Quintal Gretel said this in a meeting yesterday, "Who knows if there will be a Xmas Miracle?"
Same thing goes to me, can also I expect for miracles to happen?
Work have been fine these few days. I supposed is because am starting to know more on my job. :)
Mangga Busuk will be getting married next year in January. Mummy have not been well these days. Supposed to be meeting Dad this weekend but I think the plan needs to be cancelled off.
The Xmas Miracle that I hope to have is, may the peace be back to my family, may the health be with my family members, may happiness visits us at our door.
What Xmas Miracle do you expect? :)
Friday, November 18, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Life
Ya. I can't believe that my friend had departed for a week already. Plus I could not believe how time flies. How time change people. How time make everything nice and bad. So much to write again, till I do not know where to start. Life have got its ups and downs again at recent. I think this is how my life is.
Was kinda down last week, my friend departed to God. After reading his news and stories told by his mom, it saddens me more. Why do God want to take such good person off so soon? I went back to Seremban, looked at the pictures we took together. Maybe its real that God takes people off because HE love that person so much more than anyone of us do. What say you?
Incidents after incidents. Lives after lives, Leaving. I tend to seriously appreciate those around me. I seriously do not know what will happen next. Life is so fragile. Its really fragile that it can be just gone in a second. Last week's CSS gathering was a good one. The theme was, "Listening to God's Voice". I always have this problem in identifying, is it God that have spoken to me or was it my own imagination? Dr Cecilia came as the speaker that day. And its been a while ever since she came to CSS to join us in this Family. But somehow, what she said really make alot of senses to me. We were asked to share and no one really did because, I supposed cox they have not met Dr Cecilia before so they may feel stranger towards her. Anyway, I took the opportunity to share my experience.
And, till then I got to know. The month of June was the moment that God stirred my life like "Chao Kuey Teow" just to make me close to HIM. Which I personally felt so too. Cox, that was the very moment that I speak to God every night. Even when I was in my shower. I cried and scolded HIM like a real person. Dr Cecilia then said, "It is not wrong to be angry at God sometimes."
She then added, "God uses different ways to attract or catch people's attention." So, God decided to use the "Stir Fry Method" on me. Don't you think God also have a sense of humor? That was quoted by Sophia Ngiaw in one of my post.
I broke down in tears again on Sunday. I do not know why but I also cried during the sharing in Discipleship Class. I felt, I'm no longer me. I used to be caring, understanding. But now, I felt like I've lost the sense of myself. When I reached home. I felt so heavy once more. I have worries again that time. I wished the bible could talk to me again that time but it did not. I thought God hinted me on the GrapeVineyard story but nothing. Or was it me that do not understand what was written in the scripture?
I misses home so much that time. Funny thing was, I just got back from Seremban that noon. Yaikx. Weird right? Anyway, plus maybe cox Mummy was sick and am kinda worried of her health. I was supposed to attend Vanessa's convo and also to help out in the CSS Flower Sale. But I'll be going back this weekend. Its been 3 years joining the convo flower sale. But this time around, am not able to join them. However, I have full faith on my juniors that they are so gonna fine in handling the sale. They are experts in fundraisings already. :)
We visited the orphanage last Sunday. Looking at their rooms, their home. Just one word came across my mind, Appreciate. The kids were all well trained. They are all well mannered. Its my 3rd time to them orphanage. But this is the one time that I got to know so much bout the Home. How they were funded? What are their activities? Where are they from? Why are they here?
I called Han Ping again yesterday. I think this will be the last time of me calling him before he goes to his grandma's house on Friday. I asked him if he knows who was on the line. He said "Emily Jie Jie" The way he spoke to me is like, he is my brother. Those kinda feeling. He heard me coughing, he asked "You still not well? Take medicine." Well, thoughtful of him. He kept asking me to go visit him. And, I've made my promises to go after their school holidays. One more thing, I asked him if he have done packing all his things to his grandma's house. He said "Yup, you guess how many pieces of clothes do I have?" I said "15?". He answered, "Nope, not so many. 5 shirts and 5 pants. So I've finish packing all into one bag." Deep down in my heart, I felt bad. But all I said was "Okay ar, can fit all into one bag. Somemore can finish packing so fast!" :) I did not want him to know what I felt. :)
Bout work? We have switch workstation already. Now sitting very near to my seniors. Good in a way that, I can ask things easily, I can clarify things easily. Most important thing is, I got to understand better. Either on their job or my job. Maybe God is helping me out with this. I began to understand their stress once more when their threw their frustration at me again. Learning to leave work behind. Not bringing that kinda work emotions back to my home. After work, after 5.15pm, no more work-thinking. Unless if there is OT then tak sama story already lor. :)
Bout him, Preslly. Things have been very good with him. In fact, we are more into each other. :) Its been 2 months that we were together. Can you imagine how time flies? Yes? I can't imagine. LOL! He is now working at Lahad Datu. Hurmp. Working on something not everyone else will do. But, I seriously salute him. He sleeps early these days. Knowing that he is tired. And if its me, I could not afford to work like that. He have always being him. Jokes with me, makes me laugh.
10/11/11 was the day that he could remember so much. Simply because, I was angry at him. Threw him my temper pulak. And he have been telling me that the past days, "10/11/11, hari tu arrr. Ada orang marah dgn saya eh~ Tak tahu siapa eh??" I know I felt bad that time. Because, I have got my headache, thinking of my financial status, worst still brought my work worries back. See how this hurts when I bring my stress along with me? Hahaha! Anyway, thank goodness that he understands much bout me.
Just to say, am glad to be who I am now. I'm glad with the situation that am in now. Although I do cry as much. But, thank God! I am who I am today!
Was kinda down last week, my friend departed to God. After reading his news and stories told by his mom, it saddens me more. Why do God want to take such good person off so soon? I went back to Seremban, looked at the pictures we took together. Maybe its real that God takes people off because HE love that person so much more than anyone of us do. What say you?
Incidents after incidents. Lives after lives, Leaving. I tend to seriously appreciate those around me. I seriously do not know what will happen next. Life is so fragile. Its really fragile that it can be just gone in a second. Last week's CSS gathering was a good one. The theme was, "Listening to God's Voice". I always have this problem in identifying, is it God that have spoken to me or was it my own imagination? Dr Cecilia came as the speaker that day. And its been a while ever since she came to CSS to join us in this Family. But somehow, what she said really make alot of senses to me. We were asked to share and no one really did because, I supposed cox they have not met Dr Cecilia before so they may feel stranger towards her. Anyway, I took the opportunity to share my experience.
And, till then I got to know. The month of June was the moment that God stirred my life like "Chao Kuey Teow" just to make me close to HIM. Which I personally felt so too. Cox, that was the very moment that I speak to God every night. Even when I was in my shower. I cried and scolded HIM like a real person. Dr Cecilia then said, "It is not wrong to be angry at God sometimes."
She then added, "God uses different ways to attract or catch people's attention." So, God decided to use the "Stir Fry Method" on me. Don't you think God also have a sense of humor? That was quoted by Sophia Ngiaw in one of my post.
I broke down in tears again on Sunday. I do not know why but I also cried during the sharing in Discipleship Class. I felt, I'm no longer me. I used to be caring, understanding. But now, I felt like I've lost the sense of myself. When I reached home. I felt so heavy once more. I have worries again that time. I wished the bible could talk to me again that time but it did not. I thought God hinted me on the GrapeVineyard story but nothing. Or was it me that do not understand what was written in the scripture?
I misses home so much that time. Funny thing was, I just got back from Seremban that noon. Yaikx. Weird right? Anyway, plus maybe cox Mummy was sick and am kinda worried of her health. I was supposed to attend Vanessa's convo and also to help out in the CSS Flower Sale. But I'll be going back this weekend. Its been 3 years joining the convo flower sale. But this time around, am not able to join them. However, I have full faith on my juniors that they are so gonna fine in handling the sale. They are experts in fundraisings already. :)
We visited the orphanage last Sunday. Looking at their rooms, their home. Just one word came across my mind, Appreciate. The kids were all well trained. They are all well mannered. Its my 3rd time to them orphanage. But this is the one time that I got to know so much bout the Home. How they were funded? What are their activities? Where are they from? Why are they here?
I called Han Ping again yesterday. I think this will be the last time of me calling him before he goes to his grandma's house on Friday. I asked him if he knows who was on the line. He said "Emily Jie Jie" The way he spoke to me is like, he is my brother. Those kinda feeling. He heard me coughing, he asked "You still not well? Take medicine." Well, thoughtful of him. He kept asking me to go visit him. And, I've made my promises to go after their school holidays. One more thing, I asked him if he have done packing all his things to his grandma's house. He said "Yup, you guess how many pieces of clothes do I have?" I said "15?". He answered, "Nope, not so many. 5 shirts and 5 pants. So I've finish packing all into one bag." Deep down in my heart, I felt bad. But all I said was "Okay ar, can fit all into one bag. Somemore can finish packing so fast!" :) I did not want him to know what I felt. :)
Bout work? We have switch workstation already. Now sitting very near to my seniors. Good in a way that, I can ask things easily, I can clarify things easily. Most important thing is, I got to understand better. Either on their job or my job. Maybe God is helping me out with this. I began to understand their stress once more when their threw their frustration at me again. Learning to leave work behind. Not bringing that kinda work emotions back to my home. After work, after 5.15pm, no more work-thinking. Unless if there is OT then tak sama story already lor. :)
Bout him, Preslly. Things have been very good with him. In fact, we are more into each other. :) Its been 2 months that we were together. Can you imagine how time flies? Yes? I can't imagine. LOL! He is now working at Lahad Datu. Hurmp. Working on something not everyone else will do. But, I seriously salute him. He sleeps early these days. Knowing that he is tired. And if its me, I could not afford to work like that. He have always being him. Jokes with me, makes me laugh.
10/11/11 was the day that he could remember so much. Simply because, I was angry at him. Threw him my temper pulak. And he have been telling me that the past days, "10/11/11, hari tu arrr. Ada orang marah dgn saya eh~ Tak tahu siapa eh??" I know I felt bad that time. Because, I have got my headache, thinking of my financial status, worst still brought my work worries back. See how this hurts when I bring my stress along with me? Hahaha! Anyway, thank goodness that he understands much bout me.
Just to say, am glad to be who I am now. I'm glad with the situation that am in now. Although I do cry as much. But, thank God! I am who I am today!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
RIP, Adrian.
I was suddenly awaken in the middle of the night at 3am. Went on Fb for awhile. I saw Merlinda's post saying that Adrian Jay Pereira have been murdered. This is a so super shocking news. Adrian is our Catechism friend. I could still remember liking him so much when we were in the Confirmation Class together.
He was murdered because of defensing from the guy who wants to steal his bike. I had sleepless night till 4am. Thinking and remembering how he looked. Remembering how we worked together cleaning the church for our Confirmation activity.
Although its been a while that we meet each other. But he is a good friend indeed.
May his soul rest in peace. God Bless, Adrian.
He was murdered because of defensing from the guy who wants to steal his bike. I had sleepless night till 4am. Thinking and remembering how he looked. Remembering how we worked together cleaning the church for our Confirmation activity.
Although its been a while that we meet each other. But he is a good friend indeed.
May his soul rest in peace. God Bless, Adrian.
Being Alone.
Of a sudden, I felt so much like blogging but I do not have internet access now. So I decided to type it in the Microsoft Word 1st then post it up in my blogspot when I have the chance to do so. I do not know why but these days, I kinda enjoy being alone. Kinda enjoy the time, eating alone, listening to songs alone, walking here and there alone.
I do not know what this is due to but, I needed time for myself. Many things made me ponder about life. Especially when am alone, especially when am alone looking back at the pictures taken years ago.
Life has not been like a bed of roses lately. Have been frustrated over some stuff. Which also made me think whether to carry on or not. Ok, to make things clear again. Nothing to do with my relationship, ok? Well, I guess this is what life is all about. When something in life tend to be happy, sadness comes by. You agree?
My convocation is on the 17th of December 2011. This may be the last time of me wearing the mortar board and the last time taking pictures with my convocation gown. Am thinking whether or not to ask my dad to attend as well. Mum may not be happy if I ask him to attend. But then again, he did contribute to my education as well. Don’t you think he should attend? :)
Time flies, I was going thru the photo albums in my laptop just now. My previous convocation was in year 2009. Mummy was looking so young back then. Now, that I could see so much wrinkle on her face. Dad was looking so young back then too. Now that I can see the differences on his face. When will the time come that I can contribute back to them? I need to give myself a timeline. It cannot take too long for me to give my parents what they want. But what are the ways to it?
I was supposed to be at The Salvatorian Home last weekend. But my kid, Han Ping and I were sick. So, Sister Jane told me not to go this time but maybe the next round when they are back from their holidays. I knew I needed to talk to Han Ping so that he wouldn’t think that I lied to him saying that I will go but at the end I did not turn up.
I was worried that he will be upset with me saying that am not able to attend. But at the end, it was the other way round. He was just so understanding. I felt so nice talking to the kid over the phone. I somehow felt enlighten with this very special kid. He knew that am sick too. He asked me if I have a paper and pen. He wanted to spell something out for me. He says that, “I said this every morning when am awake from my bed. And I got well.” At the end, he spelled me “MARANATHA”. It meant, “Jesus, please come to me.”
He added saying, “No matter what religion you are, you can say this. You will get well very soon.” Maybe this seemed something usual to you, readers. But, I do not know how to describe the feeling again that he is such a special kid. He asked me, “I have a friend that ask me whether you’re my God Sister?” Then I asked, “Who is your friend?” He replied, “Next time when you come here, I will show him to you. So are you agreeing it?” I replied, “I will answer you some other time, alright?” He then said “Okay!”.
I did not know how should I answer, to be a Yes or No? So, I answered him that way. I know where my limitations are. I do not have financial ability to be his God Sister for the time being. I’m worry that I cannot commit myself to him for this time. I do not want to hurt him at the end of the day. Let things go on slowly. If there is a calling from God for me to take care of this kid, Han Ping. Yes, I will go according to HIS will. All I want to do now is that am able to contribute some to the society. Maybe, financially I can’t but, emotionally and physically, I can!
God, please prepare me the path to move on in life! Let me know what is best for me. And I will go according to Your will. Life is never an easy route to walk. But, with the help of God, my family, my sincere friends, soul mate and buddies, Life is not gonna be as hard. God, bring me close to you. I do not want to lose you again. Hold me close to you, God! Amen!
Written : 07/11/11 at 3.15pm
I do not know what this is due to but, I needed time for myself. Many things made me ponder about life. Especially when am alone, especially when am alone looking back at the pictures taken years ago.
Life has not been like a bed of roses lately. Have been frustrated over some stuff. Which also made me think whether to carry on or not. Ok, to make things clear again. Nothing to do with my relationship, ok? Well, I guess this is what life is all about. When something in life tend to be happy, sadness comes by. You agree?
My convocation is on the 17th of December 2011. This may be the last time of me wearing the mortar board and the last time taking pictures with my convocation gown. Am thinking whether or not to ask my dad to attend as well. Mum may not be happy if I ask him to attend. But then again, he did contribute to my education as well. Don’t you think he should attend? :)
Time flies, I was going thru the photo albums in my laptop just now. My previous convocation was in year 2009. Mummy was looking so young back then. Now, that I could see so much wrinkle on her face. Dad was looking so young back then too. Now that I can see the differences on his face. When will the time come that I can contribute back to them? I need to give myself a timeline. It cannot take too long for me to give my parents what they want. But what are the ways to it?
I was supposed to be at The Salvatorian Home last weekend. But my kid, Han Ping and I were sick. So, Sister Jane told me not to go this time but maybe the next round when they are back from their holidays. I knew I needed to talk to Han Ping so that he wouldn’t think that I lied to him saying that I will go but at the end I did not turn up.
I was worried that he will be upset with me saying that am not able to attend. But at the end, it was the other way round. He was just so understanding. I felt so nice talking to the kid over the phone. I somehow felt enlighten with this very special kid. He knew that am sick too. He asked me if I have a paper and pen. He wanted to spell something out for me. He says that, “I said this every morning when am awake from my bed. And I got well.” At the end, he spelled me “MARANATHA”. It meant, “Jesus, please come to me.”
He added saying, “No matter what religion you are, you can say this. You will get well very soon.” Maybe this seemed something usual to you, readers. But, I do not know how to describe the feeling again that he is such a special kid. He asked me, “I have a friend that ask me whether you’re my God Sister?” Then I asked, “Who is your friend?” He replied, “Next time when you come here, I will show him to you. So are you agreeing it?” I replied, “I will answer you some other time, alright?” He then said “Okay!”.
I did not know how should I answer, to be a Yes or No? So, I answered him that way. I know where my limitations are. I do not have financial ability to be his God Sister for the time being. I’m worry that I cannot commit myself to him for this time. I do not want to hurt him at the end of the day. Let things go on slowly. If there is a calling from God for me to take care of this kid, Han Ping. Yes, I will go according to HIS will. All I want to do now is that am able to contribute some to the society. Maybe, financially I can’t but, emotionally and physically, I can!
God, please prepare me the path to move on in life! Let me know what is best for me. And I will go according to Your will. Life is never an easy route to walk. But, with the help of God, my family, my sincere friends, soul mate and buddies, Life is not gonna be as hard. God, bring me close to you. I do not want to lose you again. Hold me close to you, God! Amen!
Written : 07/11/11 at 3.15pm
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