I have not been quite well lately. Had a hard time going through gastritis. Without knowing it was actually gastritis at the very beginning. I do not know what is the cause of it. Stress? Work? Busy life? I really do not know.
Life seems to be getting tougher day by day. Challenges coming from all sorts of direction. Few days back, I suddenly realised, there are a lot of things in life that we need to take care of. You would ask, "Like what?". We need to care for our Family, Relationship, Friendship, Work, Environment and Ourselves.
Not trying to complain or anything but, feeling life is never easy if I do all these by myself without God!
I'm now engaged with the RCIA (Rites of Initiation of Adults). I have learned and encountered much from there. It's a way and solution for me to keep my life balanced.
Thursday was Jane's sharing. She shared it quite well. Suddenly, this thought came to my mind saying. "Emily, you are no longer a small girl. You have grown up!" Well, maybe you would see this as a good thing, right? As for me, I felt a little too sad. Maybe because, sometime back I have been the youngest in the group, community and have always been the youngest in the family. I felt pampered, felt sayang, felt always kena jaga and that feeling is just so comfortable. I don't feel to get out from the comfort zone.
Not to say that am not I don't feel all those now. I still do. But it's somehow different already. I need to live like a grown up.
I will continue to seek guidance and way to live my life. I know, I seriously, really cannot do it alone.
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
An Online Friend That Made Me Ponder Much.
Recently, met an online friend. Till now, I do not know if this is a real person. Or is this just a prank.
Somehow, this person's appearance created a little havoc to my relationship. But wasn't all his fault cox I have fallen into it. Anyhow, we have not been contacting ever since the problem arises.
I do not know how but I wanted to thank him for making me ponder and think much bout my future. I can no longer contact this person because, I know that, the problem will come back again.
Maybe I was still too naive. But, now that am thinking hard on how long and how far this can go. I really hope God will show me the way.
Somehow, this person's appearance created a little havoc to my relationship. But wasn't all his fault cox I have fallen into it. Anyhow, we have not been contacting ever since the problem arises.
I do not know how but I wanted to thank him for making me ponder and think much bout my future. I can no longer contact this person because, I know that, the problem will come back again.
Maybe I was still too naive. But, now that am thinking hard on how long and how far this can go. I really hope God will show me the way.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Friends...
We had our CNY dinner at Sushi Tei. It was my very first time there to this Japanese Restaurant. With Kathleen and Rachel. Was a bit reluctant when I was asked to meet them at Pavillion. Which I thought I could go home early to rest a while then wait for them to come meet me at Wangsa Maju. Things always turns out different with how I expect them to be. Indeed, I have much fun hanging out with the both of them. There's this unhappy, sad feelings when I got down from the car. Because I don't know on when I will meet her again. But I'll definitely meet her again in June.
Till then, I met my friend in Wangsa Maju. Got to know that he is also leaving soon. It was a shocking news for me as I did not expect that too. Haix. He told me that is part of life. But I never thought it will happen so quickly. I'm gonna miss these 2 friends of mine badly.
Today was also a day where I've booked the flight tickets for myself and Mum. I have not done this for my entire life before. I've only did booking for Preslly to come back to KL and back to KK. But never for myself. Today, I've did it! And I felt a bit of achievement because I always wanted to bring Mum on the plane. Although, its just within Malaysia. But it's something that am happy about.
Preslly is coming this weekend. He will be here probably for a week. It's a mixed feelings that I have all together. Happy? Unhappy? I seriously do not know how am I feeling right now. Something that I want to tell him but I just do not know how to say it out.
When it comes to situation like this, I always question myself "What is this all about?". I seriously do not get it. Sometimes, rather to stay single. And which, I did not feel that am in a relationship anymore. Hurmp. This is a big question. "Then will still hold on to it?".
Till then, I met my friend in Wangsa Maju. Got to know that he is also leaving soon. It was a shocking news for me as I did not expect that too. Haix. He told me that is part of life. But I never thought it will happen so quickly. I'm gonna miss these 2 friends of mine badly.
Today was also a day where I've booked the flight tickets for myself and Mum. I have not done this for my entire life before. I've only did booking for Preslly to come back to KL and back to KK. But never for myself. Today, I've did it! And I felt a bit of achievement because I always wanted to bring Mum on the plane. Although, its just within Malaysia. But it's something that am happy about.
Preslly is coming this weekend. He will be here probably for a week. It's a mixed feelings that I have all together. Happy? Unhappy? I seriously do not know how am I feeling right now. Something that I want to tell him but I just do not know how to say it out.
When it comes to situation like this, I always question myself "What is this all about?". I seriously do not get it. Sometimes, rather to stay single. And which, I did not feel that am in a relationship anymore. Hurmp. This is a big question. "Then will still hold on to it?".
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Changes, Difference
Its been a long long time since I last posted here in my bloggy blog. I almost forgotten on it's existence. How's life at recent? Many many things that I have gone through these years. Many many that I have encountered. Many many things happened that made me change from an easily bullied person to a human like lion. Or is it just I have had a bad temper recently?
Those who follows my blog, stay tune for more updates from me. That's all for the time being. This post is like a teaser for me to start blogging again. :)
Those who follows my blog, stay tune for more updates from me. That's all for the time being. This post is like a teaser for me to start blogging again. :)
Friday, December 16, 2011
This Very Moment Of Mine...
2 more days to almost a month, I stopped writting. Why? I guess cox, I just couldn't find the right time to write bout my happenings.
As days gone by, time flies by. Many were in my thoughts, many that I have seen and heard, many that I have learned, many that I've cried over bout. I wonder again, what is life all about? Many things happened in my life at recent, I've been trying very hard coping it all. And at the end, have I really coped them? Or most of the time, I ended up crying in the room?
Looking back at all that I have gone through. Some kind of hardship for me. This and that. Struggle here and there. Financially down, emotionally down, physically down as well. But, only one that I could turn to. My Almighty Father in HEAVEN! HE may not throw me cash from the sky. Again, I need to tell myself all these happens for a whole good reason.
Sometimes, being too happy or I shall say to be extremely happy ain't something good tho. Cox once when you feel emotionally down, its really deeply down. Agree? *Well, you can choose not to agree. :p*
Time really passes me by so so quickly. Its been 3 months that we were together. How is it getting along? Hurmp. I do not know how to answer this question anymore. :) I surrender this to God. If this is meant to be, it will go on. :) If not then, why cling on it? Right?
Its been 5 years in CSS. Yesday was the AGM. Very few juniors attended. Many seniors in fact. We know and have thought this over. Whoever turns up are God's chosen ones to be in Committee. We will not question much. Somehow, the outcome of the AGM was really something we wanted. :) Amen! Praise the LORD!
At times, not all bad stuff that happens are bad. You know why? Cox, when you have gone through the struggle, you turn back and see. Its such a struggle and I'm able to get thru it all! That showed the Greatness in you!
At times, when you're not loved by someone. You'll somehow find someone that love you very very much more than anyone else. That is God and yourself!
Its been a tough year for me. Sadness. Feeling hopeless. Feeling frustrated. Feeling tired. Struggles.
Kick some ass! Cox its 2 more weeks to 2012! Leave all this behind. Cox, all these are just enough! I do not deserve all this. I deserve a happier, more wonderful and meaningful life! ^^
As days gone by, time flies by. Many were in my thoughts, many that I have seen and heard, many that I have learned, many that I've cried over bout. I wonder again, what is life all about? Many things happened in my life at recent, I've been trying very hard coping it all. And at the end, have I really coped them? Or most of the time, I ended up crying in the room?
Looking back at all that I have gone through. Some kind of hardship for me. This and that. Struggle here and there. Financially down, emotionally down, physically down as well. But, only one that I could turn to. My Almighty Father in HEAVEN! HE may not throw me cash from the sky. Again, I need to tell myself all these happens for a whole good reason.
Sometimes, being too happy or I shall say to be extremely happy ain't something good tho. Cox once when you feel emotionally down, its really deeply down. Agree? *Well, you can choose not to agree. :p*
Time really passes me by so so quickly. Its been 3 months that we were together. How is it getting along? Hurmp. I do not know how to answer this question anymore. :) I surrender this to God. If this is meant to be, it will go on. :) If not then, why cling on it? Right?
Its been 5 years in CSS. Yesday was the AGM. Very few juniors attended. Many seniors in fact. We know and have thought this over. Whoever turns up are God's chosen ones to be in Committee. We will not question much. Somehow, the outcome of the AGM was really something we wanted. :) Amen! Praise the LORD!
At times, not all bad stuff that happens are bad. You know why? Cox, when you have gone through the struggle, you turn back and see. Its such a struggle and I'm able to get thru it all! That showed the Greatness in you!
At times, when you're not loved by someone. You'll somehow find someone that love you very very much more than anyone else. That is God and yourself!
Its been a tough year for me. Sadness. Feeling hopeless. Feeling frustrated. Feeling tired. Struggles.
Kick some ass! Cox its 2 more weeks to 2012! Leave all this behind. Cox, all these are just enough! I do not deserve all this. I deserve a happier, more wonderful and meaningful life! ^^
Friday, November 18, 2011
Xmas Miracles?
Quintal Gretel said this in a meeting yesterday, "Who knows if there will be a Xmas Miracle?"
Same thing goes to me, can also I expect for miracles to happen?
Work have been fine these few days. I supposed is because am starting to know more on my job. :)
Mangga Busuk will be getting married next year in January. Mummy have not been well these days. Supposed to be meeting Dad this weekend but I think the plan needs to be cancelled off.
The Xmas Miracle that I hope to have is, may the peace be back to my family, may the health be with my family members, may happiness visits us at our door.
What Xmas Miracle do you expect? :)
Same thing goes to me, can also I expect for miracles to happen?
Work have been fine these few days. I supposed is because am starting to know more on my job. :)
Mangga Busuk will be getting married next year in January. Mummy have not been well these days. Supposed to be meeting Dad this weekend but I think the plan needs to be cancelled off.
The Xmas Miracle that I hope to have is, may the peace be back to my family, may the health be with my family members, may happiness visits us at our door.
What Xmas Miracle do you expect? :)
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Life
Ya. I can't believe that my friend had departed for a week already. Plus I could not believe how time flies. How time change people. How time make everything nice and bad. So much to write again, till I do not know where to start. Life have got its ups and downs again at recent. I think this is how my life is.
Was kinda down last week, my friend departed to God. After reading his news and stories told by his mom, it saddens me more. Why do God want to take such good person off so soon? I went back to Seremban, looked at the pictures we took together. Maybe its real that God takes people off because HE love that person so much more than anyone of us do. What say you?
Incidents after incidents. Lives after lives, Leaving. I tend to seriously appreciate those around me. I seriously do not know what will happen next. Life is so fragile. Its really fragile that it can be just gone in a second. Last week's CSS gathering was a good one. The theme was, "Listening to God's Voice". I always have this problem in identifying, is it God that have spoken to me or was it my own imagination? Dr Cecilia came as the speaker that day. And its been a while ever since she came to CSS to join us in this Family. But somehow, what she said really make alot of senses to me. We were asked to share and no one really did because, I supposed cox they have not met Dr Cecilia before so they may feel stranger towards her. Anyway, I took the opportunity to share my experience.
And, till then I got to know. The month of June was the moment that God stirred my life like "Chao Kuey Teow" just to make me close to HIM. Which I personally felt so too. Cox, that was the very moment that I speak to God every night. Even when I was in my shower. I cried and scolded HIM like a real person. Dr Cecilia then said, "It is not wrong to be angry at God sometimes."
She then added, "God uses different ways to attract or catch people's attention." So, God decided to use the "Stir Fry Method" on me. Don't you think God also have a sense of humor? That was quoted by Sophia Ngiaw in one of my post.
I broke down in tears again on Sunday. I do not know why but I also cried during the sharing in Discipleship Class. I felt, I'm no longer me. I used to be caring, understanding. But now, I felt like I've lost the sense of myself. When I reached home. I felt so heavy once more. I have worries again that time. I wished the bible could talk to me again that time but it did not. I thought God hinted me on the GrapeVineyard story but nothing. Or was it me that do not understand what was written in the scripture?
I misses home so much that time. Funny thing was, I just got back from Seremban that noon. Yaikx. Weird right? Anyway, plus maybe cox Mummy was sick and am kinda worried of her health. I was supposed to attend Vanessa's convo and also to help out in the CSS Flower Sale. But I'll be going back this weekend. Its been 3 years joining the convo flower sale. But this time around, am not able to join them. However, I have full faith on my juniors that they are so gonna fine in handling the sale. They are experts in fundraisings already. :)
We visited the orphanage last Sunday. Looking at their rooms, their home. Just one word came across my mind, Appreciate. The kids were all well trained. They are all well mannered. Its my 3rd time to them orphanage. But this is the one time that I got to know so much bout the Home. How they were funded? What are their activities? Where are they from? Why are they here?
I called Han Ping again yesterday. I think this will be the last time of me calling him before he goes to his grandma's house on Friday. I asked him if he knows who was on the line. He said "Emily Jie Jie" The way he spoke to me is like, he is my brother. Those kinda feeling. He heard me coughing, he asked "You still not well? Take medicine." Well, thoughtful of him. He kept asking me to go visit him. And, I've made my promises to go after their school holidays. One more thing, I asked him if he have done packing all his things to his grandma's house. He said "Yup, you guess how many pieces of clothes do I have?" I said "15?". He answered, "Nope, not so many. 5 shirts and 5 pants. So I've finish packing all into one bag." Deep down in my heart, I felt bad. But all I said was "Okay ar, can fit all into one bag. Somemore can finish packing so fast!" :) I did not want him to know what I felt. :)
Bout work? We have switch workstation already. Now sitting very near to my seniors. Good in a way that, I can ask things easily, I can clarify things easily. Most important thing is, I got to understand better. Either on their job or my job. Maybe God is helping me out with this. I began to understand their stress once more when their threw their frustration at me again. Learning to leave work behind. Not bringing that kinda work emotions back to my home. After work, after 5.15pm, no more work-thinking. Unless if there is OT then tak sama story already lor. :)
Bout him, Preslly. Things have been very good with him. In fact, we are more into each other. :) Its been 2 months that we were together. Can you imagine how time flies? Yes? I can't imagine. LOL! He is now working at Lahad Datu. Hurmp. Working on something not everyone else will do. But, I seriously salute him. He sleeps early these days. Knowing that he is tired. And if its me, I could not afford to work like that. He have always being him. Jokes with me, makes me laugh.
10/11/11 was the day that he could remember so much. Simply because, I was angry at him. Threw him my temper pulak. And he have been telling me that the past days, "10/11/11, hari tu arrr. Ada orang marah dgn saya eh~ Tak tahu siapa eh??" I know I felt bad that time. Because, I have got my headache, thinking of my financial status, worst still brought my work worries back. See how this hurts when I bring my stress along with me? Hahaha! Anyway, thank goodness that he understands much bout me.
Just to say, am glad to be who I am now. I'm glad with the situation that am in now. Although I do cry as much. But, thank God! I am who I am today!
Was kinda down last week, my friend departed to God. After reading his news and stories told by his mom, it saddens me more. Why do God want to take such good person off so soon? I went back to Seremban, looked at the pictures we took together. Maybe its real that God takes people off because HE love that person so much more than anyone of us do. What say you?
Incidents after incidents. Lives after lives, Leaving. I tend to seriously appreciate those around me. I seriously do not know what will happen next. Life is so fragile. Its really fragile that it can be just gone in a second. Last week's CSS gathering was a good one. The theme was, "Listening to God's Voice". I always have this problem in identifying, is it God that have spoken to me or was it my own imagination? Dr Cecilia came as the speaker that day. And its been a while ever since she came to CSS to join us in this Family. But somehow, what she said really make alot of senses to me. We were asked to share and no one really did because, I supposed cox they have not met Dr Cecilia before so they may feel stranger towards her. Anyway, I took the opportunity to share my experience.
And, till then I got to know. The month of June was the moment that God stirred my life like "Chao Kuey Teow" just to make me close to HIM. Which I personally felt so too. Cox, that was the very moment that I speak to God every night. Even when I was in my shower. I cried and scolded HIM like a real person. Dr Cecilia then said, "It is not wrong to be angry at God sometimes."
She then added, "God uses different ways to attract or catch people's attention." So, God decided to use the "Stir Fry Method" on me. Don't you think God also have a sense of humor? That was quoted by Sophia Ngiaw in one of my post.
I broke down in tears again on Sunday. I do not know why but I also cried during the sharing in Discipleship Class. I felt, I'm no longer me. I used to be caring, understanding. But now, I felt like I've lost the sense of myself. When I reached home. I felt so heavy once more. I have worries again that time. I wished the bible could talk to me again that time but it did not. I thought God hinted me on the GrapeVineyard story but nothing. Or was it me that do not understand what was written in the scripture?
I misses home so much that time. Funny thing was, I just got back from Seremban that noon. Yaikx. Weird right? Anyway, plus maybe cox Mummy was sick and am kinda worried of her health. I was supposed to attend Vanessa's convo and also to help out in the CSS Flower Sale. But I'll be going back this weekend. Its been 3 years joining the convo flower sale. But this time around, am not able to join them. However, I have full faith on my juniors that they are so gonna fine in handling the sale. They are experts in fundraisings already. :)
We visited the orphanage last Sunday. Looking at their rooms, their home. Just one word came across my mind, Appreciate. The kids were all well trained. They are all well mannered. Its my 3rd time to them orphanage. But this is the one time that I got to know so much bout the Home. How they were funded? What are their activities? Where are they from? Why are they here?
I called Han Ping again yesterday. I think this will be the last time of me calling him before he goes to his grandma's house on Friday. I asked him if he knows who was on the line. He said "Emily Jie Jie" The way he spoke to me is like, he is my brother. Those kinda feeling. He heard me coughing, he asked "You still not well? Take medicine." Well, thoughtful of him. He kept asking me to go visit him. And, I've made my promises to go after their school holidays. One more thing, I asked him if he have done packing all his things to his grandma's house. He said "Yup, you guess how many pieces of clothes do I have?" I said "15?". He answered, "Nope, not so many. 5 shirts and 5 pants. So I've finish packing all into one bag." Deep down in my heart, I felt bad. But all I said was "Okay ar, can fit all into one bag. Somemore can finish packing so fast!" :) I did not want him to know what I felt. :)
Bout work? We have switch workstation already. Now sitting very near to my seniors. Good in a way that, I can ask things easily, I can clarify things easily. Most important thing is, I got to understand better. Either on their job or my job. Maybe God is helping me out with this. I began to understand their stress once more when their threw their frustration at me again. Learning to leave work behind. Not bringing that kinda work emotions back to my home. After work, after 5.15pm, no more work-thinking. Unless if there is OT then tak sama story already lor. :)
Bout him, Preslly. Things have been very good with him. In fact, we are more into each other. :) Its been 2 months that we were together. Can you imagine how time flies? Yes? I can't imagine. LOL! He is now working at Lahad Datu. Hurmp. Working on something not everyone else will do. But, I seriously salute him. He sleeps early these days. Knowing that he is tired. And if its me, I could not afford to work like that. He have always being him. Jokes with me, makes me laugh.
10/11/11 was the day that he could remember so much. Simply because, I was angry at him. Threw him my temper pulak. And he have been telling me that the past days, "10/11/11, hari tu arrr. Ada orang marah dgn saya eh~ Tak tahu siapa eh??" I know I felt bad that time. Because, I have got my headache, thinking of my financial status, worst still brought my work worries back. See how this hurts when I bring my stress along with me? Hahaha! Anyway, thank goodness that he understands much bout me.
Just to say, am glad to be who I am now. I'm glad with the situation that am in now. Although I do cry as much. But, thank God! I am who I am today!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
RIP, Adrian.
I was suddenly awaken in the middle of the night at 3am. Went on Fb for awhile. I saw Merlinda's post saying that Adrian Jay Pereira have been murdered. This is a so super shocking news. Adrian is our Catechism friend. I could still remember liking him so much when we were in the Confirmation Class together.
He was murdered because of defensing from the guy who wants to steal his bike. I had sleepless night till 4am. Thinking and remembering how he looked. Remembering how we worked together cleaning the church for our Confirmation activity.
Although its been a while that we meet each other. But he is a good friend indeed.
May his soul rest in peace. God Bless, Adrian.
He was murdered because of defensing from the guy who wants to steal his bike. I had sleepless night till 4am. Thinking and remembering how he looked. Remembering how we worked together cleaning the church for our Confirmation activity.
Although its been a while that we meet each other. But he is a good friend indeed.
May his soul rest in peace. God Bless, Adrian.
Being Alone.
Of a sudden, I felt so much like blogging but I do not have internet access now. So I decided to type it in the Microsoft Word 1st then post it up in my blogspot when I have the chance to do so. I do not know why but these days, I kinda enjoy being alone. Kinda enjoy the time, eating alone, listening to songs alone, walking here and there alone.
I do not know what this is due to but, I needed time for myself. Many things made me ponder about life. Especially when am alone, especially when am alone looking back at the pictures taken years ago.
Life has not been like a bed of roses lately. Have been frustrated over some stuff. Which also made me think whether to carry on or not. Ok, to make things clear again. Nothing to do with my relationship, ok? Well, I guess this is what life is all about. When something in life tend to be happy, sadness comes by. You agree?
My convocation is on the 17th of December 2011. This may be the last time of me wearing the mortar board and the last time taking pictures with my convocation gown. Am thinking whether or not to ask my dad to attend as well. Mum may not be happy if I ask him to attend. But then again, he did contribute to my education as well. Don’t you think he should attend? :)
Time flies, I was going thru the photo albums in my laptop just now. My previous convocation was in year 2009. Mummy was looking so young back then. Now, that I could see so much wrinkle on her face. Dad was looking so young back then too. Now that I can see the differences on his face. When will the time come that I can contribute back to them? I need to give myself a timeline. It cannot take too long for me to give my parents what they want. But what are the ways to it?
I was supposed to be at The Salvatorian Home last weekend. But my kid, Han Ping and I were sick. So, Sister Jane told me not to go this time but maybe the next round when they are back from their holidays. I knew I needed to talk to Han Ping so that he wouldn’t think that I lied to him saying that I will go but at the end I did not turn up.
I was worried that he will be upset with me saying that am not able to attend. But at the end, it was the other way round. He was just so understanding. I felt so nice talking to the kid over the phone. I somehow felt enlighten with this very special kid. He knew that am sick too. He asked me if I have a paper and pen. He wanted to spell something out for me. He says that, “I said this every morning when am awake from my bed. And I got well.” At the end, he spelled me “MARANATHA”. It meant, “Jesus, please come to me.”
He added saying, “No matter what religion you are, you can say this. You will get well very soon.” Maybe this seemed something usual to you, readers. But, I do not know how to describe the feeling again that he is such a special kid. He asked me, “I have a friend that ask me whether you’re my God Sister?” Then I asked, “Who is your friend?” He replied, “Next time when you come here, I will show him to you. So are you agreeing it?” I replied, “I will answer you some other time, alright?” He then said “Okay!”.
I did not know how should I answer, to be a Yes or No? So, I answered him that way. I know where my limitations are. I do not have financial ability to be his God Sister for the time being. I’m worry that I cannot commit myself to him for this time. I do not want to hurt him at the end of the day. Let things go on slowly. If there is a calling from God for me to take care of this kid, Han Ping. Yes, I will go according to HIS will. All I want to do now is that am able to contribute some to the society. Maybe, financially I can’t but, emotionally and physically, I can!
God, please prepare me the path to move on in life! Let me know what is best for me. And I will go according to Your will. Life is never an easy route to walk. But, with the help of God, my family, my sincere friends, soul mate and buddies, Life is not gonna be as hard. God, bring me close to you. I do not want to lose you again. Hold me close to you, God! Amen!
Written : 07/11/11 at 3.15pm
I do not know what this is due to but, I needed time for myself. Many things made me ponder about life. Especially when am alone, especially when am alone looking back at the pictures taken years ago.
Life has not been like a bed of roses lately. Have been frustrated over some stuff. Which also made me think whether to carry on or not. Ok, to make things clear again. Nothing to do with my relationship, ok? Well, I guess this is what life is all about. When something in life tend to be happy, sadness comes by. You agree?
My convocation is on the 17th of December 2011. This may be the last time of me wearing the mortar board and the last time taking pictures with my convocation gown. Am thinking whether or not to ask my dad to attend as well. Mum may not be happy if I ask him to attend. But then again, he did contribute to my education as well. Don’t you think he should attend? :)
Time flies, I was going thru the photo albums in my laptop just now. My previous convocation was in year 2009. Mummy was looking so young back then. Now, that I could see so much wrinkle on her face. Dad was looking so young back then too. Now that I can see the differences on his face. When will the time come that I can contribute back to them? I need to give myself a timeline. It cannot take too long for me to give my parents what they want. But what are the ways to it?
I was supposed to be at The Salvatorian Home last weekend. But my kid, Han Ping and I were sick. So, Sister Jane told me not to go this time but maybe the next round when they are back from their holidays. I knew I needed to talk to Han Ping so that he wouldn’t think that I lied to him saying that I will go but at the end I did not turn up.
I was worried that he will be upset with me saying that am not able to attend. But at the end, it was the other way round. He was just so understanding. I felt so nice talking to the kid over the phone. I somehow felt enlighten with this very special kid. He knew that am sick too. He asked me if I have a paper and pen. He wanted to spell something out for me. He says that, “I said this every morning when am awake from my bed. And I got well.” At the end, he spelled me “MARANATHA”. It meant, “Jesus, please come to me.”
He added saying, “No matter what religion you are, you can say this. You will get well very soon.” Maybe this seemed something usual to you, readers. But, I do not know how to describe the feeling again that he is such a special kid. He asked me, “I have a friend that ask me whether you’re my God Sister?” Then I asked, “Who is your friend?” He replied, “Next time when you come here, I will show him to you. So are you agreeing it?” I replied, “I will answer you some other time, alright?” He then said “Okay!”.
I did not know how should I answer, to be a Yes or No? So, I answered him that way. I know where my limitations are. I do not have financial ability to be his God Sister for the time being. I’m worry that I cannot commit myself to him for this time. I do not want to hurt him at the end of the day. Let things go on slowly. If there is a calling from God for me to take care of this kid, Han Ping. Yes, I will go according to HIS will. All I want to do now is that am able to contribute some to the society. Maybe, financially I can’t but, emotionally and physically, I can!
God, please prepare me the path to move on in life! Let me know what is best for me. And I will go according to Your will. Life is never an easy route to walk. But, with the help of God, my family, my sincere friends, soul mate and buddies, Life is not gonna be as hard. God, bring me close to you. I do not want to lose you again. Hold me close to you, God! Amen!
Written : 07/11/11 at 3.15pm
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Contradiction, again?
It is today that I posted here again. I find life kinda unhappy these days. Now, ask me why? I do not know the answer either. Having him in my life somehow made me loved, cared and touched. The morning calls that he gave, makes my day. He encourages me early in the morning for a great day. Although, most of the time on phone calls, for the time being I could still bear with it.
I don't know if things happened too fast but that was what Julius told me yesterday.
Times that I tend to be unhappy at would be in the early noon. When am stuck at doing now or doing something but nothing. Wow! Contradicting right? I felt so. I found a web that could actually let me share my experiences. Which is the experienceproject.com .
I found this page quite interesting where, I may probably find people who have the same thinking with talking on their stuff. People can comment there. Its some sort like a blog page and people have the same topic to speak at.
For now, I'm feeling kinda uneasy. Not sure with what but, I'm still awaiting for.....
I don't know if things happened too fast but that was what Julius told me yesterday.
Times that I tend to be unhappy at would be in the early noon. When am stuck at doing now or doing something but nothing. Wow! Contradicting right? I felt so. I found a web that could actually let me share my experiences. Which is the experienceproject.com .
I found this page quite interesting where, I may probably find people who have the same thinking with talking on their stuff. People can comment there. Its some sort like a blog page and people have the same topic to speak at.
For now, I'm feeling kinda uneasy. Not sure with what but, I'm still awaiting for.....
Friday, October 21, 2011
Awaiting.
Its been a week again that am away from my blog. I do not know how to start bout writing. I have a lot of thinkings these days. Are these thinkings even necessary? I somehow felt Life is not an easy word anymore. There is so much, so much to bear with. I wonder if others have the same thoughts as me or is it just me thinking too much?
Tummy have not been too well these days. Slight diarrhea here and there. I feel weak of a sudden. I feel like vomiting. Is it due to the food consumed? Is it due to the emotions that I have now? Its got nothing to do with the relationship that am in. Things seemed to be fine with the relationship. :) Thank God!
I have been questioning myself, do I deserve to be happy? What's with chasing after something but we all know all are not permanent? What do I have such thoughts? I sounded so unhappy here in this post right? Which I do feel the unhappiness now. And, I do not know why I felt so. Contradicting right?
I'm waiting for the 4 months to pass, its gonna be the end of my contract after 4 months, we'll be meeting up again after 4 months. I'm waiting for the 4th of November to come. Cox I'll be going to the Salvatorian Home. I'm looking for ways to make myself happy with Life.
I hate it when this happens, I do things without a reason. I do not like to do things blindly. When I do things blindly, I do things heartlessly.
Till then, please pray for me. Amen!
Tummy have not been too well these days. Slight diarrhea here and there. I feel weak of a sudden. I feel like vomiting. Is it due to the food consumed? Is it due to the emotions that I have now? Its got nothing to do with the relationship that am in. Things seemed to be fine with the relationship. :) Thank God!
I have been questioning myself, do I deserve to be happy? What's with chasing after something but we all know all are not permanent? What do I have such thoughts? I sounded so unhappy here in this post right? Which I do feel the unhappiness now. And, I do not know why I felt so. Contradicting right?
I'm waiting for the 4 months to pass, its gonna be the end of my contract after 4 months, we'll be meeting up again after 4 months. I'm waiting for the 4th of November to come. Cox I'll be going to the Salvatorian Home. I'm looking for ways to make myself happy with Life.
I hate it when this happens, I do things without a reason. I do not like to do things blindly. When I do things blindly, I do things heartlessly.
Till then, please pray for me. Amen!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
BreakAway~
It was another break away.
Life have been hectic. And, the meet up with Pipi was a good one. :) Got to know him a little bit more. Got to understand him a little bit more.
During the days, Kath and I didn't really chatted much but somehow. She enligthened me with some thoughts. At my age, I should dare to try out things. As in, work larrr~ LOL! Don't think wrongly k? :D Looking back at what am doing daily. Looking forward in the future. How is my future gonna be like? I wonder. We need to be happy in life right? :) How to be happy?
What I have in mind to be happy is to spread more love to others. I will be going to Malacca in November to meet the kid. :) Plan to spend some time off there with the kids. Till then.
Life have been hectic. And, the meet up with Pipi was a good one. :) Got to know him a little bit more. Got to understand him a little bit more.
During the days, Kath and I didn't really chatted much but somehow. She enligthened me with some thoughts. At my age, I should dare to try out things. As in, work larrr~ LOL! Don't think wrongly k? :D Looking back at what am doing daily. Looking forward in the future. How is my future gonna be like? I wonder. We need to be happy in life right? :) How to be happy?
What I have in mind to be happy is to spread more love to others. I will be going to Malacca in November to meet the kid. :) Plan to spend some time off there with the kids. Till then.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Thoughts These Days...
Its been awhile again where I blogged here. I have been busy with work most of the time. Work load have added. Working overtime the past days. Have been tired.
But, somehow again, there so much things to ponder on life again. I've working hard. I've been getting scolding here and there. For not remembering what I have done. Yes, I cried in the office again. But all these are just the process of growing. I'm trying to be as positive as I could to get thru all that am struggling with.
But the soulmate of mine. I do not know what perception others will have unto him. But, for the time being, I'm just knowing where my limits are. Maybe to many this really do not make sense. Such a short period of time knowing each other. And, we're together. Looking back at the past. Many were in love, many were out of love. What is the definition of love actually? I really do not know. He even asked me that question "Apa itu Cinta?"
I din know how to answer. Maybe it was me that needed extra cares? Its a selfish way to think that way. Right? I do not know. But somehow, he is a caring person. He remembers every single thing that were said. I could still remember how he spoke to me on the phone when I told him I had gastric that time. I do not know if these could be used to evaluate but, am praying to GOD everything falls into place.
Last week, I attended the CSS Annual Camp for the 4th time. Was my second time as a participant. I was so touched, so glad to see the results! I am so proud of my juniors, the Excos that made the CSS dream came true! Praise the LORD! Its been 4 years, wanting to make things happen. Thanks to all seniors also that was hard to us in building the foundation of CSS! CSS is how it is today, not because of me, but ALL!
I seriously love this camp because it was a whole different experience from the past. We were brought to the beach to play with the kids. They are not really orphans but they were kids that were lacking much on love. I was waiting so excitedly to know who will be the kid that am gonna be taking care of. I was hoping that the kid will be at younger aged. You know smaller kids are more fun to play with. But, I was assigned to a kid named Han Ping.
He is a kid with only one eye sight, he do not have 100% vision on the other eye. He ran out from home at the age of 10 because he was tortured so badly by his parents. I was worried while walking to the beach. Who will this kid turn out to be? How will he look like? Is he a rebellious kid? Many were in my thoughts but, somehow was a bit relaxed when Andrew and I started singing along the way. :)
At first, he stick to Mervin very much. He din wanna talk to me much. I assume he was shy that time. I kept disturbing him in the water. Kept tickling him. He ended up calling me "Sha Yu", that meant, Shark! LOL! I didn't know that was love towards the kid until during reflection that I cried. The image of him smilling kept appearing in my mind. He is a role model to me as, he is strong, he is courages, he is optimistic. Although, his parents never came to see him eversince he ran out from home. But he never blames.
I called him just now at the home, Sister Jane told him that I called, when he answered the call. He called me Sha Yu, Emily Jie Jie. That was the so so touching moment that I felt. I eventually cried. Then made Sister Jane and Han Ping cried too. I will go there again to meet him. Cox I really hope that I can give him love. Amen!
But, somehow again, there so much things to ponder on life again. I've working hard. I've been getting scolding here and there. For not remembering what I have done. Yes, I cried in the office again. But all these are just the process of growing. I'm trying to be as positive as I could to get thru all that am struggling with.
But the soulmate of mine. I do not know what perception others will have unto him. But, for the time being, I'm just knowing where my limits are. Maybe to many this really do not make sense. Such a short period of time knowing each other. And, we're together. Looking back at the past. Many were in love, many were out of love. What is the definition of love actually? I really do not know. He even asked me that question "Apa itu Cinta?"
I din know how to answer. Maybe it was me that needed extra cares? Its a selfish way to think that way. Right? I do not know. But somehow, he is a caring person. He remembers every single thing that were said. I could still remember how he spoke to me on the phone when I told him I had gastric that time. I do not know if these could be used to evaluate but, am praying to GOD everything falls into place.
Last week, I attended the CSS Annual Camp for the 4th time. Was my second time as a participant. I was so touched, so glad to see the results! I am so proud of my juniors, the Excos that made the CSS dream came true! Praise the LORD! Its been 4 years, wanting to make things happen. Thanks to all seniors also that was hard to us in building the foundation of CSS! CSS is how it is today, not because of me, but ALL!
I seriously love this camp because it was a whole different experience from the past. We were brought to the beach to play with the kids. They are not really orphans but they were kids that were lacking much on love. I was waiting so excitedly to know who will be the kid that am gonna be taking care of. I was hoping that the kid will be at younger aged. You know smaller kids are more fun to play with. But, I was assigned to a kid named Han Ping.
He is a kid with only one eye sight, he do not have 100% vision on the other eye. He ran out from home at the age of 10 because he was tortured so badly by his parents. I was worried while walking to the beach. Who will this kid turn out to be? How will he look like? Is he a rebellious kid? Many were in my thoughts but, somehow was a bit relaxed when Andrew and I started singing along the way. :)
At first, he stick to Mervin very much. He din wanna talk to me much. I assume he was shy that time. I kept disturbing him in the water. Kept tickling him. He ended up calling me "Sha Yu", that meant, Shark! LOL! I didn't know that was love towards the kid until during reflection that I cried. The image of him smilling kept appearing in my mind. He is a role model to me as, he is strong, he is courages, he is optimistic. Although, his parents never came to see him eversince he ran out from home. But he never blames.
I called him just now at the home, Sister Jane told him that I called, when he answered the call. He called me Sha Yu, Emily Jie Jie. That was the so so touching moment that I felt. I eventually cried. Then made Sister Jane and Han Ping cried too. I will go there again to meet him. Cox I really hope that I can give him love. Amen!
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thinking the Thoughts of Life~
How have your life been recently? Yup. You need to answer my question. LOL! Anyway, many things came across my mind, my life. Things that I never really thought of previously, actually happens now. :)
Well, let's speak about my family 1st. Matters at home home have not been very chaotic tho. Just slight quarrel here and there. But, after that all was fine. :) But somehow, you know me right? I cried again lar. Somemore what? And, now Mangga Busuk and Kathleen calls me Emoly. But one thing, if only mum knows why was I crying that time, so that she won't think of other stuff as ''Why is she crying again?"
Know what? Sometimes, I really I hope that things will be better off after some quarrel tho. :) And somehow, it did alittle.
Work? Work is getting more and more challenging. Not bout more or lesser work but more to responsibilities. Sometimes, kinda pissed with myself when things are not done as others expects. How to say this? Nevermind, I do not know how to describe but I will hang on with what am going thru now with a smile. :)
Love? Ya, am in a relationship with him. Hopefully everything will go on fine. He understands me although we only speaks thru the phone these while. But, he is also an emo person which I need to take off things that I say. :) Another thing is to learn to trust. Trust somehow is a very big word for me as, maybe I see many happenings around me. Love is not always a bed of roses too. :) Anyway, learn to trust and learn to love.
Bout myself at recent, have been saving alot on spending. Monitoring my spending very carefully. Salary is really cukup-cukup. Cannot spend a bit extra pun. :) Well, looking at the very bright side, I'm learning a Financial Control myself without needing to go to the Financial Consultant. :) Cool right?
Well, let's speak about my family 1st. Matters at home home have not been very chaotic tho. Just slight quarrel here and there. But, after that all was fine. :) But somehow, you know me right? I cried again lar. Somemore what? And, now Mangga Busuk and Kathleen calls me Emoly. But one thing, if only mum knows why was I crying that time, so that she won't think of other stuff as ''Why is she crying again?"
Know what? Sometimes, I really I hope that things will be better off after some quarrel tho. :) And somehow, it did alittle.
Work? Work is getting more and more challenging. Not bout more or lesser work but more to responsibilities. Sometimes, kinda pissed with myself when things are not done as others expects. How to say this? Nevermind, I do not know how to describe but I will hang on with what am going thru now with a smile. :)
Love? Ya, am in a relationship with him. Hopefully everything will go on fine. He understands me although we only speaks thru the phone these while. But, he is also an emo person which I need to take off things that I say. :) Another thing is to learn to trust. Trust somehow is a very big word for me as, maybe I see many happenings around me. Love is not always a bed of roses too. :) Anyway, learn to trust and learn to love.
Bout myself at recent, have been saving alot on spending. Monitoring my spending very carefully. Salary is really cukup-cukup. Cannot spend a bit extra pun. :) Well, looking at the very bright side, I'm learning a Financial Control myself without needing to go to the Financial Consultant. :) Cool right?
Friday, September 16, 2011
My Thoughts For Now...~
Its really been a long time ever since I blogged here. Normally, its like a week to abandon my blog then I will be back here to post again. But somehow, I didn't even have the time to blog about my experience in Redang with Kathleen and Rachel, what more to upload the pictures as I have promised?
Well, for now, I do not have much mood to blog bout Redang but in fact my feelings for the past weeks when am back from the island.
Here is how it goes. Life button have been reset when we were at the island. I was kinda happy or to be exact, very happy when I was back cox, I made kinda lotsa frens there. Somehow, have admirers pulak. Funny right? Well simply because this never happened to me before so it was kinda hard to believe that actually got people like me ar? LOL! I wonder if you understand that kind of feelings. :)
Then somemore got 2 person admire pulak. That is like more funny right? But somehow, one was a indian-muslim and the other one is a Sabahan Catholic. So guess what? LOL! Dunno how to tell but religion is now my priority.
I have accepted him. Would not wanna say more on the stages on how things fell into place but, he is somehow a caring person. Although we are like far apart but we still feel near. Well, am not judging anything for the time being bcox all these are just the start. :) Not many knew bout this yet. Not even Css nor buddies but Kath and Rachel, yup they knew bout it already.
Final word, I still couldn't get over the past although its like 6 yrs back. The ever back bad experience is still hunting me down. I know if I don't get this over, it will nt be fair to him. No matter how he is or how he will be, I will still put my trust in him. :) I know GOD planned this. :D
Better said is that am accepting what is given, am appreciating those around me as am given the chance now. Till then readers. Will be uploading the picx in Redang soon.
Chiaox! ^^
Well, for now, I do not have much mood to blog bout Redang but in fact my feelings for the past weeks when am back from the island.
Here is how it goes. Life button have been reset when we were at the island. I was kinda happy or to be exact, very happy when I was back cox, I made kinda lotsa frens there. Somehow, have admirers pulak. Funny right? Well simply because this never happened to me before so it was kinda hard to believe that actually got people like me ar? LOL! I wonder if you understand that kind of feelings. :)
Then somemore got 2 person admire pulak. That is like more funny right? But somehow, one was a indian-muslim and the other one is a Sabahan Catholic. So guess what? LOL! Dunno how to tell but religion is now my priority.
I have accepted him. Would not wanna say more on the stages on how things fell into place but, he is somehow a caring person. Although we are like far apart but we still feel near. Well, am not judging anything for the time being bcox all these are just the start. :) Not many knew bout this yet. Not even Css nor buddies but Kath and Rachel, yup they knew bout it already.
Final word, I still couldn't get over the past although its like 6 yrs back. The ever back bad experience is still hunting me down. I know if I don't get this over, it will nt be fair to him. No matter how he is or how he will be, I will still put my trust in him. :) I know GOD planned this. :D
Better said is that am accepting what is given, am appreciating those around me as am given the chance now. Till then readers. Will be uploading the picx in Redang soon.
Chiaox! ^^
Monday, August 29, 2011
A Few Teaser.
Its been awhile since I upload pictures here in my bloggy blog. A few teaser before I upload the picx when am back from Redang. :)
This is the current me. Check it out.
Top 10 Agent Dinner @ Arthur's Bar with My Superiors
M3*Rachel*Mr David(Regional Manager)*Kathleen(Travel Manager)
Her name is Aurora, one of the Choir Singer from Indonesia.
Don't we look alike? ^^
Bryan & His Red Eggs (Fah Family's Tradition-Red Egg on Birthdays) :)
His dad made him-Cream Nose! XD
Cake cutting with his Dad~
I wonder what is he wishing for? More Toy Story Toys? :P
Ladies~
Xiao Heng & I
She wore my Fav Pooh!
Caught her to picx with me! LOL!
My Birthday Cakies from Kathleen, Rachel & Amelia. ^^
Yummy yum right? :D
Monday-Again. :D
Its Monday again.
At times, days passes by fast, days passes by slow. Have been hanging out with frens, buddies quite often these days. To avoid myself thinking too much.
Life is a serious journey that I'm learning how to walk the way. Frankly, its been a struggle for me ever since I started working? I felt that am on my own already. Of course there's always my family, friends, buddies there to count on.
I realise, all these are just the process of growing up. Once I again, if am able to get thru this all. Am gonna be cool after that. I believe all these are just gonna be for half a year. After paying off the debts, am gonna be a little not too struggling anymore. :)
Well, well. I went to the book fair with Stacey. And, it was our 1st girls' day out, just the both of us. We spent 6 hours there at the fair. And, we didn't know till that day, we like so many things in common. Cool isn't it? We love craft stuffs, fancy scissors, colour pens, colourful files, fancy punchers etc. And, I never expect that she love reading John Grisham's books. Those Detective, Crime books.
We sat down reading books. I caught one photography book and I ended up flipping thru the whole book from front till the back. And, I've got some ideas on ISO, Settings and stuff like that. Although mine is a basic camera, but its a much functions too. ^^
There's a book that I so wanna own, titled "Awaken Your Strongest Self". Knowing that sometimes, its not all books that you'll wanna pick. But this, when I picked it up. Read a few pages, its really speaking to me. :)
But somehow, my salary wasn't out yet that time so, no no money to buy the book. Aikx! Anyhow, maybe its still not time yet for me to own the book. Let's see if I have time to go there on Friday again. :) I'll pick the book up again. Probably own it? :D
Till then, will be heading over to Redang tonight. Gotta enjoy the days there and errrr. Take a break from the busy-ness and emo-ness. LOL! Alright. Awaits for the photos to be up here ya! Chiaox! ^^
At times, days passes by fast, days passes by slow. Have been hanging out with frens, buddies quite often these days. To avoid myself thinking too much.
Life is a serious journey that I'm learning how to walk the way. Frankly, its been a struggle for me ever since I started working? I felt that am on my own already. Of course there's always my family, friends, buddies there to count on.
I realise, all these are just the process of growing up. Once I again, if am able to get thru this all. Am gonna be cool after that. I believe all these are just gonna be for half a year. After paying off the debts, am gonna be a little not too struggling anymore. :)
Well, well. I went to the book fair with Stacey. And, it was our 1st girls' day out, just the both of us. We spent 6 hours there at the fair. And, we didn't know till that day, we like so many things in common. Cool isn't it? We love craft stuffs, fancy scissors, colour pens, colourful files, fancy punchers etc. And, I never expect that she love reading John Grisham's books. Those Detective, Crime books.
We sat down reading books. I caught one photography book and I ended up flipping thru the whole book from front till the back. And, I've got some ideas on ISO, Settings and stuff like that. Although mine is a basic camera, but its a much functions too. ^^
There's a book that I so wanna own, titled "Awaken Your Strongest Self". Knowing that sometimes, its not all books that you'll wanna pick. But this, when I picked it up. Read a few pages, its really speaking to me. :)
But somehow, my salary wasn't out yet that time so, no no money to buy the book. Aikx! Anyhow, maybe its still not time yet for me to own the book. Let's see if I have time to go there on Friday again. :) I'll pick the book up again. Probably own it? :D
Till then, will be heading over to Redang tonight. Gotta enjoy the days there and errrr. Take a break from the busy-ness and emo-ness. LOL! Alright. Awaits for the photos to be up here ya! Chiaox! ^^
Monday, August 22, 2011
Ya, Its Monday.
Had another short weekend over in Seremban. I was kinda reluctant to go back Seremban actually. Somehow, I do not wish to hear my mum speak on those things anymore. Went to meet up with Mangga Busuk and Jie. He said that he will be going back to Seremban. How cool is that?
Went back to Seremban. Mum did not speak anything bout it. Somehow, she told Mangga Busuk bout it. I heard the conversation but I did not join in nor go near them thru out the conversation. I heard mum cried alittle. But, I supposed she is much better now after Mangga Busuk spoke to her.
Well, life at work is getting a little bit more tougher. That's how life will be. :) First time attending the Direct Marketing Dept meeting today. And the figures are huge. I cannot lost count on the number of numbers. LOL!
Anyway, salary is still not out yet. Hurmp. Shall wait for it then. Erm. Till then!
Cheers all! ^^
Went back to Seremban. Mum did not speak anything bout it. Somehow, she told Mangga Busuk bout it. I heard the conversation but I did not join in nor go near them thru out the conversation. I heard mum cried alittle. But, I supposed she is much better now after Mangga Busuk spoke to her.
Well, life at work is getting a little bit more tougher. That's how life will be. :) First time attending the Direct Marketing Dept meeting today. And the figures are huge. I cannot lost count on the number of numbers. LOL!
Anyway, salary is still not out yet. Hurmp. Shall wait for it then. Erm. Till then!
Cheers all! ^^
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Lesser Time.
It was last night, where God really put me in test. Its been quite awhile I went STP-ing. I got an appointment yesday at PJ. And once I walked out from the office. The sky was as grey. The rain was as heavy. Thank God I have the red umbrella with me. Appointment is at 7.30pm. No choice but to continue walking to KLCC under the rain. It wasn't so bad to get wet because of the rain but the worst thing is, the rain and wind spoilt my headset. LOL!
I reached home around 10.30pm. Was a wholesome tiring night but, I know its gonna be a worth. All these were done for just one reason.
Somehow, I was sadden with Mom's conversation on the phone last night. I called her when I've reached home. She was asleep. But she still chatted with me awhile. Was all fine fine but till, of a sudden, she spoke bout Dad. Of a sudden scolding, saying bad stuff bout Dad. Now, I know that she does not feel good bout it. He is not taking care of the family. Although everyone are struggling at home taking care of the family. But we are still able to hold on to it for now.
Please give us some time to patch things up again. There's alot of things that are making her worry. I understand. And I know what am going thru and I remember what I have gone thru. Just some time.
Please do not worry of losing us because we will always be with you.
We LOVE YOU, Mummy!
I reached home around 10.30pm. Was a wholesome tiring night but, I know its gonna be a worth. All these were done for just one reason.
Somehow, I was sadden with Mom's conversation on the phone last night. I called her when I've reached home. She was asleep. But she still chatted with me awhile. Was all fine fine but till, of a sudden, she spoke bout Dad. Of a sudden scolding, saying bad stuff bout Dad. Now, I know that she does not feel good bout it. He is not taking care of the family. Although everyone are struggling at home taking care of the family. But we are still able to hold on to it for now.
Please give us some time to patch things up again. There's alot of things that are making her worry. I understand. And I know what am going thru and I remember what I have gone thru. Just some time.
Please do not worry of losing us because we will always be with you.
We LOVE YOU, Mummy!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Friends~
My friend called me last 2 days. Asking me if I wanna go to Bali next year. Well, maybe those who knows my story would know what will my answer would be. I admit, I do not join them much for trips.
I find it hard for them to understand why am I acting this way. Maybe, my priority now, is my family? How many would take that in as theirs? Fare to Bali is RM333 which I find it affordable BUT. For my situation now, I would rather bring my mum to PD or even just Malacca if I have the money.
I smsed ZS yesday, telling him why is it that am now going. He did not reply. Rachel and Mangga Busuk told me the same thing. If friends are friends, they will not let you go simply because you dun join them for trips. I do not wanna get him wrong. And I hope that am not wrong in guessing why he did not reply.
I'll be meeting Keng Looi later at PJ. I'll need to work harder for my future, family. Many of my friends are earning more than me now. Well, nothing to be unhappy with cox, I know where what it takes to bring me to where I wanna be/go. :)
Thank God that I'm in the business. Cox, I've learned and appreciate more about my family! All the best to me! ^^
I find it hard for them to understand why am I acting this way. Maybe, my priority now, is my family? How many would take that in as theirs? Fare to Bali is RM333 which I find it affordable BUT. For my situation now, I would rather bring my mum to PD or even just Malacca if I have the money.
I smsed ZS yesday, telling him why is it that am now going. He did not reply. Rachel and Mangga Busuk told me the same thing. If friends are friends, they will not let you go simply because you dun join them for trips. I do not wanna get him wrong. And I hope that am not wrong in guessing why he did not reply.
I'll be meeting Keng Looi later at PJ. I'll need to work harder for my future, family. Many of my friends are earning more than me now. Well, nothing to be unhappy with cox, I know where what it takes to bring me to where I wanna be/go. :)
Thank God that I'm in the business. Cox, I've learned and appreciate more about my family! All the best to me! ^^
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