Decided!

I have already made up my mind to move out of the home. I'll start searching for home and will want to move out end of this month. This may be kinda rush for me but, I need to get things settled before they sign their contract end of this month.

The soul at my home have gone back to Jesus. She is now back to where she belongs. I will not wanna question anymore if this is true or not. Although, at times this may sound drama but this is really happening. If there's no story to tell then there won't be horror films on TV. This is just what am thinking tho.

I've got a mixed feeling and decision just now. I can hardly decide, something was just holding me back from things that am doing.

I broke down in tears because, I felt this life of mine. I felt there are like many challenges that am facing. Another part of me says, this is just the beginning of my real life! And so soon that you're complaining already? I'm a person that love to seek for advices. But the bad thing is, at the end, I ended up not knowing what to do and decide because I tend to get too much and many opinions.

I stopped crying for a moment, did some counsel with my Jeremiah and Chong V. Chong V will be flying off to U.K next Thursday. That is like so soon right? When he told me that just now, I kinda "bu she de" also larrr. But no choice tho. He needs to further his studies tho. Need to head to Klang for team briefing tonight.

After another round of crying. I realised that I have not been crying like that since, a month ago. So no harm crying tho! Ha!

Just now then I realised, many a times that I do not know how to decide. Maybe just like what Chong V says, I like to search for problems and not solutions. I like to "what if this, what if that?"  Just now that I really believe, everything, EVERYTHING has got its solutions.

This situation at home, really made me see many many things! In fact, it brought many things to my life. All these while, Jesus let me see Divine Mercy but this time, I got the chance to pray the Divine Mercy. We all got a get together at home. And, I'm blessed to have CSS as one of my HOME! Thanks to the Big Papa, he had never fail in supporting me and give me ideas and suggestions to me.

I could feel so deeply on family love. The care for me. The worries they had on me. And, I feel so so so wrong bringing them worries.

Mangga Busuk, I know you'll be reading this. As a brother, I know you had maximum worries to me cox  I am your sister. Even if this happens to Wai Ko, I know you'll definitely do the same. Cox you have always been there to love us much! As the youngest in the family, I know I have given much worries to You, Mum, Dad and everyone at home. Thanks for having a firm decision and advise to me this time. I have made up my mind. And, I'll seek a better condition to live and spend my life on! I was afraid with the situation when you came by just now. But I know you've got your reasons and I understand your reasons. I'm truly blessed and gifted to have you as my brother!

I'm trully blessed to be ME! Because, I'm surrounded with people that care and love me! Thank God that I'm me! Amen! :)