What the furtttt~ I forgot my heels today~ I left it at home. I reached office. WTF? Where are my heels??
What was I thinking these days? Have not been having a clear mind. Dad wants me to pay him back. Situation at home supposed to be better already but Dad is gossiping to my aunty! They are just making my family up-side-down again! WTH??!!
I don't understand this. I thought all these are coming to an end already but, why are all these still happening? Maybe like what Julius said, "For others to be happy, you're willing to do anything. You do not care much bout yourself!" Well, what he said is not wrong.
Many things happened in life. This and that. After that happened, solved, another one comes again! I'm starting to get tired over life at times. But, I know I have the responsible to carry on living, I have the responsible for my family. No matter what, LIFE STILL GOES ON!
To many, this are like peanut problems faced. :) I just need time to get thru what am going thru.
I need to learn to do Financial Planning. All these while, I do time management but not Money Management. Was kinda hurt with what Dad wanted me to do, paying him back every month. I know cox, I've started working, I need to pay on my own. But the way of him dealing with this is like, "I do not have the responsibilities on you anymore!" What would you feel if you were treated this way? He wanted me to pay him back RM250 per month! Whatttttttttttt?? I can only afford to pay RM100 plus the alarm installment, RM50. Now, eat or don't eat, I'll need to pay him RM150! I'm left with RM 600 to survive! All the best to me!
This is the path that I have chosen. I know! These are the consequences that I need to bear! I know! But, pls dun hurt me like this! I know he dun wanna let me go UK and I did not insist to go! Sometimes, it just hurt so badly! If anyone could understand me?
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Leader Leaving To UK~
No more SOS call to make when he is not around. Aikx! He is the one that I always call when I needed help in what-so-ever things~
He will be away for 3 months. Wuwu~
Right now, am at the office waiting for the time to pass cox there is nothing to be done here now. Sienx weiii~
Just wanna say, I'm gonna be missing Chong V while he is away although just for the 3 months~ :)
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Is it or is it not?
Hey People~ How's life?
I'm here again. I'm like, now you see, now you don't! LOL!
Anyway, was kinda busy these days. Hurmp. Sorry but the word BUSY always appears in my blog. I was hunting for room. I almost got cheated by the bloody errie smelly owner! HAHA!
As my previous post, I was desperate for a room simply because, there are alot of things that I wanna do for this moment. I then found one room. With air-con. But the rental is kinda expensive for me.Somehow, I'm made the house leader already. My Landlord sounded to be a good person tho but, I really hope my 1st impression towards him is right.
Was calculating my salary-expenses=little money? LOL! This is the way/road/path that I have chosen. It may be a struggle for me but, if am able to go thru this, I'm so so super cool! :)
Have been kinda 'pek chek' due to some stuff at my Wangsa home but, this is life eh? Give and take is very important tho. Till then I realised that, Julius said I've given too much. I then discover something scary in me. I need inner healing? Due to past hurts?
Had dinner with Mangga Busuk and Jie yesday. Had Shabu Shabu for the 1st time. The waitress was kinda funny when she talk. LOL! I've got a little cakie. And, I brought it to office for my tea-break later. :)
Rosary last night. 3 excos were at my home. Off a sudden, during the bible sharing. Jennifer and Xiao Heng threw out their frustration towards CSS. The meetings and the activity. I did not feel extremely bad cox I know this is just another challenge by GOD. They do not find it meaningful anymore being the excos. Well, I know I shouldn't be interefering this but, I may wanna help to motivate them and make them find the meaning again.
CSS cannot just fall like that. Julius have been working hard to keep everything in place. But, why? Why are they thinking that what Julius is doing is just too much?
I still stick to my principle, "To make others to change, first, change yourself!"
I'm here again. I'm like, now you see, now you don't! LOL!
Anyway, was kinda busy these days. Hurmp. Sorry but the word BUSY always appears in my blog. I was hunting for room. I almost got cheated by the bloody errie smelly owner! HAHA!
As my previous post, I was desperate for a room simply because, there are alot of things that I wanna do for this moment. I then found one room. With air-con. But the rental is kinda expensive for me.Somehow, I'm made the house leader already. My Landlord sounded to be a good person tho but, I really hope my 1st impression towards him is right.
Was calculating my salary-expenses=little money? LOL! This is the way/road/path that I have chosen. It may be a struggle for me but, if am able to go thru this, I'm so so super cool! :)
Have been kinda 'pek chek' due to some stuff at my Wangsa home but, this is life eh? Give and take is very important tho. Till then I realised that, Julius said I've given too much. I then discover something scary in me. I need inner healing? Due to past hurts?
Had dinner with Mangga Busuk and Jie yesday. Had Shabu Shabu for the 1st time. The waitress was kinda funny when she talk. LOL! I've got a little cakie. And, I brought it to office for my tea-break later. :)
Rosary last night. 3 excos were at my home. Off a sudden, during the bible sharing. Jennifer and Xiao Heng threw out their frustration towards CSS. The meetings and the activity. I did not feel extremely bad cox I know this is just another challenge by GOD. They do not find it meaningful anymore being the excos. Well, I know I shouldn't be interefering this but, I may wanna help to motivate them and make them find the meaning again.
CSS cannot just fall like that. Julius have been working hard to keep everything in place. But, why? Why are they thinking that what Julius is doing is just too much?
I still stick to my principle, "To make others to change, first, change yourself!"
Saturday, May 21, 2011
#Desperado?#
Days keep passing. Each time when I go to work, when I uses the Touch & Go Card. Looking at the days left. That is like a countdown for me. Salary will be out soon.
Kinda lot of things to think about. Am desperate for a room. Am desperate for money. Am I gonna be taken as permanent staff? But Kathleen seemed to be telling me alot of stuff. She is kinda involving me into the new projects. So what is it trying to tell me?
Have been searching for rooms like crazy! LOL! The very 1st thing I do before work starts. Browse the net, check if there is new notices on room for rent. Know what? Is like looking if the share is up or down! Kinda fun tho!
Wasn't really feeling good the past days. I need to seriously budget my money. Rental is seriously not cheap here for a room! Aikx! But,I still wanna stick back at Wangsa. April asked me 'Why always Wangsa?' . Maybe not many could understand why but this is where I grow. Its been 4 years here. I dunno if you understand the feeling. Nvm if you don't. LOL! XD Anyway, life still goes on tho.
Challenges have coming to me. Never stopped! I sometimes feel, OUT_OF_BREATH! Everything happens for a reason tho.
Like what Vanessa said, "God will not build mountain that you cannot climb."
Kinda lot of things to think about. Am desperate for a room. Am desperate for money. Am I gonna be taken as permanent staff? But Kathleen seemed to be telling me alot of stuff. She is kinda involving me into the new projects. So what is it trying to tell me?
Have been searching for rooms like crazy! LOL! The very 1st thing I do before work starts. Browse the net, check if there is new notices on room for rent. Know what? Is like looking if the share is up or down! Kinda fun tho!
Wasn't really feeling good the past days. I need to seriously budget my money. Rental is seriously not cheap here for a room! Aikx! But,I still wanna stick back at Wangsa. April asked me 'Why always Wangsa?' . Maybe not many could understand why but this is where I grow. Its been 4 years here. I dunno if you understand the feeling. Nvm if you don't. LOL! XD Anyway, life still goes on tho.
Challenges have coming to me. Never stopped! I sometimes feel, OUT_OF_BREATH! Everything happens for a reason tho.
Like what Vanessa said, "God will not build mountain that you cannot climb."
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Decided!
I have already made up my mind to move out of the home. I'll start searching for home and will want to move out end of this month. This may be kinda rush for me but, I need to get things settled before they sign their contract end of this month.
The soul at my home have gone back to Jesus. She is now back to where she belongs. I will not wanna question anymore if this is true or not. Although, at times this may sound drama but this is really happening. If there's no story to tell then there won't be horror films on TV. This is just what am thinking tho.
I've got a mixed feeling and decision just now. I can hardly decide, something was just holding me back from things that am doing.
I broke down in tears because, I felt this life of mine. I felt there are like many challenges that am facing. Another part of me says, this is just the beginning of my real life! And so soon that you're complaining already? I'm a person that love to seek for advices. But the bad thing is, at the end, I ended up not knowing what to do and decide because I tend to get too much and many opinions.
I stopped crying for a moment, did some counsel with my Jeremiah and Chong V. Chong V will be flying off to U.K next Thursday. That is like so soon right? When he told me that just now, I kinda "bu she de" also larrr. But no choice tho. He needs to further his studies tho. Need to head to Klang for team briefing tonight.
After another round of crying. I realised that I have not been crying like that since, a month ago. So no harm crying tho! Ha!
Just now then I realised, many a times that I do not know how to decide. Maybe just like what Chong V says, I like to search for problems and not solutions. I like to "what if this, what if that?" Just now that I really believe, everything, EVERYTHING has got its solutions.
This situation at home, really made me see many many things! In fact, it brought many things to my life. All these while, Jesus let me see Divine Mercy but this time, I got the chance to pray the Divine Mercy. We all got a get together at home. And, I'm blessed to have CSS as one of my HOME! Thanks to the Big Papa, he had never fail in supporting me and give me ideas and suggestions to me.
I could feel so deeply on family love. The care for me. The worries they had on me. And, I feel so so so wrong bringing them worries.
Mangga Busuk, I know you'll be reading this. As a brother, I know you had maximum worries to me cox I am your sister. Even if this happens to Wai Ko, I know you'll definitely do the same. Cox you have always been there to love us much! As the youngest in the family, I know I have given much worries to You, Mum, Dad and everyone at home. Thanks for having a firm decision and advise to me this time. I have made up my mind. And, I'll seek a better condition to live and spend my life on! I was afraid with the situation when you came by just now. But I know you've got your reasons and I understand your reasons. I'm truly blessed and gifted to have you as my brother!
I'm trully blessed to be ME! Because, I'm surrounded with people that care and love me! Thank God that I'm me! Amen! :)
The soul at my home have gone back to Jesus. She is now back to where she belongs. I will not wanna question anymore if this is true or not. Although, at times this may sound drama but this is really happening. If there's no story to tell then there won't be horror films on TV. This is just what am thinking tho.
I've got a mixed feeling and decision just now. I can hardly decide, something was just holding me back from things that am doing.
I broke down in tears because, I felt this life of mine. I felt there are like many challenges that am facing. Another part of me says, this is just the beginning of my real life! And so soon that you're complaining already? I'm a person that love to seek for advices. But the bad thing is, at the end, I ended up not knowing what to do and decide because I tend to get too much and many opinions.
I stopped crying for a moment, did some counsel with my Jeremiah and Chong V. Chong V will be flying off to U.K next Thursday. That is like so soon right? When he told me that just now, I kinda "bu she de" also larrr. But no choice tho. He needs to further his studies tho. Need to head to Klang for team briefing tonight.
After another round of crying. I realised that I have not been crying like that since, a month ago. So no harm crying tho! Ha!
Just now then I realised, many a times that I do not know how to decide. Maybe just like what Chong V says, I like to search for problems and not solutions. I like to "what if this, what if that?" Just now that I really believe, everything, EVERYTHING has got its solutions.
This situation at home, really made me see many many things! In fact, it brought many things to my life. All these while, Jesus let me see Divine Mercy but this time, I got the chance to pray the Divine Mercy. We all got a get together at home. And, I'm blessed to have CSS as one of my HOME! Thanks to the Big Papa, he had never fail in supporting me and give me ideas and suggestions to me.
I could feel so deeply on family love. The care for me. The worries they had on me. And, I feel so so so wrong bringing them worries.
Mangga Busuk, I know you'll be reading this. As a brother, I know you had maximum worries to me cox I am your sister. Even if this happens to Wai Ko, I know you'll definitely do the same. Cox you have always been there to love us much! As the youngest in the family, I know I have given much worries to You, Mum, Dad and everyone at home. Thanks for having a firm decision and advise to me this time. I have made up my mind. And, I'll seek a better condition to live and spend my life on! I was afraid with the situation when you came by just now. But I know you've got your reasons and I understand your reasons. I'm truly blessed and gifted to have you as my brother!
I'm trully blessed to be ME! Because, I'm surrounded with people that care and love me! Thank God that I'm me! Amen! :)
Monday, May 16, 2011
How I Was~
I have been having erm, imsomnia for almost a month. I could sleep for 2 hours then, awake for 1 hour then off to bed again. So average, I only get 4 hours sleep per day~ Is this called imsomnia? Omg! I feel very very tired at work! I bought myself Double X. Some supplements for my body cox I simply know my situation now is seriously hurting my body. I don't know how long more I could hang on to this. Its simply tiring-mentally and also emotionally. Dang!
I hope I won't get crazy one day! LOL! I need to keep my work man!
This is basically how I was during the night! LOL! Haha!
But am no Orang Putih larr~
But am no Orang Putih larr~
So not 100% same situation~ XD
This is how I was at work! Walao~!
Tell you!
Simply no no no good ar! Darn!
Its Like A Drama~
Hurmp. I did not want to post the whole story last night cox I kinda feel the eriee-ness. :)
Just some updates, there is a soul at my Wangsa home. And, Julius' friend managed to identify her. Her name is Janet Chua Chui Leng. I know this might sound dramatic. And, even I myself, find it hard to believe at this point of time.
According to Julius' friend named, Amy, the soul have no evil purpose for she just needed alot of prayer and, there are things that she couldn't let go, that made her wonder around and can't rest in peace. I wonder is it cox we have been prayful and so it chose our home? There's shift everyday where, 2 person will come overnight at our house to accompany us. I somehow do feel scared tho. But, I can't be leaving things behind and run away right?
I have been having sleepless nights again. And I simply hate this word called "SLEEPLESS" night! Dang! Its just making me feel like zombie!
We are now searching for houses to move out. Found 2 houses but, I don't know. I'm the eldest in that house. I know I need to try to sort things out. Julius did spoke to us last night. Telling us to talk our heart out if there's any problem arises. And, I did it all last night.
We offer Divine Mercy prayer to the little soul almost everyday. We offer her a mass this coming Saturday. I dreamt of her last night. I couldn't see her face clearly but she told me that she do not harm. All she needs is just prayer.
Stacey and Sophia will be coming over tonight for a stay. Erm. I think that's bout it for now. Stay tune for more updates!
Have a great weekday people! No Monday's Blue! Cheers!
Just some updates, there is a soul at my Wangsa home. And, Julius' friend managed to identify her. Her name is Janet Chua Chui Leng. I know this might sound dramatic. And, even I myself, find it hard to believe at this point of time.
According to Julius' friend named, Amy, the soul have no evil purpose for she just needed alot of prayer and, there are things that she couldn't let go, that made her wonder around and can't rest in peace. I wonder is it cox we have been prayful and so it chose our home? There's shift everyday where, 2 person will come overnight at our house to accompany us. I somehow do feel scared tho. But, I can't be leaving things behind and run away right?
I have been having sleepless nights again. And I simply hate this word called "SLEEPLESS" night! Dang! Its just making me feel like zombie!
We are now searching for houses to move out. Found 2 houses but, I don't know. I'm the eldest in that house. I know I need to try to sort things out. Julius did spoke to us last night. Telling us to talk our heart out if there's any problem arises. And, I did it all last night.
We offer Divine Mercy prayer to the little soul almost everyday. We offer her a mass this coming Saturday. I dreamt of her last night. I couldn't see her face clearly but she told me that she do not harm. All she needs is just prayer.
Stacey and Sophia will be coming over tonight for a stay. Erm. I think that's bout it for now. Stay tune for more updates!
Have a great weekday people! No Monday's Blue! Cheers!
Is real~
For real. This is really happening at my home.
Just to post out my frustrations for a moment. Sometimes, I feel, we just need to have a little bit more of sense of responsibilities.
Anyhow, I just wish to get things settled as soon cox am kinda pissed out with things.
Just to post out my frustrations for a moment. Sometimes, I feel, we just need to have a little bit more of sense of responsibilities.
Anyhow, I just wish to get things settled as soon cox am kinda pissed out with things.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Somethin' bout ME.
Well, life have been tiring again these days. Just came back from the ECOBA celebrating Sunny's birthday. Tired-ness is simply due to my lack of sleep plus rest. I bought a pair of heels and they are freaking breaking my legs! LOL! Job have been fine tho. Infact, its becoming more and more interesting!
I was having sleepless nights for weeks. And, know what? I only thought its like, sleepless nights = insomnia only mer. No big deal! But only till yesterday, after Rosary. We went Yum Cha. Julius was asking me bout it. Damn thing! I cried again! I did not realised that there were so many things stuck in me that brought me sleepless nights!
Julius and Mervin have been kinda forceful asking me to think, think and think. They are like so worry that I might jump down from my hse or what~! LOL! Na la. Joking! XD
They maybe cruel! HA! But that kinda helped me tho! To think and analyse! Thanks people! ^^
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
My So Recent Life~
I found out something that, I have ran out of ideas to what to name my post! LOL! So, what I do is just to insert some other words (so that they don't sound the same) Tahaha! This is what you call creativity. Ha!
Today is already the 4th day of work and the best thing is that, its Friday! Cool! I can't wait to go back moro to eat Mama's cooking. I somehow did not really have good meals here in KL. Probably, ermmmmm, nvm, cox I dunno why! HA!
Was kinda hard for me the 1st few days of work cox, its been a long long long time ever since I wake up at 6 in the morning! I tend to fish so much at work the 1st day! Talk bout 1st day of work. My manager's name is Kathleen~ She is just super cool! Her character looks like a friend of mine and I kept figuring. Then I found out, its KELLYN! The way she talk is so so effing same as KELLYN! HA!
And, I was brought to lunch that 1st day. Thought maybe, we are gonna have something not so expensive? LOL! Guess what? We went to the Brussel Beer Cafe?!
Today is already the 4th day of work and the best thing is that, its Friday! Cool! I can't wait to go back moro to eat Mama's cooking. I somehow did not really have good meals here in KL. Probably, ermmmmm, nvm, cox I dunno why! HA!
Was kinda hard for me the 1st few days of work cox, its been a long long long time ever since I wake up at 6 in the morning! I tend to fish so much at work the 1st day! Talk bout 1st day of work. My manager's name is Kathleen~ She is just super cool! Her character looks like a friend of mine and I kept figuring. Then I found out, its KELLYN! The way she talk is so so effing same as KELLYN! HA!
And, I was brought to lunch that 1st day. Thought maybe, we are gonna have something not so expensive? LOL! Guess what? We went to the Brussel Beer Cafe?!
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