyway, there is a one thing that bothers me kinda much these few days. To work at Klang or NOT to work at Klang? Looks like, April's family kinda want me to go work for them. They even said that, they search me a room so that I do not need to live alone at the kindergarten.
Yesterday, I finally made up my mind. I want to give it a try! Well, there are people that agreed and disagreed with my decision. The biggest objection that is from my family. I know of the good and bad consequences.
And then, this morning I got a call from Estee telling me that there's jobs available. I know GOD have been answering my prayers. As I did ask him to tell me and prepare me the way. But 2 things arrived at the same time. Which is which now? I got lost myself.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Shout Out!
I do not know how to start! But, I'm simply not in the right mood now! I thought I could but I just couldn't! I wanna try but I can't! I wanna go but I can't!
This is a good opportunity! But why is that they disagree?
This is a good opportunity! But why is that they disagree?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The Impossible Became Possible!
Life have been tiring recently. Why? Because of the travelling up and down KL. And you know KTM ain't a good transport. LOL! Na la~ Just that I dislike the waiting time! Its simply so super long!
Well, the month of March have been just awesome! Its been passing thru very superbly fast! I have been fighting for my goal to go DIAMOND ATTITUDE SEMINAR! And, I'm left with one more requirement to achieve it! How cool is that? Looking back at the sacrifices and tired-ness! Gosh! Its just so worthwhile!
I almost given up on this goal the few days back cox, I thought I will never make it. 700+ (RM 3000 sales) more pv to go! Chong V and April gave me a call 2 days back! Saying that am just one step away from my goal! Then I think, I still have one more item pending. E-Spring! Reached home at around 1.30pm. Called Mrs.Koh at 2.13pm. And, I've closed the E-Spring sales at 4pm! OMG! What an achievement?!
This shows, Nothing Is Impossible! Really! Everything Is Possible! Not to boast on anything here. But simply, I want my dear readers to know that It Is Possible! 2 more days left and I've made it! If I Can, So Do You!
Of cox, I made this thru because, I felt so much support from my Family Members, My Team, My Leaders, and not forgetting, GOD! He have been constantly answering my prayers after prayers! :)
Know what? Most of the time, people say a lot of negative stuff just because they think its impossible for you to achieve it. Well, we cannot stop them. So? Let them say whatever they want! If they are happier that way, let it be! How's that? Cool? When people do not support you in what you're doing. Screw them! As long as you know what you're doing is not wrong! Get to people that supports you. No one is there for you! Ok, let me think. Blast some songs that can boost you up again! That helps you know?! LOL!
Ok. Till then! All the best in life! ^^
Well, the month of March have been just awesome! Its been passing thru very superbly fast! I have been fighting for my goal to go DIAMOND ATTITUDE SEMINAR! And, I'm left with one more requirement to achieve it! How cool is that? Looking back at the sacrifices and tired-ness! Gosh! Its just so worthwhile!
I almost given up on this goal the few days back cox, I thought I will never make it. 700+ (RM 3000 sales) more pv to go! Chong V and April gave me a call 2 days back! Saying that am just one step away from my goal! Then I think, I still have one more item pending. E-Spring! Reached home at around 1.30pm. Called Mrs.Koh at 2.13pm. And, I've closed the E-Spring sales at 4pm! OMG! What an achievement?!
This shows, Nothing Is Impossible! Really! Everything Is Possible! Not to boast on anything here. But simply, I want my dear readers to know that It Is Possible! 2 more days left and I've made it! If I Can, So Do You!
Of cox, I made this thru because, I felt so much support from my Family Members, My Team, My Leaders, and not forgetting, GOD! He have been constantly answering my prayers after prayers! :)
Know what? Most of the time, people say a lot of negative stuff just because they think its impossible for you to achieve it. Well, we cannot stop them. So? Let them say whatever they want! If they are happier that way, let it be! How's that? Cool? When people do not support you in what you're doing. Screw them! As long as you know what you're doing is not wrong! Get to people that supports you. No one is there for you! Ok, let me think. Blast some songs that can boost you up again! That helps you know?! LOL!
Ok. Till then! All the best in life! ^^
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Patience!
Hurmp. Way Of The Cross ended already. Praise the Lord that DAD REALLY JOINED IN! :)
But.
Know what? Right after my previous post. I went downstairs to somehow accompany my dad for dinner. I got scolded! So not cool man! Erm. Somehow, there was a huge anger in me. You know me? I almost cried again. But, eventually I managed to hold my tears.
I knew I needed a lot of patience. I needed patience when I talk to dad. I needed patience when mom talks to me. I needed patience when I look after Bryan. I needed patience for many many many things! Aikx! Where did all my patience went? All disappeared? Oppsss~
Exam timetable is out. Exam is on the 8th and 9th of April! Oh boy! I still dun have the mood to study yet. How horrible! And, I will be going to KL with my buddies tomoro! :)
Hope to have a great day with my buddies moro! :D
But.
Know what? Right after my previous post. I went downstairs to somehow accompany my dad for dinner. I got scolded! So not cool man! Erm. Somehow, there was a huge anger in me. You know me? I almost cried again. But, eventually I managed to hold my tears.
I knew I needed a lot of patience. I needed patience when I talk to dad. I needed patience when mom talks to me. I needed patience when I look after Bryan. I needed patience for many many many things! Aikx! Where did all my patience went? All disappeared? Oppsss~
Exam timetable is out. Exam is on the 8th and 9th of April! Oh boy! I still dun have the mood to study yet. How horrible! And, I will be going to KL with my buddies tomoro! :)
Hope to have a great day with my buddies moro! :D
Friday, March 25, 2011
Challenges~
When things are just so smooth, there will surely be things that wanna object the smooth-ness of the journey. Agree? These days, I've been very positive. I have been cheerful. I have been keeping all negative thoughts away.
But somehow, I've gotten a not so good message just now. Which suddenly made me kinda feeling down right now. :) But, I just cannot be beaten down by this. I need to keep reminding myself that this is normal! Life would not be life if its all just smooth without challenges. Its time for me to think and find where is the problem at. So that I can keep myself growing!
Well, look at the bright side! Dad will be joining us for Station Of The Cross later. This is very unusual already. But, my second brother will not be joining in. I'll leave this up to the Lord as I know he is working out on my prayers and he have been answering my prayers too! Praise the LORD!
Its been 5 years, my BEC members have not been to my home in Taman Bukit Kaya. I'll continuously pray as, I know things are gonna work out! Its just the matter of time! ^^
But somehow, I've gotten a not so good message just now. Which suddenly made me kinda feeling down right now. :) But, I just cannot be beaten down by this. I need to keep reminding myself that this is normal! Life would not be life if its all just smooth without challenges. Its time for me to think and find where is the problem at. So that I can keep myself growing!
Well, look at the bright side! Dad will be joining us for Station Of The Cross later. This is very unusual already. But, my second brother will not be joining in. I'll leave this up to the Lord as I know he is working out on my prayers and he have been answering my prayers too! Praise the LORD!
Its been 5 years, my BEC members have not been to my home in Taman Bukit Kaya. I'll continuously pray as, I know things are gonna work out! Its just the matter of time! ^^
So, I'm gonna
CONTINUE MY JOURNEY
although there are gonna be
WHAT-SO-EVER-CHALLENGES
to block my way!
Cheers! ^^
Living My Life With Them!
**I'm supposed to post this up much earlier but I was kinda emo when I first back to Seremban. So, now only I posted this up. But, happy going through the picx ya! ^^ **
Over the years when I'm in Wangsa Maju Section 2, these were the people I shared most of my life with. This was the weekend before I really moved back to my hometown, Seremban. I managed to help out for the Exco Camp, the second time. Which am proud of myself cox am still able to contribute. :) Check out the pictures. They are just so awesome people! HUGX!
Jennifer cooking the 1st meal~
Was supposed to be candid but,Yang Ge looked at the camera. Tahaha~
Better shot. Check out the yellow guy named Aaron~
Nicely resting for songs?
Yang Ge and his guitar~
Me preparing to present. LOL!
Me**Gracie~
Ong Ong**Me
Yang Ge**Me
Our Shapalang Fried Rice~
Guitarsssss~
Specky ones?
Girls!
SWOT Analysis. Da Ge**Yang Ge
Dinner With GOD!
All In All~
Us-The Old Ones!LOL!
Our Meal~
Their Projects~
OngOng punya car~
Him~The Ong of the year~LOL!
Cute pic eh?
Just guys~
Just girls~
Me**Guardian Angel~
F4??
US~LOVE! ^^
US Again!LOVE AGAIN LOR! ^^
Dominic is Tall! :D
Julius**Me
Moses**Me
Ah Ong so Blissed...LOL!
Pretty ehh??
Me**Yang Ge
Me**Niang Re
Sophia**Me
Adrian**Me
For the Garfield!So, we all did this! LOL!
Lastly. I dunno why but I love this pic. So, it went sesat-ed here. TAHAHA!
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